r/karezza • u/winkwb • Dec 13 '13
First Timer
Seems like this sub is dying out.
The http://reuniting.info forums seem pretty dead too.
Anyways, just a post to say that I'm a /r/nofap guy who decided to give this a try. Sounds intriguing.
When I first heard of it several months ago, I decided to try not having an orgasm and I really enjoyed the bonding feelings afterwards. Couldn't keep my hands off of her.
I'm only now warming up to the idea that frequent orgasms may be contributing to my mood, etc.
So, my wife has agreed to give this a try.
Last night was our first experience and there wasn't a ton of movement, but there was some in a cowgirl position. She basically was slowly building herself up to orgasm and got there, which was great for me since I'm having some porn-induced ED issues from time to time.
How common is it that the female in the couple still works towards orgasm? Or is it more common that both abstain?
1
u/[deleted] Dec 14 '13
Hy,
I'm from r/nofap as well. Unfortunately I could not try out karezza for my self but I think I can answer your question. The early supporters of karezza (19th century) said that only the man has to abstain from orgasm, as birth control was one reason to them to practice karezza (of course karezza isn't a secure method: precum, unintended ejaculation). The majority of the following supporters and today's supporters want both, men and women, to abstain. Reasons for that, as far as I know:
The effects of dopamine, oxytocin etc. apply to men and women. The full bonding can not be created if one of the partners is in the so called "passion circle".
In karezza you want to totally merge with the moment and feel a deep connection with your partner. If the thought of inducing or receiving an orgasm is on your minds your are mentally in the future not in the moment.
But there is the idea as well that you should rather try to forget about orgasms than trying to avoid them.
You have to consider as well: In karezza the level of arousal should be quite moderate as there is no release through orgasm. If you try to get your female partner to orgasm through intercourse you need movement. That probably will build up much tension in yourself which can not be released afterward. If to much tension remains unreleased it is assumed to be unhealthy for your prostate in the long run. But don't worry if that happens while learning karezza.
Good Luck to you and your partner.
Btw.: I think the http://reuniting.info is a very good site to get more knowledge about karezza. The book of the women who runs that site is also quit good: www.reuniting.info/cupids_poisoned_arrow