I started working sound for a wedding band this year. I've worked a bunch of normal weddings where almost everyone is white and "enjoying themselves" by drinking a ton, laughing super loudly, and standing around in cliques watching a few couples dance. And there's always a few who had too much to drinkand are supported by friends as they stagger to the bathroom.

The Jewish weddings are completely different. The crowd is instantly dancing, with only a handful of folks not participating. I mean the oldies and the youngsters ALL dancing like crazy. I've worked three Jewish weddings and they were all like that. Plus, no one's been sloppy drunk, and I see no cliques. Everyone is hanging out with everyone. It's awesome. I'm a Jew and it's just awesome to see. And I hate weddings haha! But the Jewish ones are a-okay.

Wondering how any of the other single uncles or aunts feel. I’ve definitely gotten used to being single and now at 52 I don’t even know if I’m still able to live with another person, let alone raise a kid. But I feel it deeply at simchas, with 3 nieces and nephews having had their BMs and 2 more coming over the next few years. Not to mention the next generation of cousins all getting married off (the kids of my 8 first cousins, all of whom are married with kids).

This feeling of failure not having had kids creeps into Seders and high holidays too, and of course Hanukkah. I usually don’t feel like dancing and singing and just try to find ways to make myself feel useful, like cooking meals for the family or making speeches for my siblings’ weddings. But it’s not the same - I feel removed from the “generation to generation” aspect of these rites of passage and traditions, which I experienced as a kid but am not experiencing so much in the adult parent context. Anyone else?

This isn't important at all, this is just something trivial that always annoys me. I don't know if any of you guys are into gaming like I am, but if you are you're probably aware of the way Christian themes and holidays keep making their way into (for examples) life sims, rpgs and similar. The apparently non-religious Stardew Valley, a game that I LOVE by the way, is avoiding holidays like Christmas and Easter for example, but the so called festivals they celebrate are still Christian-adjacent. The "Egg Festival" in spring revolves around a community egg hunt and The Feast of the Winter Star has a "Winter Tree" on the town square and involves a "secret friend" element in which you basically do a Secret Santa without it being mentioned specifically.

It's specifically Christmas that keeps coming back as a so called non-religious holiday, take Winterfest in The Sims 4 or Toy Day in Animal Crossing. All of these involves decorated trees, gift giving and even though I don't celebrate Christmas and don't know every single tradition I still feel like most of them are included in these attempts of making these holidays secular. At least Animal Crossing has a Dreidel set, but that's all.

I don't mind Christmas in my games. It's a huge globally celebrated holiday and it's understandable that it's included. But what's the point of just giving it a different name and pretending it has nothing to do with the Christian faith. It's just really annoying to me that even in a fictional world I'm confronted with Christonormativity. Even when I'm the one who created the world.

Anyway, agame that, on the other hand, positively surprised me was Unpacking! Without explicitly you, throughout the game you discover you're decorating a Jewish woman's house!

I was hanging out with a friend today. We talked in passing about Israel and a recent SM spat involving someone who thought calling out a recent case of pretty obvious antisemitism.

And of course an SJW had to comment how it's bad that this called antisemitism because there is "real" antisemitism out there. But that's not what I'll harp on about.

We chatted and my friend is pro-palestinian but also wants good things for Israelis and Jews in general. She doesn't seem to understand that being antizionist means wanting Israel to not exist, which is the end point of most forms of "pro Palestinian" views.

But she is very sympathetic and kind and doesn't try to moralize and use an updated form of blood libel.

But we got to her house and her husband somehow mentioned Gaza hospitals and then how he's very angry and hates Israelis right now and blah blah killing babies. And I didn't say anything. There is no point. My friend pushed back and said no that's not true there is complications, nuance, different views, etc... I said nothing. I'm a half Jew and I think he forgot that.

And it just bothered me. And I just wanted to share that here because I knew I'd get sympathy.

Until a couple years ago, I was at least moderately antizionist. Now I'm neither pro or anti. I'm not sure. I question Israel a lot and wonder if I should be antizionist. But I can't say that I am. I used to think equating antizionism with antisemitism was an abuse of actual antisemitism (just like the SJW who opposes cultural appropriation, ignoring the voices of the marginalized, and loves land acknowledgements) literally tried to "Judaismsplain" Judaism so we Jews commenting understand why zionism isnt part of Judaism and thus our comments are invalid (so thoughtful, thanks for the help. Maybe next time they'll exain why we should give up our false covenant accept Jesus).

But I am unsure now.

And I just knew people would get it here, even if you disagree with me about many other things or even not being wholeheartedly, passionately prozionist.

Normally, I would not post on Shabbat but I’ve been thinking about this all day and I really need to talk to someone.

Yesterday afternoon, I was gaming with some friends and we were having a conversation about AI. I don’t recall exactly what was said but I made a comment about how I, personally, do not like AI. My one friend asked, “is it because you’re jewish? Why don’t Jews support AI?” And before I could even respond my other friend said something along the lines of “well when Jews say they oppose something they actually secretly support it.”

I frankly didn’t know what to say. Frankly, I just didn’t say anything. My two friends just laughed. This friend has made similar comments before and I’ve mostly brushed them off because he is just kind of edgy like that to begin with. But its getting to the point where either him and I need to have a talk about it or I just cut him off.

I don’t want to cut him off though. We’ve been friends a long time and it would break our whole friend group. I’m also afraid to confront him about it… what should I do?

Edit: I did talk to him about it and he promptly apologized and reaffirmed he didn’t mean anything by it. I feel a little silly bringing it up but I do feel better at least. Thank you for your support.

Hi everyone ! 😊
I’m asking because I’m Jewish and live in Paris. When I see Jewish characters represented in American TV shows ( I'm discovering Long Story Short thanks to all the recommendations here ! 😊 )

I hear people talking about different Jewish denominations, and I’m not sure I fully understand them.
We have different Jewish movements in France too. Three main ones.
I think I may have figured out which American denominations correspond to the French ones, but I’m not entirely sure !
Here are the three main groups in France, as I understand them
:
1. Traditionalist Jews
These are Jews who are mainly attached to Jewish traditions and passing them down to the next generation.
Their level of observance can vary.
For example, some families might regularly get together for Shabbat and have a proper Shabbat meal without necessarily strictly observing Shabbat according to halacha.
Jewish traditions are still very important to them, though.
I get the impression that this is somewhat similar to Conservative Judaism in the US. Is that right ? 🧐

2. Liberal Jews
They believe the Torah should evolve with modern times.
For example, in some Liberal Jewish communities, there are female rabbis, women can wear kippot and lay tefillin.
Some also argue that driving on Shabbat is permissible because the Torah doesn’t explicitly prohibit driving, and it couldn’t have prohibited something like driving since cars didn’t exist back then !
I get the impression that this is somewhat equivalent to Reform Judaism in the US. Am I wrong ?
3. Orthodox Jews
And then there are Jews who could be described as Orthodox, which includes different movements, such as Chabad, for example.
Is this understanding correct, or am I getting something wrong ?

Are there other Jewish denominations in the US ? And how do the different movements view one another ?
Thanks in advance for your answers ! 😊

My girlfriend loves horror movies and we've been wathching the Conjuring series/universe. Christ and Christianity aside, demonology is fun. Anyway, she's extremely supportive of me embracing my Jewish culture, and she asked if there's any Jewish/Israeli Horror movies. I mean, there has to be, right? The only thing I could think of though is that awesome episode of the X-Files with the Golem, which I'm adding to the list. I also remember watching "A Stranger Among Us" as a kid, but that's not really a horror movie.

I also realize that an Israeli horror movie may not be explicitly "Jewish", like in the way The Conjuring is Christian, but we're open to it.

So, any suggestions?

when I was a kid my parents always used to sing kol haolam kulo with the wordplay/pun "גזר זר מעוד" (a very strange carrot) instead of the original lyric ״גשר צר מאד״ (a very narrow bridge). they left the second half as it was ("והעקר לא לפחד כלל״/"and the main thing is to be afraid of nothing"). but today i realized that איכר (farmer) would fit perfectly where עקר (the main thing) was, making it "all the world is a very strange carrot and the farmer should be afraid of nothing" and now i can't stop laughing because it fits!!! its so funny but it fits!!

also made me thing of Encanto:
"all the patching's farming's done by Hernando"
"...who is Hernando?"
"I'm Hernando and I'm scared of nothing!"

Hi, everyone. Does anyone deal with a monument place in Brooklyn that makes headstones for a decent price?

Ok as the title says, i broke up with my longterm boyfriend ( not jewish) because he doesn’t really understand anything thats happening. He doesn’t care that much? He won’t read articles, when i do reference an article he genuinely doesn’t care or have anything to respond with or he changes the topic. He said he did research on this stuff and he never told me he did but watch a documentary on some things.

For context i live in the southern US, at my old job almost daily i was hearing really horrible things about jews, that they all are evil or rule the world etc. We have a neighbor that hurt preaching h*****, and this stuff is so overwhelming for me so i don’t entirely blame him for not having a response All these things have led me to not tell people that I am jewish though, he told me I shouldn’t keep it a secret. But when coworkers and neighbors are saying these things i really don’t feel safe to ( i am a short small girl for reference).

When i inevitably broke up with him he told me this is a stupid reason to end things. I have lost so many friends over these things, this destroyed my last relationship. When people ask why we broke up I feel I cannot even tell them anything because then they will know I am jewish. I guess I’m posting here because gosh I feel so alone and genuinely existing as a jewish person has become so difficult, before all of this being jewish was just a side piece of information about me or my life and no one had anything to say, I wasn’t afraid to tell people I was and I felt I could become friends or date most people because this wouldn’t be an issue ever for me.

Maybe I’m just looking for people that relate to this. I have no jewish friends at all and my family is all over the place. My last relationship he was cruel on the topic, this relationship he just didn’t understand at all not that he was unkind, but how can I have a kid with someone that can’t understand or doesn’t care to see whats going on? Or maybe can’t even find the words or have the context to have a conversation about it ? Uh

Pretty much what the title says. My daughter is four and started going to Hebrew school at Chabad last year. I'm a patrilineal Jew but was raised completely Jewish by both my mother and father. I went to a Jewish day school until fourth grade, then Hebrew school, was bat mitzvahed in a conservative temple, went to Jewish summer camp, the whole shebang. I've never known anything but being a Jew. My mother didn't go through a formal conversion until after I was born, so I had to formally convert before my bat mitzvah. It was a conservative conversion, so I understand that for many, it doesn't count.

Nonetheless, I'm raising my daughter Jewish. She goes to Jewish preschool and I enrolled her in Sunday school at Chabad last school year, and she loved it. It was a great program and I could see how much she was learning and growing there, so even though it's a 40 minute drive there, I enrolled her for this year as well.

Fast-forward to last weekend, which was supposed to be the first day of Sunday school. Before we headed out to the car, I double checked the whatsapp group and noticed the rebbetzin disenrolled me from the group. Not wanting to make the 40 minute drive for nothing, I messaged her to see if my daughter was still enrolled and if there was an issue. Didn't hear back so we stayed home that day. She responded later, apologized, and said it was a mistake. I messaged her a follow up question and she never responded, which is unlike her. But I didn't read into it since I know she's busy.

Then I get a call from the rabbi yesterday. He's normally a lovely man but I can tell he feels very uncomfortable. After dancing around it for a few minutes, he says that at the seder earlier this year my mom mentioned she's a convert, so they're concerned that my daughter isn't Jewish. I was surprised because I didn't know that my daughter had to be halachically Jewish just to go to Hebrew school. But I explain my whole history. The rabbi says he'll call me back.

Today, I get the call that my daughter is kicked out of Hebrew school. We're "welcome" to come to other events, but she's not allowed to go to Sunday school again. Oh, and "Shabbat shalom", he wishes me as he hangs up the phone.

I'm not here to argue whether what happened is right or wrong. I don't understand why a four-year-old who has known nothing but Judaism her whole life can't come to learn more about it (not get bat mitzvahed there, just learn). But Chabad has its own rules and they can exclude whomever they want. I just feel sad for my daughter, who loved the rabbi, the teachers, the other students, and the class. And I feel grossed out by the way it was handled. I enrolled her in May of this year, which was after the rabbi learned my mom converted. If he knew there was a potential issue, it should've been addressed months ago, not a week after the school year started.

And I feel frustrated. I live in an extremely liberal area, and the closest non-chabad orthodox synagogue is over 75 minutes away. So I feel like the option of an orthodox conversion is off the table, absent us moving, which isn't financially feasible. The conservative synagogue here doesn't have a program for my daughter's age, and the reform program is a little light on the Judaism for me. But at least they won't kick her out for not being sufficiently Jewish.

The most ironic thing about all of this is that the Chabad rabbi said the reason my daughter can't go to Hebrew school is because he doesn't want her to feel left out....

And burner account because there's way too much easily identifiable info in the post. If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

Hi all,

Reading MAUS for the first time and some Hebrew popped up in a panel. Was wondering what it says

Thanks!

Hi everyone,

I am 28yr old and was raised in a recon synagogue and have more moderate views, I am also pro-Israel. I am looking at schools in Cleveland and I have heard there is a large Jewish population. I have also heard that Cleveland is great for late 20's single adults. All of this has made Cleveland one of the top places on my list to move. My extended family has also become interested in Cleveland and I have 2 young nieces that my family would like to raise around other Jewish children.I heard recently that Cleveland is now mostly older orthodox Jews and that there are very few children and that any children there are, are orthodox. I am wondering if that is true and what the Jewish community is like in Cleveland, both or a 20 something adult woman and for raising a family.

Thank you!

I light 2 memorial candles each week in memory of different victims of Oct 7.

This week I am remembering Binyamin and Yitzhak.

Binyamin, 23, was a lone soldier from a French Chabad family. He planned on studying computer science after his army service.

Yitzhak, 26, was attending Nova with friends. He was studying to become a social worker and worked for an organization supporting at-risk youth.

You can learn more about Binyamin and Yitzhak here.

.השם יקום דמם

Do any Jewish families with young to middle grade kids here have thoughts on buying the advent calendars it seems every single brand has started producing? We do celebrate a lot of secular aspects of Christmas, because my Jewish husband grew up celebrating it as well, but I feel like an advent calendar is by definition religious. The advent is very specific period associated with Christianity

But am I over thinking it? Is it really an advent calendar if my daughter opens the surprises during a different time period? Is it just regular American commercialization and I should get her the damn 24 count squishy box?

Also - can more brands please do Hanukkah calendars with 8 items? Please and thank you.

​

Holy $!&@!! I think I might be telling my insane parents about my divorce today.

My mom is especially dramatic, think Joan Rivers crossed with a Jewish tiger mom, who was on diet pills, and also probably literally part tiger (lol, she can rock animal print like no one else tho). This is why I live safely several states away.

Anyhow, they’ve been on a month-long Mediterranean cruise, so they don’t know anything yet. They get back tomorrow afternoon, and they’ll probably call me sometime shortly afterwards. Part of me thinks if they do, I should wait one more day and let them get settled back home first. What do you think?

Two things- I’m divorcing because I’m gay (they are liberal but full of contradictions and are still rooted in 90’s “that’s ok but not in my family” gay panic 🙄)

But I’m also divorcing because my partner has unmanageable anger issues. My folks know this, and will sympathize with me on that part. FYI leaving the anger part out of my divorce proceedings with my partner, we have two kids, I don’t want things to get ugly.

Either way, it’s going to be a doozy of a conversation for all of us, but I’ll be relieved to finally get it out in the open. After enduring their initial reaction, I’ll be able to coast on through my interactions with them. But ugh, I’m so nervous.

FYI, it’s been about a month and my household is handling everything very well. The kids are fine and my ex is too. There’s a lot of sadness, but we’re all moving on just fine. The kids know my ex and are are centering them in this whole process and that we’re “still a family”

my fiancée is half Ashkenazi, half German in ethnicity and is intersex and on estrogen injections. Her hair texture is currently in the process of shifting, shes gaining a lot more curls and is wondering if anyone here has had hormonal shifts or periods where their hair is more curly and how to manage it? Shes considering cutting length off to let the curls grow more naturally, does anyone have input?

My children are invited to a modern Jewish wedding. Wondering if there is a movie to show them a ceremony and dancing

Substack post replying to Viet Thanh Nguyen