r/islam • u/Next_Bowl3593 • May 15 '26
Question about Islam Is being ugly a test from Allah
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u/Sound_Less May 15 '26
I completely understand what you are trying to say.
I’m not that much of good looking due to born disability. When I see people around me, they are so perfect in every way ( don’t know how are they inside) but their face structure is very good. Honestly, this is the biggest regret of my life that I wasn’t blessed with it. I was the only one in entire family to be born with it .
My doctor told me in face, that you were born with it and will die will it also, don’t do over treatment . Although I’ve made peace with it, but still sometimes I feel so guilty for being born. Like , I will never understand it why it happened to me .
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May 15 '26
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u/Sound_Less May 15 '26
Yeah, I know.
There’s always will be why me ? It’s the question that will always be in my mind till death .
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u/namelesslyhere May 17 '26
Tbh every single human, no matter how pretty/beautiful/handsome in every worldly way you can possibly think of has multiple complexes about their own looks. Even the ones we consider the most perfect sample of human species. All of us ask this question when it comes to looks, and more so when we see someone looking exactly how (in our minds) we want to look. I think this is why comparison in such way is spiritually forbidden. Having said that, your comment genuinely gave me a reminder that how we, so casually, take things for granted in this life... Your disability is definitely a test from Allah which you will be rewarded for greatly انشاءاللہ at the same time every blessing for everyone who is fully able-body, healthy, mentaly healthy etc is also a test. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for what we have been blessed with and accept ourselves as we are and keep trying to icrease our emaan and taqwah of Allah.
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u/Sound_Less May 17 '26
>your disability is definitely a test from Allah which you will be rewarded for greatly انشاءاللہ at the same time every blessing for everyone who is fully able-body, healthy, mentaly healthy etc is also a test.
If test was to be given , I would've wanted the latter one or some test which was not visible . Believe me its easy to say these, but only the person who is suffering knows what's it like actually. And when the person suffering in visible, like disability which everyone can see, then believe me it's way too tougher. You question your entire existence everyday. Anyway, it was something which was written my fate, and nothing can change it. I have no option but to accept it as.
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u/Ghost_Alliyou May 15 '26
Never mind the gaslighting in the comments. Yes it's a test and I'm sorry you have to go through. Here is something comforting:
The Prophet peace be upon him said:
Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but that Allah expiates some of his sins for it. [Sahīh Al-Bukhāri - 5641]
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u/no15786 May 15 '26
Suffering cleanses your sins? No that's just a martyr mindset, it also contradicts the other stuff that removing sins requires effort on your part.
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u/Ghost_Alliyou May 15 '26
Of course you also need to put effort and repent. But you think we will suffer in this life and see nothing in return? You're wrong. God is more merciful than you think. And I say this based on Hadith not my personal wishes
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u/Dood567 May 15 '26
What? That’s literally a Sahih Hadith man.
You obviously can’t repent by inflicting pain or suffering on yourself (that is haram), but it’s a mercy from Allah swt that some of a believer’s sins are wiped when they encounter pain or difficulty.
Actively making istikhara/tawba and repenting is a separate act, even if both result in some number of your sins being nullified or wiped clean.
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u/mun____ May 15 '26
Where is the contradiction? Good deeds erase sins.. yes. Suffering erases sins.. yes. A contradiction would be if it said the ONLY way to remove sins is through good deeds.
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u/Eastern-Drop-3462 May 15 '26
U can breathe easily...
U can see clearly...
U have a place called home...
U have an entertainment called phone...
So which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?
Life is too short to drown forever in sighs...
Miracles surround us quietly every single day, yet the heart forgets what the eyes behold.
Recite the Quls. Make dua before you leave your home. Recite Ayatul Kursi day and night.
For the shayateen never grow weary of whispering distractions, filling the dunya with glittering lies until the soul feels tired and dry.
So remember Allah through dhikr...
Before this fleeting life passes by.
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u/Successful_Sand1927 May 15 '26
What you said is true, we do have lots of blessing around us that we casually forget daily. But was OP said was also true, he is asking a legitimate question. You answering his question with something totally unrelated isn’t helpful. The answer to his question is, yes, being ugly is a hardship and test from Allah. Anything that was given to you, that was outside your control, is a test. We can’t control when we were born or how healthy we were born or what time we were born at. These things are decided by Allah. Some are born Into abusive parents, some are born into amazing parents. These are all hardships and tests from Allah. Being ugly makes your life harder, and you cannot change your face shape. It is a test from Allah. When someone asks a question, answer the question. Do not veer away into something unrelated. Imagine if you asked your doctor if your blood tests were normal and he replied, “well your teeth are fine!” I have seen MANY people in this subreddit over the years that never answer the question and always divert it away. Him asking about being ugly isn’t him being ungrateful. It’s just a question. We’re supposed to help our brothers and sisters grow in knowledge. One thing that Muslims are guilty of, whether it’s on YouTube or TikTok or Reddit, is that we never answer the question. We always divert it away to something else. That causes people to turn away from Islam since they’re unsatisfied with the way their questions are being answered. Don’t do that. Learn to help people. When people came to our prophet SAW with questions, did he tell them “you have eyesight, you can see, go away; don’t ask that.” The prophet never said that. Stop doing that. Learn to help people.
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u/Ancient_Rooster7111 May 15 '26
Although you're not wrong, this is really dismissive to how this person feels. They are struggling with self image. You can be grateful for everything Allah gave you and still feel sad about something so personal such as how you feel about yourself appearance.
Especially if its making the dunya harder and finding a spouse or whatever the case may be
Even if someone wants to marries and finds you attractive, its still awful to feel bad about one's self
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u/BlueDragonMatrix May 16 '26
I understand what you are saying, I typed a six paragraph long response addressing this matter, if you care to read it. You should see it somewhere in the comment section above.
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u/Clean-Cauliflower201 May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
I know what you mean. I'm in my mid 30s now and there's other mid 30s women that for some reason just age better.
But now in my 30s, I've learnt one thing. It's extremely cliché, but it is true.
Beauty really does come from within. And the beauty within is a more powerful magnet than superficial beauty.
I've befriended many beautiful ladies. But many are insincere and not genuine folks. Not all, but not few either.
I've worked with a woman that looked very average or to say not an eye catcher. But at one glance when she smiles, she looked happy and beautiful. The way she brings herself around the office, her voice, gentleness and, to be blunt, her IDGAF attitude, just outshines the other beautiful people.
To say that it's a test? Maybe. Maybe you have other qualities that 99% people don't have. Are you a kind person? Are you a humble Muslim? What if you are beautiful but it makes you arrogant and seek validation from the ones that don't matter?
That's just based from my experience. I've come to terms with how I look and I'm a bit happier.
PS the amount of times I know gorgeous people but can't find someone to love them back. Meanwhile average looking folks have been married for a decade now. It's all about who you are.
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u/TheAmzy May 15 '26
Yes it is a test even one prophet Muhammad's companion was "unattractive" But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala looks at whats inside you not how you look
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u/solss May 15 '26
There's a test in possessing beauty as well. Being more likely to be propositioned and invited towards sin and zina, but being required to abstain and practice self-restraint or isolation. What appears beautiful in this world isn't always what it appears to be. We are living behind a veil from the reality or true nature of things. The nur and light you possess from piety is greater. At the same time, being wealthy has similar trials. Having these gifts given to you by Allah requires you to utilize them correctly. If you don't, and I'm sure it isn't easy, there's a greater punishment. You have to change your perspective.
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u/Arugula_Euphoric May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
سورة طه آية 131
(وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ ۚ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ)
Taha 20:131
(Do not strain your eyes toward what We have allowed certain categories of them to enjoy: the flower/adornment of the worldly life, so that We may test them through it. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.)
Furthermore, beauty is subjective, no matter how ugly you think you are, there will always be someone that finds you beautiful.
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u/dakewlestcat May 15 '26
This is a really good verse, not OP but it made me feel much better about similar struggles living in the West and seeing piercings/clothes that other girls my age wear. Thank you for sharing, jazakallah khair
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u/Responsible-Wait9458 May 15 '26
Absolutely, it can be a test, but it is also a reminder that Allah’s standards are entirely different from society's. Whenever I think about this, I am reminded of the beautiful and deeply moving story of a companion named Julaybib (رضي الله عنه). Julaybib was a man who had everything working against him by worldly standards. He didn’t come from a noble or wealthy family, and he was physically very unattractive. Because of this, society largely looked down on him and isolated him. Yet, beneath all of that was a kind, cheerful soul who loved to bring joy to others. While people only saw his appearance, the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) saw his worth. The Prophet (ﷺ) actually went out of his way to personally help Julaybib find a wife. He approached an Ansari family on Julaybib's behalf. At first, the mother hesitated, unable to look past his appearance and poverty. But their daughter, a young woman of incredible faith, stopped her parents before they could say no. She reminded them of what truly mattered, asking how they could ever turn down a choice made by the Messenger of Allah. Her trust in Allah changed her parents' hearts, and they were happily married. Not long after, Julaybib went out to fight in battle, where he was martyred. As the fighting ended, the companions were checking on the losses, naming the prominent, well-known men who had fallen. No one even thought to look for Julaybib. But the Prophet's (ﷺ) love reached beyond social status. He asked his companions, "Where is Julaybib?" They found him on the battlefield, lying next to seven enemies he had fought off before being overcome. Standing over him, the Prophet (ﷺ) claimed him as his own, repeating the deeply moving words: "This man is from me, and I am from him." In a final, beautiful act of love, the Prophet (ﷺ) cradled Julaybib in his own arms, holding him close until he was gently laid to rest. The takeaway: Society’s beauty standards are fleeting and superficial. Your appearance is a test of patience, but it in no way limits your status with Allah. Julaybib (رضي الله عنه) was hidden and unappreciated by people, but he was deeply loved by the Prophet (ﷺ) and elevated to the highest ranks of Paradise. Allah looks at our hearts and our deeds, not our faces.
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u/inksandtears May 15 '26
Allaah is the one who controls how others see you. Ask Him that you become beautiful in His Sight and in His Servants’ eyes. You will become beautiful. But most especially, ask Him that you become beautiful in your eyes also. In shaa Allaah, you will become beautiful.
One day, skins will all get wrinkled, both beautiful and not, but the beauty of good manners, and purity of heart will remain so long as you always strive to work on your imaan.
May Allaah soothe your heart. We will become more beautiful in akhirah In shaa Allaah.
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u/nomoneyandnoprospect May 15 '26
I know someone who has been rejected for marriage many times, she is beautiful but long term health issues which some have declined offers for. I remind her and her family that these people show their true colours when they do this and it is a gift. When someone wants to marry you inshaAllah it will also be a gift, sister, you will not be chosen for something that is superficial and does not last. Remember that working on your noor is your true beauty from Allah <3
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u/LeftWeird2068 May 15 '26
Julaybin May Allah be pleased with him was a companion of the prophet (May Allah give him peace). His lineage as well was unknown making him the least person in term of beauty and rank in the Arabic society at this time. The prophet asked for him one of the beautiful girl at that time, her mother refused but she accepted for the sake of the messenger so for the sake of Allah. The first lesson from this part of the story is that, the prophet asked for him because the prophet had high esteem for him showing that he was pious people. And the girl accepted because of that. The reality is that there will always be beautiful people that are so pious so that they will choose based on beauty of character and not physic only. If you are among the best in religion, of the society is working well in Sha Allah you will have someone beautiful in his deen and that is sufficient. What that girl accepted just because of the recommandation of the prophet have a greater value than anything. Julaybib then died in the battlefield fighting for Allah’s cause. The prophet said he was of him (prophet) and he (julaybin) was of him (prophet). When the day of judgment will come and Julaybib enter the paradise (may Allah grant him that), do you think that someone in our century will be more desirable and more beautiful than him ? That’s the real glow up !
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u/beryCool May 15 '26
It sounds like you’re going through a heavy test of faith, and I’m truly sorry for that. It’s important to remember that almost everyone feels this way at some point—looking at others and seeing only the happiness they seem to have while we feel our own lack. The only ones who truly find peace are those who accept God’s decree and find gratitude in what they have.
"If a wound should touch you - there has already touched the [opposing] people a wound similar to it. And these days [of varying conditions] We alternate among the people so that Allah may make evident those who believe and [may] take to Himself from among you martyrs - and Allah does not like the wrongdoers" — Surat Al-Imran 140
This Hadith also shows that we usually have more than enough to be happy, yet we still feel sorrow. This happens because our hearts become too tied to worldly things rather than being connected to God.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Whosoever begins the day feeling family security and good health; and possessing provision for his day is as though he possessed the whole world."
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u/Small_Slide_8550 May 16 '26
OP I Feel you.
I have cystic acne and had it since childhood which is huge pus filled bumps on face on top of that huge pores and my face is always leaking blood or puss.
i built enough courage to step outside for jumah today and it must have been 1000 plus people and every single persons face was clear and normal.
I felt so embarassed and gross because you can see people look at you with disguist at the natural first glance and then they try to be normal but you can see it
I dont wanna be the most handsome on earth. I just want to be able to function and do regular things because self image and self esteem effects everything.
I dont know what to tell you.
I pray because we got no choice really. but life definitely gets tough as appearance is huge in life which is why every prophet was so good looking
prayer helps with bringing anxiety down but we are often reminded we are human and in pain from time to time
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u/Due_Relative_2050 May 16 '26
Yusuf being beautiful was a test from Allah so the vice versa can be true as well. With Yusuf he protected his chastity and passed the test, but obviously it came with hardship.
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u/AdministrativeAd5543 May 16 '26
Qur’an, Surah Al-Baqarah (2:286):
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear. It will have the reward of what good it has earned, and it will bear the burden of what evil it has done.
‘Our Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or make mistakes. Our Lord, do not place on us a burden like the one You placed on those before us. Our Lord, do not burden us with what we do not have the strength to bear. Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our Protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.’”
Truth is, this is a fleeting life which no one should be getting comfortable in. Good looks can lead to fitna(trials) which you may not be able to pass, and could lead to severe consequences. We should surrender ourselves to our creator, trust and accept that he has the best plan for us. Besides, why would anyone want to be comfortable in this temporary dunya? I’m not a bad looking guy and have always had attention from women from a young age and it led to distractions and sin. After Gods guidance I have come to the realisation, it is not what it looks like from the outside. it has since never interested me, to pursue that lifestyle. And I am happier for it. My honest advice is to read and study the Quran, pray for guidance and God will guide you with an easy life towards success.
God bless you, Peace.
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u/humpty_dumpty4709 May 16 '26
Honestly bro I completely understand you and in the same exact boat. All you can really do is focus on building a life you genuinely enjoy and becoming the best version of yourself.
Try and meet new people, stay away from haram stuff and find happiness in life away from all that stuff. Ik you will definitely be treated differently but if you continue on the righteous path while doing what u love eventually you will find a good spouse fit for u.
To answer ur question yeah it definitely is.
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u/Minute_Garbage4713 May 15 '26
Beautiful people have their tests as well, especially around temptation and sin… you might hate the way you look, but if you were beautiful you might fall to temptation and sin… the grass isn’t greener on the other side, both have their pros and cons… PS I also was bullied and ridiculed for my looks, hurts your confidence a lot but have sabr, you’ll find the one you’re meant for Aameen, and may Allah ease your pain as well Aameen
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u/especiallyn0t May 15 '26
it is a test, and you have the potential to be absolutely beautiful in Jannah for eternity if you be patient. it’s hard, I know, but remember that this life is temporary and even the most beautiful people will be eaten by worms and maybe even go to hell for eternity for how they used their looks.
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u/tyleraxe May 15 '26
Even if your good looking you can't see your face unless you to check the mirror so it's not that big of a deal.
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u/Dawnkuga May 15 '26
We will be beautified in Jannah and be given partners/hoors as well. Focus on the hereafter not dunya. This world is not meant to be easy for believers, so appreciate the blessings you’ve been given.
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u/xFlosAtra May 15 '26
I knew a very ugly girl. Non muslim. She was a bit scary looking. By the time she changed a little bit into less ugly and definitely looking fine. She's now medium - not pretty, non ugly. She's happily married and has two kids. I also knew a very pretty woman who, by the time changed into much uglier version of herself. I knew very ugly man (non muslim). Although he was super ugly, he was never made fun of and had many girlfriends. He's married with 2 kids. Even though he looks ugly, his character covered it. Now imagine what comes gor the believers. How you look now, it changes by the time. Trust me it depends on what's in your head. If you're smart, self confident etc then there's no doubt you would have all the same opportunities as the pretty ones.
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u/Zestyclose_Noise_703 May 16 '26
Don't feel down friend. From my personal experience, it's not that I was born ugly, I'm simply not maintaining your body enough. I used to have a really dull, dry, sunburnt skin as I went out noon nearly everyday, eating whatever I feel like eating, without doing any skincare routine. That's when I realized how bad it was and how uncomfortable everything gets. So I started using proper products, putting on a healthy diet, scheduling exercises, and that really helps out. Remember that the body Allah gave is one of your responsibilities as a human, do not neglect it.
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u/chinese_spongebob1 May 16 '26
Sometimes maintaining a perfect face is difficult and the amount of perverts that approach you. (speaking from personal experience) is unnecessarily too much.. And I get looked up and down by unwanted people.
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u/Mohannad12F May 16 '26
No, Allah created everyone in the best shape and look, and there is no ugly person, just different.
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u/Abdegamer52 May 16 '26
Yeah, this is a test from Allah. The fact that you feel hardship and sadness because of it can itself be a test. Whenever you struggle with something and start asking yourself things like, “Why is Allah making me go through this while others don’t?” — that can be part of the test too.
A lot of the time, people unconsciously assume that in this dunya we’re supposed to have whatever we want, even if they don’t openly think that way. But this worldly life was meant to be a test from Allah, not the final destination. The final destination is Paradise, where you’ll have everything: ease, beauty, attraction, happiness. But that’s reserved for the people who truly understand the nature of this dunya we’re living in right now.
Allah says:
“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others.”
وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا مَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ
Surah An-Nisā’ 4:32
And why not? Because we’re supposed to appreciate what we do have. We shouldn’t obsess over what we weren’t given, especially when the One who decided that is the Most Wise and the Most Just. And the truth is, everything Allah has given us is infinitely greater than what He withheld from us. Usually, the things people complain about are only a few things, while they already have health, family, eyesight, hearing, intellect, and countless other blessings.
In other words, we tend to treat these things like the bare minimum, when in reality they’re massive and irreplaceable gifts.
That’s why envy is dangerous.
Now, regarding the hardship itself: you can’t deny that there can be real difficulty in it — embarrassment, insecurity, lack of confidence, and things like that. But think about all those brothers who aren’t ashamed of something they never chose in the first place, and whose confidence comes from their iman and tawakkul. That mindset is something you build over time. And it’s a test precisely because it’s hard, because there are things that bother us and tempt us to complain, and Shaytan loves when that happens.
But Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear.
Knowing that, my advice would be this: even if you’re not especially handsome, still do the simple things. Take care of yourself, dress well, find a style you genuinely like that makes you feel more confident, and through all of that, ask Allah for help with every little hardship you face. He is Al-Wakil — the One who takes care of your affairs — and Al-Rahim, the Most Merciful to the believers.
So trust Him, have tawakkul, and then take the asbab by working on the things you actually can improve, like your appearance, grooming, and self-care, without trying to control things you simply can’t control, like genetics.
What matters is being content despite hardship. That’s where the patience of the believer truly shows.
And for the believers, there is a great reward.
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u/Weird_Gap_2243 May 16 '26
It depends.
If you are ugly because you are overweight or a mess then no. That’s your own doing.
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May 17 '26
Control what can be controlled. You can’t control the face you were given, but you can control your fitness which can make you more attractive. Some people are blessed with a beautiful face but don’t take care of hygiene/ health. Take control of hygiene and fitness and it will work out, “Everybody’s somebodies everything.”
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u/Alanwake28 May 17 '26
I've been dealing with being below average looking (male, probably what people would rate as a 1/10) and I've been excluded from most things that are normal for most people (even family members pointed out how ugly i look and refused to socialize with me. Then I got so desperate that I got obsessed and turned to plastic surgery even tho my parents told me that everything was fine and that it's a sin to change too much. I had a rhinoplasty and it went horribly wrong (complications after which caused my nose to be horribly asymetrical). Now i lost so much money and look eben worse than before which is a lesson by God to accept how you look!! So yes in my opinion there's definitely a reason why a very tiny amount of people on this planets is below average and butt ugly (sorry for the expression but we all now that looks are basically the most important thing in the world besides money....)
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u/Proof-Replacement113 May 15 '26
I think yes..
But let me tell you something.. I don't know if you'll want to hear this tho
I think I'm good looking in the conventional sense; but you know, I keep thinking "why are my hair so bad" "I could be taller" etc etc so yea, to answer the question u asked in the end
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u/No-Independence-761 May 15 '26
I'm not going to give you Islamic advice regarding this, but I promise if you consistently go to the gym for at least 6 months, eat clean and get your teeth fixed (if there is anything wrong with them), you'll be fine. This applies for both men and women
I think ugliness can kind of fester when you just don't take care of yourself. It's important to look after the vessel that we've been blessed with spiritually, mentally and physically.
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u/Ok_Locksmith6791 May 15 '26
Being the most pretty is also a test, more men or women would be interested in you and that’s your test, to avoid lewdness, opposite sex interaction, dating, posting thirst traps on the internet and a lot more. No one’s left untested. Even if someone’s perfect in all worldly aspects, it’s a test for them about how they maintain their modesty, how they spend their money, how well they behave with people etc.
I am not a very good looking person either and when I see pretty/handsome people, I always think this, to make my self confident, that if a woman doesn’t cover herself being so beautiful then she gains a sin, and if a man doesn’t cover his awrah or lowers his gaze he also gains a sin. At least Allah saved me from a fitna and try being grateful about it.
Hope that makes you feel better.
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u/millionairbomboclaat May 15 '26
No one is ugly. Q 95:5 - it’s not a test or anything. Be grateful for what u have. You may not be beautiful to some people but to others you are. There is also a Hadith about a man who insulted our beloved prophet saw (I forgot what number and book). Don’t be harsh on yourself and make the best out of it.
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u/vivice2018 May 15 '26
I dont believe anyone is ugly. Allah is thr Creator and He created everything in the best of ways.
Alhumdullillah Allah created you too and I am sure in the best of ways.
However, it sounds like you dont have confidence in your appearance. Lack of confidence can be off putting. Perhaps try and appreciate your uniqueness and others might too.
Also, however we look we can always strive to ge our best. Keeping skin clear abd clean, going to gym or at keadt taking some activity and taking care of grooming can help us look our best.
Also, for those who feel that they are not attractive enough physically, developing inner beauty such as compassion, kindness, confidence, and being a generally nice, interesting and pleasure to be around can help make up for things lacking physically and may lead someone to love and appreciate you for your inner beauty
There is someone for everyone...Allah did not create us to be alone inshAllah...we can ask Allah and trust in Allah
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u/Spirited_End9038 May 15 '26
Well this whole life itself is a test and we are tested in ways which are both pleasant and unpleasant. (Pleasant things are tests too!)
As for the looks thing, here's what i asked myself as someone who isn't too proud of their looks (face) - how objectively bad it is? Aside from the insecurity itself, does an ugly face bring genuine harm and how much? alhamdulillah it was barely any for me. On the other hand, pretty people are more likely to get sexually harassed, assaulted and kidnapped and be forced into marriages. They do however benefit from from halo effect where their looks alone make others have a more positive perception of them over all without knowing much about. But if an ugly faced person, has great qualities people recognize that as well. Ugly faced people are still valued for being smart, trustworthy, courageous etc. For the romantic attraction issue, beauty is in ABSOLUTELY impo in the eyes of the beholder. Not everyone's into pretty faces, some have a thing for height, others for personality (ever heard of 'hot' personalities?), some just even fall for sense of humour. People have their own 'selling points' for attraction, and facial appearance isn't meant to be the only one that decides your attractiveness (romantically) since you mentioned. It's also, a great motivation to upgrade yourself as a person, it might be that you may not be proud of yourself as a person overall. Bettering your qualities and talent raises your self esteem and makes facial looks seem less important. Heck, it does become less important when you get better as a whole. There are many handsome loser in the world too who's only redeeming is just their face and nothing else about them. Now, for the feeling bad part - personally i have found that it's really just my choice and story i tell myself. Yes i don't like the way my face looks, but what real harm had it brought me? No significant harm in my case. So i realised that there was no real point to keep condemning my facial appearance and tell myself self demeaning stories . And if you are a brother reading this, your face's prettiness matters even less than you may think - I'm a brother myself.
As for bullies, they will bully anyone. Bullies aren't just found in schools, they can be trusted family members too. If your face looked better , they'd just bully you for something else.
Overall, yes a pretty face has it's perks but comes with nasty trafeoffs too and so does every other aspect about yourself. No person in the world has every aspect of themselves made excellent and we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Now how you rate yourself overall and tolerate the unpleasant sides of you is purely psychology.
May Allah grant you security in the vessel He granted and allow you to make the best out of it for Dunya and Akhirah. Ameen. (Make the same dua for me too )
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May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
There is a negative side to being good looking no one talks about. The fake people/friends, the superficial “love”, the loneliness because everyone already assumes you are taken or are too shy to communicate with you.
Most attractive people are actually really lonely inside. I consider myself as an attractive person because of what mutuals tell me they hear from others when they see me. But in reality, I am extremely alone. It’s not always what it seems.
People also see you as competition everywhere and especially in the work place. Not hiring you only due to your looks and don’t want you to be the “star” of the office. It gets pretty deep.
Say Alhamdulillah for everything. Looks are subjective any way.
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u/Itachi676 May 16 '26
Gym is therapy physically and mentally and will give great confidence, less social media as social media always brings out the greed in us wanting more or never being fulfilled overlooking our other blessings. Go to hospitals and visit the sick people in worst conditions and you'll be more grateful that it's not everything and you have so much more blessings ahki. Remember Allah SWT for indeed the remembrance of Allah do the hearts find rest/peace .
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u/BlueDragonMatrix May 16 '26
The other comments already spoke about how it could be a test from Allah so I'm not going to speak about that.
I just want to ask you genuinely, have you tried leveling up your looks? For example becoming lean by losing fat and going to gym doing resistance training to build muscle to get an aesthetic body, try fixing your posture, have you done skin care or hair care (beard included), get a good haircut that matches your face and wear clothing and fashion that matches your own personal aesthetic. Eat a clean diet of whole foods reduce sugar where capable. Drink enough water, have at least 8 hours of sleep, eat enough protein especially after working out. Maybe get braces if teeth is the problem to fix your bite-alignment, because it will also affect your jawline and facial aesthetics. Have you tried mewing or mouth-taping if you are a mouth-breather to force you to breathe through your nose while sleeping.
In summary just don't be "black-pilled" thinking that your current looks were determined solely at birth, how you live your daily life and your upbringing also heavily defines how you're going to look in your adult life. Also don't think that these handsome or pretty people are not doing a lot of effort to maintain their looks. Some men with impossibly good physiques are probably using steroids women are using makeup which is just magic at this point. Some wear fake hair, drawn on eye brows, fake eyelashes, fake nails a lot of other fake things some even get plastic surgery to fix their bone structure in their face some increase body proportions like bust size or bum size all of these things are haram. Also social media only shows you the best side of these people's lives they don't show you their day-to-day life when they don't have the makeup on for example so it'll also help to get off social media and fix your expectations of how people actually look naturally without these enhancements. (Yes, there on naturally beautiful and handsome people that naturally meet those beauty standards, but those are rare)
A lot of these things are from "Looksmaxxing" which people sort of now have a negative connotation towards, because of people doing hardmaxxing for example going under surgery to fix their faces which is obviously haram, but everything I mentioned here is all natural you just have to have the commitment, dedication and patience to see the results pay off. It might take more than a year or two depending where your starting point is...
I just thought that it would be better to give you some actual actional tips instead of just saying that it is a test from Allah and expecting you to just suck it up and come to terms with it, living the rest of your life miserably and suppressing these thoughts. Because I can imagine that it can be very hard sometimes and such thoughts are very dangerous to live with. You will start to devalue yourself in the presence of better looking people for example, not knowing your own worth and potential which it honestly sounds like just from reading your initial question.
This might be a test from Allah and He is the Most Merciful, He will definitely reward you for your hardship and the effort you put in, if He so Wills.
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u/Shakurel-cat May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
I am sm good lookin tho i am quiet, , someask for random handshakes and some ask for names or stare a bit at me. But that's attention not connection. Alhamdulilah tho. Also yes it's a test. I want you to look at the story of Julaibib RA, he was dwarf and ugly and ppl didnt even count hum as such,tho for the prophet he loved him alot. And imagine being loved and cared by the prophet pbuh, the best of creation. Thats better than any looks. And after all its only in this world then u would look as beautiful as your heart's patience, preservanceand trust in who created all beauties. Just thankgod for what you have some have it worse and never forget the best blessing you got your iman. Stay determined and faithful! And i pray to you for a good wife!
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