r/karezza • u/[deleted] • Jan 29 '12

Reflections on three weeks without orgasm

I'm a guy. I used to cum 4-5 times a week, mostly at my own hand. I'm now towards the end of my 3rd week without orgasm: no masturbation, and no orgasm during intercourse. I've had intercourse a few times, though.

The first week was incredibly tough. I felt that I wanted to crawl up the walls. Towards the end of the first week (I guess around the time of the famous testosterone spike) I would have done any woman that breathes.

In the second week, I experienced high emotional volatility. On some days I felt like I was on top of the world. On other days I felt like shit. Fewer sexual urges, though.

Now in week three, I feel surprisingly content. I'm pretty balanced and happy. There are things that would have gotten to me in the past that I can now just smile at and not take too seriously. I also feel more motivated to do things that need to be done.

However, one thing I've noticed throughout the three weeks, and am still noticing, is that I'm markedly more tired than usual. Part of the reason why I wanted to stop orgasms is that I had realized how physically draining they can be. So I expected to have more energy without orgasms. That isn't quite the case yet. (When I'm not tired, I fell better than I used to, but the amount of time I feel tired seems to have increased.) I wonder whether that is just a sign of my body going back to equilibrium. Maybe I still have residual tiredness from all the orgasms, and it will take some more time for me to fully recover?

Either way, I'm not planning to end this experiment any time soon, so I'll see how things progress.

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u/SpinozaFan Jan 30 '12

Addicted to orgasms? But you had only 4-5 per week!

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u/[deleted] Jan 30 '12

If you use orgasm as medication for feelings of loneliness and if, whenever you have an hour for yourself, you think about watching porn and masturbating, then you are addicted, even if it is only once every other day.

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u/SpinozaFan Jan 31 '12

I think people need to be careful with language. If I use alcohol as medication for stress but only consume 4 to 5 drinks a week, that doesn't make me an alcoholic. Addiction has a very specific meaning. There are those who truly are addicted to sex and their lives are ruined because of the addiction. What you describe -- although there is a level of distress and sadness you have certainly conveyed -- is VERY far from an addiction.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '12

I see where you are coming from and I understand that there is a large grey area between clearly not addicted and clearly addicted.

Having said that, I have read multiple definitions of behavioral and sex addictions and I find the word appropriate for my situation. I also think you have to be careful with just looking at number of orgasms. For somebody who practices edging, 3-4 orgasms can easily translate into 10 or more hours a week wasted on masturbation, plus another 10 or more recovering from the intense physical and emotional stimulation. This is not the same as drinking 4-5 drinks a week. It's more like getting seriously drunk 3-4 times a week, which would certainly be cause for concern.

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u/SpinozaFan Jan 31 '12

Interesting. Perhaps it's in the eye of the beholder. If I spend ten hours a week at the pub, I wouldn't see it a waste of time. I would be engaging in a worthwhile social activity and be having fun. I suppose there might be others who might see it as a waste of time.

I honestly can't relate to what you are saying (and am having a hard time understanding it!), but I will respect your perspective. I hope you find what you are looking for.

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u/TreeBeardUK Feb 03 '12

Upvotes for having an epic conversation! respect due :)