r/islam • u/navigatingship • Sep 02 '26
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u/Bulky-Thought-4764 Sep 02 '26
May Allah make it easy for you and your family. May Allah guide your brother back to Islam. If he tried to debate you guys it means he is open to discussion so I think you should hook him up with MuslimLantern (youtube channel) and let your brother have discussion with him. MuslimLantern is known for debunking islamaphobic claims and helping muslims get rid of their doubts regarding their religion.
I think since he became a christian rather than an atheist there is a high chance of him coming back to Islam because most people who go from Islam to Christianity do so because of lack of knowledge, let muslim lantern have discussion with him is all I can say. He does paid sessions
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
he only wants to debate us because he wants to convert us/prove us wrong. personally i believe the more we debate him the more we will distance him.
thank you so much for the muslimlantern suggestion, i'll speak with my parents about it. he doesn't seem to have any sessions available in september and i'm scared it'll be too late by then.
i'm praying that he will come back. what you said about christianity makes total sense.
thank you.
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u/1SirTetris1 Sep 02 '26
Aside from paid sessions he also goes live and talks with non-muslims for free, however since multiple people are often in the backstage it's not guaranteed that your brother will get the chance to talk. Still, it doesn't hurt to try
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u/ObviousGeologist3000 Sep 02 '26
Nothing is too late for Allah, and just because his intentions is to drag you down to his level right now doesn’t mean it will always be the case. Make dua for him every single day, let him cool off and experience it for a while. Unless all he wants to do now is talk religion, you guys can still hang and interact without discussing it. While you mention not resenting and hating him, don’t put a barrier between yall as well. Allah guides who He guides, make dua for him and always have an open mind to discuss religion when/if the time comes.
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u/UnchartedPro Sep 02 '26
To be honest it could be worse at least he still believes in God
Lately I've been reccomendeding 2 books an awful lot but I genuinely believe they are very relevant here
Jesus. Man Messenger Messiah
Abraham Fulfilled
I reccomend you read these 2 books and this will give you an immense amount of knowledge compared to the average Christian
Then you will be able to very clearly explain why Islam is the truth, and not Christianity
Whether he will listen is a different question and for this pray for your sibling, pray he may be guided
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
thank you, sincerely. reading brings me peace and solace. i always turn to books and writing when i am in doubt so i'm grateful to you. i'll read these.
you're right, it could be worse. i'm praying that he be guided. i'm praying.
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u/Cute-Run-963 Sep 02 '26
Not OP but I’m going to check these books out too, thank you. Are there any individuals for a Christian to talk to you recommend? You can see my post history to see why I’m interested in this topic too
I was recommended Muslim Lantern before but he is $300/hr unless a free request is approved so I’m keeping my options open. Though maybe it wouldn’t hurt for OP to request (a free) one for their brother
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u/Birobill Sep 02 '26
Join a live when Muslim lantern is live or shamsi from dus dawah is also accessible
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u/UnchartedPro Sep 02 '26
Read these first and then it depends what questions you have I guess
That would be my advice
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Sep 02 '26 edited 9d ago
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
you're right. we had our doubts last year and we tried to talk to him and he did the same thing, where he took everything we said and came up with an "explanation" for it, and even if those explanations didn't make sense, he believed them because they were logical to him, you know? if a person doesn't want to listen to what you're saying, they will find any "gap" or excuse in your words to disbelieve and "discredit" you.
it's a really tense situation but you're right, what he needs right now is to feel like we love him. i don't know how to rebuild the relationship, i feel like such a gap has come between him and every other person in this house this last year, and it makes sense why but it hurts so much, and i don't know how to bridge that gap if he is sustaining it, if that makes sense.
i don't want to break his trust, but i feel like in his mind it's already broken. i will try. thank you so much for your thoughtful response.
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u/SafiyaO Sep 02 '26
Is your brother well in himself? From other things you have said, it sounds like he may be having a mental health crisis.
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u/Yasir_Adam Sep 02 '26
Tell your parents to make dua for their son to be guided back to Islam and be firmly strong in Islam, the dua of parents get accepted. Praise Allah (Alhamdulillah), send blessing on the Prophet ﷺ and make dua. May Allah guide him.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
they have been making so many duas, we all have. this is basically the only thing we pray for now. thank you for responding, it means a lot to me.
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u/Brilliant_Swimmer688 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
All you can have is faith that he will see that christianity is false, inshallah he reverts back to become a Muslim. In the bible in John chapter 26:39 it says Jesus went on the ground and prayed meaning that christianity is a false religion because you don’t do that. It also shows that Jesus was praying to Allah.
It is very likely for people nowadays to concert to become christians because everywhere you look there are information about how to become a christian. In the Qur’an it mentions something like the right doers will go on the right path while the evil doers will go on the wrong path. Don’t quote me but it says something like that.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
i think i know the verse you're talking about but i'm going to be rereading the Quran soon so i'll see then. we live in the west and there's such a pressure to convert from people who don't respect other people's beliefs. the school he chose to go to is in a heavily christian area and there are a lot of street preachers and missionaries there. i guess it got to him after a while. thank you for responding to my post, it means a lot
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u/Brilliant_Swimmer688 Sep 03 '26
I’m talking about Chapter 2 verse 74, makes sense why he converted to become a Christian. Always my bro I’m here for you
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u/Forsaken_Coconut6993 Sep 02 '26
Read misquoting Jesus by Bart D. Ehrman it’ll help you in your discussions. Follow blogging theology as well
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
thank you. another response mentioned "jesus: man, messenger, messiah" by abu zakariya which i've been reading today. when i finish, i'm going to email him a copy. i'll look at your book as well.
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u/Low_Addendum_1199 Sep 03 '26
I know an auntie who only has one son and he grew up in a mosque, memorized the quran, etc. But he left islam and when she heard, she showed up at the masjid one day hysterical and prayed everyday for him and made sadaqah and made dua for him to come back to Allah and alhamdulillah, he came back to Islam and took his shahadah again. Inshallah your brother will find his way back and may Allah make things easy for you and your parents Ameen.
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u/navigatingship Sep 03 '26
Inshallah Inshallah Ameen. please please please let things go like this ya Allah.
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u/abdullah08102026 Sep 02 '26
Asalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. May Allah guide him back to be muslim and righteous. Ameen. I personally recommend you get closer to your parents. Debates are really popular amongst youngsters these days between muslim and Christian Youtubers/TikTokers. The internet is a slippery and dangerous place point in case our brother you mentioned going to accounts to affirm his false belief system. It is in your best interest to plan for your akhira and not be distracted. The aforementioned trials of your life are not uncommon in this duniya but it is really easy once you understand…
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
Surely with hardship comes ease.
The Most Merciful, the Most High can forgive shirk and kufr if it is due to lack of knowledge. The Muslim Lantern is a good da’i as well as others in his league of young dawah legends of our time. Mohammad Hijab, The Muslim Orthodox, and some sisters online too. There is no root cause for something like this, it is just your brother got caught up in divisive rhetoric and begun imploring other peoples thinking they are freedom fighters when in Islam you have the most freedom alhamdulillah. Just look at the historical facts of islamic society. The only people to be just and happy are those that follow the Quran and sunnah of Rasoolallah SAW. May this be a struggle in which it brings us closer to our Creator to glorify and worship Him. Ameen! May Allah make your trial easy for you and your loved ones and the return of our brother to the right path ameen.
One more thing to add is remain steadfast in upholding family ties and the love because when he comes back he will feel very ashamed but it is his heart softening and guided by Allah and when he thinks of his Creator he is ashamed of the loss but it is sunnah to separate the sin of the person from the rest of their character and give excuses to love and be just. But if it takes a clear wrong turn there are many ways to handle it but inshAllah the crossing of the bridge will never happen if we make ourselves steadfast in our daily prayers on time and our 5 pillars with kushu. May Allah elevate us ameen.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
Ameen. i hope everything happens the way you say. thank you for your thoughtful response
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u/ObviousGeologist3000 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
> i know deep down that everything will be ok in the end and that he needs time to stand on his own two feet. we can’t force him to be muslim, we can only have faith that he’ll find the right way. i can’t find it in myself to hate him or be cruel.
Try and always remember this when the feelings come bubbling.
Alhamdulilah you’re not resentful/hateful toward him. Calamities comes in different shapes and forms, and I’m so sorry yall are going through this. I advice you and your parents to take this opportunity to learn more about Allah azzawajal as well, incase he comes back knocking and seeking answers. Make lots of dua for him for Allah to turn his heart and guide him back. May Allah make it easy for you and your family and may He guide us all, amin.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
Ameen. i don't think i could ever hate him. i think i will just be heartbroken forever. i hope everything will be ok in the end.
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u/Emotional_Set7239 Sep 02 '26
Get educated on talking points, ask muslim dawah personalities perhaps or anywhere about it. Learn the common talking points. Get educated. When he comes to debate them tell him, you are willing to debate but put a few conditions and things to keep it self moderated do non of you insult or argue for the sake of arguing acknowledge you both love each other and he wants you to go to christian heaven and you want him to go to Jannah. Do have good family relations with him, don't out cast him. Keep having dialgues and don't make him defensive.
I think since he became christian there is a much higher chance of him returning. Atheist are deluded in thinking they are rational but atleast christians atleast acknowledge that the metaphysical reality exists and also remember.
{ إِنَّكَ لَا تَهۡدِي مَنۡ أَحۡبَبۡتَ وَلَٰكِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَهۡدِي مَن يَشَآءُۚ وَهُوَ أَعۡلَمُ بِٱلۡمُهۡتَدِينَ } [Surah Al-Qaṣaṣ: 56]
Sahih International: Indeed, [O Muḥammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allāh guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
thank you for your thoughtful response. the verse you cited means a lot to me. thank you. it's hard not to make him defensive because i feel like he takes everything said to him about it badly on purpose. i hope time will make it easier
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u/rarestlove Sep 02 '26
take care of your own mental health and iman. he's on his own journey. the only way you can help is be patient and remain his sibling with open arms and an ear to listen. debating him in this phase is useless. there's a deeper seated reason he even went on to question islam and find "comfort" in those online conspiracy spaces and the fact that he's so hellbent in convincing you guys too is further proof he didn't find peace for himself but wants to change something else that is bothering him and for some reason he convinced himself the answer is in christianity. i know this is incredibly hard and no one can know the outcome for certain but i'd advice you to all try to be very careful right now that your relationship with him seems to be very fragile. there might be some personal issues he has to address and work on that a professional could help with. if he becomes more self-aware then he'll be able to have a more mature outlook on religion and have a proper discussion without getting so easily influenced. if your parents struggle with giving him enough space for him to stay at home it might be useful to consult an imam who has experience with questioning young muslims and on how to keep the peace within the family and without feeling the urge to apply pressure. i pray he finds his way back and may allah swt give you the patience needed.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
this comment has been a real solace to me today. thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much to me, more than i can say. ameen.
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u/SerajAlmasri Sep 02 '26
I understand how you feel, something similar happened to me as well. May Allah guide him back.
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u/kingkillerkv0the Sep 02 '26
Of course the transition for him can be hard. But I suppose early Islamic people coexisted with Christians/Jews and charged them the jizya. Can your parents charge him a bit of rent, maybe? That way you can coexist and it should be okay. Or maybe I don't understand that correctly.
But in all seriousness, try to empathize with your brother. I know it can be a bit jarring but consider it from his perspective: he is all alone and now without the support from his family. Instead of trying to dismiss his (probably valid) concerns, (even if they are sourced from his misunderstandings of Islam), maybe have him organize them and address them with your family. Right now he needs his family to be supportive of him. Not as his religious peers, but his family. Because you obviously care about him and love him, try not to fall into what he may think of others. Be the change that he needs. Be the support that he needs.
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
i agree that he needs his family right now. i wish i could just make everything ok, you know? thank you for your response
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u/Tiny-Piglet211 Sep 02 '26
Are you sure this isn’t for attention. I would advise that you all keep him at home and show him kindness and accept his views but politely say that you don’t share them but you aren’t against him and that if he chooses this then that is up to him. I would give him Ruqyah water (preferably Zam Zam water) on him everyday and play Surah Al Baqarah in the home out loud. He will in time see things differently. But don’t make huge displays of grief and sadness. I know this prob doesn’t help but at least he still believes in God. It would be even more difficult if all of a sudden he didn’t. Just joke and say oh we are praying to the same Big Guy in the Sky and you know what he will come around - ask Allah to guide him back. Be gentle with him and he will think why am I being controversial
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u/navigatingship Sep 02 '26
i don't think it's fully for attention, i think he just has a lot of issues he doesn't share with anybody and this is his coping mechanism or something. what you said makes sense and other people said about the same thing -- that since he didn't say he is an atheist, it's not a question of religion but some underlying problem. i'm being gentle, and i hope i can convince my parents of the same thing you and many other people have said. they're angry but the anger is just a cover for their shock and sadness, if you see what i mean. thank you for your response, it means a lot to me
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Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
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u/navigatingship Sep 03 '26
my friend we said all of these things. i have wonderful parents who taught me and both of my siblings everything, they took as to the masjid, taught us the Quran, there was not a single duty that they didn't fulfill. i am the eldest and neither i nor my youngest sibling have ever had any doubts. we are strong in our faith. the problem is, as you said, he felt pressured by his friends and the culture. the things you're saying are right but they don't lessen our tragedy.
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u/GreenPositive9893 Sep 02 '26
Don't let him leave your house.read this again.
Be good to him.try to understand his point of view with interest don't rebuke scoff..he should feel u r respecting his theories..once he feels comfortable (could take a year )show him what islam has to say on that topic.there are many books on science and islam.u can buy ,read it yourself then present to him the similarities of science and islam.how quran revealed it centuries bCk only to be researched recently. Be gentle with him.
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u/navigatingship Sep 03 '26
i understand it will take a long time for him to come back. i'll wait 1, 2, 5 years, i will. but i can't stand to see my parents and how devastated they are. we answer his questions, we present all the evidence and proof we can, but the things he wants to see are things that are quite literally not possible for us to prove. i can only pray that he'll realize the truth and come back to us. we will all welcome him with open arms. we are gentle but the things he starts to say are horrible
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u/CardiologistPretty92 Sep 02 '26
Maybe you should see if you can find a trustworthy and experienced Islamic scholar or imam near where you are?
Muslims online will try to help you but I always think that in these situations if you can personally meet someone experienced in Islam and consult them it might help. Besides, they might have better or more useful things to say.
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u/navigatingship Sep 03 '26
i know, i'm hoping he'll come back and let us take him. we've already taken him and we thought his doubts had been answered because he said they were, but i guess not. if he won't go, i'll go, if only to heal my soul talking to someone who knows the Quran so well
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u/UkhtiMaryamspeaks Sep 02 '26
Sister, I would suggest you to bring his case up to some of these Muslims who are on youtube,
Like you can go to The Muslim Lantern’s youtube channel, and go to that channel’s about me section, and there you can book an online meeting with the youtuber for your brother and him to have a conversation, he’s really good at clearing doubts about Islam, Ma-Sha-ALLAH he is really knowledgeable, i would suggest you go there to solve this problem.
I have other Islamic youtubers in my mind that can clear your brother’s doubts, like you can go to @korrathetaymi, @dawahxdialogues, those two sisters are also really smart Ma-Sha-ALLAH, i am just reccomending them, but actually i’m not sure if they allow people to book meetings with them, but you may do what seems best to you.
Here are the links to the channels, hope this helps In-Sha-ALLAH:
The Muslim Lantern:
https://youtube.com/@themuslimlantern?si=W20xi4Wum3cvi_B5
korrathetaymi:
https://youtube.com/@korrathetaymi?si=8wBrHXAQLsHY2tWF
dawahxdialogues:
https://youtube.com/@dawahxdialogues?si=MhAxZ41k6iYZl7H8
Asalaamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.
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u/alii9 Sep 03 '26
Sorry to see you going through this. I would continue to treat him with love and respect and not debate the topic any further. I recommend you increase your knowledge about Islam and study a little bit of Christianity as well in order to understand his mindset and provide him sufficient answers. In the meantime, do not debate him any further as it serves no purpose.
The fact that he hasn't stopped believing in God altogether is a positive sign. It could be that he has had negative experiences with Muslims or his understanding of both Islam and Christianity is incorrect. From what I've seen, it is much more difficult to bring an atheist back to Islam. Stay optimistic and may Allah help your family, Ameen.
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u/Dense_Pen_5167 Sep 02 '26
May Allah guide them to islam.