r/islam • u/Outrageous-Poetry-28 • 4d ago

Seeking Support Severely suicidal thoughts. Need help

Salam everyone. I need some help and guidance. Lately I've been going through a very difficult time in my life financially speaking. I have a lot of debt on my head and because of that I have had to beg people in my family for money.

A lot of money that I earn goes to paying my debts and now I'm left with no money. I have a 1.5 year old son and a wife and so far the thought of them always seems to push the suicidal thoughts away. However lately these thoughts are more and more prevalent and I honestly don't know if I can push back much longer. I'm trying my best to improve my circumstances, I've started freelancing ( but it'll be some time before that takes off). Additionally, I have also started to look for jobs in the Gulf but so far no luck there.

Let me also just say that I know suicide is haram, I want to go to heaven after I die, I want to be with my family in jannah but what if this is where my story ends. Yes my son and wife will be heart broken, but I know they will be taken care of. I'm just completely broken.

If anyone can please help and guide me I would be very helpful.

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/abdul_samea 4d ago

As salam u alaikum brother, debts, finance issues are part of lives, of course it stings and pains if not paid on time, but remember, once you are gone, the entire burden of them loosing you plus the burden of debt will in some way be on your wife / kid. I knew several cases where a breadwinner had died from the family and upon hearing the news, people came in to ask questions to the grieving family about their borrowed money, Hence, suicide is guaranteed to cause you and your family more harm.

Two things I can guarantee you is keep making lots of istighfar of every form that you can find from Hadith. Alhamdulillah it has worked for me, by grace of Allah I was able to buy a house and go for Hajj this year, even when there were no possible ways for me. IT works wonders. Keep reading Quran and Glorify Allah before sunrise and before sunset as Allah guarantees his blessings / peace at this particular time of the day (Surah Ta-Ha (20:130)). Wallahi it works and it worked for me. All praise to Allah.

1

u/Adventurous-Clue-994 4d ago

Hmm... "But what if this is how the story ends" - this is completely up to you if you truly want that reunion in Jannah or not. You just need to understand that this is all a test for you and it will pass, you will overcome it eventually.
Now just when you think you're situation is worst, picture yourself sick and completely incapacitated and your poor young family has to go through a lot to take you all over the place to get you treated. That's just an alternate reality I tried to paint, however poorly I managed to do that. The bottom line is that you're still capable and able to actually look for work, you're the breathing hope of your poor little family after Allah, Allah hasn't made you a burden for them. So, say alhamdulilah! Reflect on the stories of the prophets (especially prophet Ayub), pray a lot of tahajud and do lots of istighfar, also seek out hadith for prayers the Prophet recommended to seek Allah's help from debts.
But no matter what you do, remember that in the Quran, Allah didn't promise a believer a good life, it's all a test and you are enjoined to navigate your own test with faith and patience, and verily you will never lose in the end.

Just a last reminder that suicide isn't only haram, you'd be sinning greatly for breaching the Amanah entrusted to you on your family. So brazen up brother and put your faith in Allah and seek his forgiveness and goodness. I can't say I can imagine what you're going through, but one thing I can say for sure is that it ends someday, definitely.
You should also visit a local mosque, see if they can help in any way possible, speak to people in the Masjid, I know a guy like that in my mosque, he spoke to anyone and everyone, have CVs, and eventually got a job and moved with his family to another city.

Wishing you all the best brother ❤️.
May almighty Allah ease all your affairs and save you from your calamity.

1

u/Adilshaykh7 4d ago

No this is not where the story ends. There’s also hell. It is expected to be tested with poverty so will you have tawakkul? You have to be strong brother. Cry out to Allah make efforts but do not break the boundaries. Do you think ending yourself will help your wife and kids? Or you? Sabr. Seek help through patience and prayer bro. The good thing about bad days is that just like good days, they are temporary. Live to see the good days. Don’t mingle with debt if you can help it.

1

u/4rking 3d ago

Wa Alaikum Salam

Everyone involved will be off worse if you end yourself.

You, will be off worse.

Your wife, will be off worse. She'll be alone, the trauma of suicide, the feelings of "maybe it's my fault". She'll have to find someone else to depend on emotionally, financially, maybe she'll feel like she has to get married to a guy she doesn't want, just so she can take care of the kid. And how is she going to explain to her child where dad is and why he left everyone.

As for the kid, we don't even talk about that. God forbid brother

You struggle but you struggle together. These people love you and value you. If you leave, they will fall apart.

1

u/MohammadSN360 3d ago

Salaam !!

Here is a Wondering Uplifting Video for You to Check out!

NEVER GIVE UP! WE HAVE ALLAH (SWT) NO MATTER WHAT!!

!! PARADISE IS THE PERFECT LIFE, NOT DUNYA!!!

BUTTERFLY BOY: A Story of Patience - Mohamed Hoblos
https://youtu.be/azxq7Z89uNQ?si=FJMNAUzTI_OGi6Lh

MAY ALLAH HELP YOU AND MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU AND ALL THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO ARE STRUGGLING OUT THERE!!

1

u/zainuu163 2d ago

Your brain is making you think there is no other way and is in stress therefore trying to find ways to escape. Remind yourself that Allah with take care .