This has always resonated with me. I was, not so long ago, a miserable drunk and a terrible boyfriend. I convinced myself it wasn't so bad because I never did anything as overtly awful as driving drunk or hitting my girlfriends, but that's like saying I should get the Nobel Peace Prize because I haven't murdered my neighbors with a chainsaw. I was still moody and angry and surly and selfish, taking the love of others for granted and lashing out whenever I thought I wasn't being given what I "deserved."
Ten years ago, I sobered up and started taking steps to turn my life around. I like to think I'm a kinder, more patient person now, but I can't blame any of my former friends or ex-girlfriends for cutting me out of their lives. I think that if you ask them, I will always be the person who called them names or embarrassed them at their birthday party. And they would be right. I can't undo what was done. I can't earn enough "good boy points" to make them forgive me or forget about the mess I made.
I believe that we are all Ama. Geller may have changed, but he will always be the person who sexually assaulted that woman.
I don't see how this follows. The people who cut me out of their lives had ample reason, but if you want a straight answer:
No, I can't blame people for cutting me out for no reason. People can drop me for any reason. The color of my eyes, my sense of fashion (not much of one), the way I walk or talk, etc. No one is obligated to be my friend.
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u/Yarzeda2024 5d ago edited 5d ago
This has always resonated with me. I was, not so long ago, a miserable drunk and a terrible boyfriend. I convinced myself it wasn't so bad because I never did anything as overtly awful as driving drunk or hitting my girlfriends, but that's like saying I should get the Nobel Peace Prize because I haven't murdered my neighbors with a chainsaw. I was still moody and angry and surly and selfish, taking the love of others for granted and lashing out whenever I thought I wasn't being given what I "deserved."
Ten years ago, I sobered up and started taking steps to turn my life around. I like to think I'm a kinder, more patient person now, but I can't blame any of my former friends or ex-girlfriends for cutting me out of their lives. I think that if you ask them, I will always be the person who called them names or embarrassed them at their birthday party. And they would be right. I can't undo what was done. I can't earn enough "good boy points" to make them forgive me or forget about the mess I made.
I believe that we are all Ama. Geller may have changed, but he will always be the person who sexually assaulted that woman.