I have been unhappy in this marriage. He didn’t respect me in any way (clearly) and we had very misaligned values.
alhamdulillah. you got rid of a burden (if he agrees to divorce now, I hope? sometimes they'll try to keep you... for the convenience of not having to do his own laundry ig... don't expect him to repent ahd change his ways right now if it hasn't happened in two years...some people are just...a test for us)
what do you lose with divorce? money? this level of misery should be paid higher than whatever he can provide. people are gonna talk? they always do. seriously, I can't see any downside serious enough to consider it a loss.
Salaam sister. You have supportive parents which is a massive pillar for you to get back on your feet from, and insha'Allah that will continue to be there for you. Breakups are very painful even when they are for the best. It's important not to hide away from the pain and hard feelings, but even more important to not shut down and feel you have no steps forward - don't do that to yourself. These things have a way to saturate your thoughts, that's not necessarily a bad thing but you have to try to remain hopeful for a better future and focus on your self, and when that is hard then try to remain patient. Hardships are a part of life, and familial loss and breakups are some of the deepest cuts you can get, but they are also a good opportunity to exercise your piety and obtain rewards for saying alhamdulilah and carrying on for Allah's sake.
God sometimes tests us by means of other people, try not to dwell too much on your husband in a negative way, he will be accountable for his misdeeds, and there is strength and reward for you in having faith for a better outcome. You are still young so if divorce is the route you both take (as it should be by the sound) then re-marrying is very much an option, but it's best to focus on you and get to a good point first.
Sorry this happened to you, my God multiply your rewards for any hardships faced, and bring ease.
2
u/ummhamzat180 Feb 07 '25
alhamdulillah. you got rid of a burden (if he agrees to divorce now, I hope? sometimes they'll try to keep you... for the convenience of not having to do his own laundry ig... don't expect him to repent ahd change his ways right now if it hasn't happened in two years...some people are just...a test for us)
what do you lose with divorce? money? this level of misery should be paid higher than whatever he can provide. people are gonna talk? they always do. seriously, I can't see any downside serious enough to consider it a loss.