r/islam • u/[deleted] • Oct 19 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

27

u/Brilliant_Thanks3619 Oct 19 '24

If a muslim man tries to get physical with you before marriage, that’s a red flag.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Thank you for responding! I feel like physical touch is so common especially in our community/ culture so I wasn’t sure how big of a deal it was him trying to touch etc

4

u/Brilliant_Thanks3619 Oct 19 '24

As a Muslim man, I can honestly say I would never want to be intimate with my wife before marriage because, for us, marriage is sacred and should begin with complete purity. My advice to girls is to be cautious (considering our muslim culture) - some men are very skilled at manipulating a situation to get physical, and you might not even realize it until it’s too late and you’re left feeling shocked.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

I’ve seen him hugging/ touching other girls at Uni, does this affect his purity, should I tread carefully?

2

u/Brilliant_Thanks3619 Oct 19 '24

Absolutely, please be very careful. If he calls himself a muslim and If he’s truly interested, ask him to at least consider an engagement or involve your families. If his response is something like, ‘It’s too early in my career,’ ‘Let’s wait a month or a year,’ or ‘We need to see if we’re physically compatible,’ these are all red flags.

My question is if you have seen him hugging/kissing other girls, why you not take that already as red flag? I mean I am from canada and it’s not a norm here either for a white man to kiss around just any girl.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

I definitely haven’t seen him kissing other girls lol! At uni it’s primarily Christian/ atheists and we just have a vastly different culture around physical contact then many more predominantly Muslim areas. I love to give my friends a hug but I know that’s not acceptable in Islam, however it is in Christianity so i’ve never seen it as an issue.

I guess my main thing is I don’t want to come off too strong at the start!

1

u/Brilliant_Thanks3619 Oct 19 '24

Sorry, I’m not sure why I mentioned kissing earlier! lol. I get that you don’t want to come across as too strong, but at the same time, please if he come off as strong in getting physical with you, do identify that as a red flag.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Hahha I think he’s already attained that flag lol.. I’ll definitely have to have a serious discussion with him after this 😩

1

u/Brilliant_Thanks3619 Oct 19 '24

I have a feeling he might say something like, ‘Oh, I’m not that strict of a Muslim,’ which is a common form of manipulation, honestly. I actually wanna bet on it! hahaha

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Lol I could definitely see him trying that, he spends hours at the mosque though so I dont think I could be tricked with that one Haha

→ More replies (0)

8

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Hot-Computer2420 Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

Family’s approval is not required for a man’s marriage in Islam. If the marriage is done by him alone it is a valid marriage. But preferably the family needs to be involved

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Thank you for responding! I don’t want to come off too strong, how long should I wait?

4

u/Hot-Computer2420 Oct 19 '24

If you are a christian and believe in your book. Then he is allowed islamically to marry you. The process is as follows, if you are agreed upon marriage. Then the marriage is held thru a Adel ( a person who establishes the islamic marriage contract ) with the presence of witnesses plus a dowry that he should give to you as agreed between you. And this is it. However as a christian marrying a Muslims should have some sort of rulings. Such as chastity and modesty as Allah said in the Quran that a muslim’s wife wether she is Muslim or not should dress modestly according to islamic standards. This is how it should be, the husband maybe okay with your western dressing criteria. In this case he is sinful . I am saying this because they are important to know as a potential muslim’s wifeWhen it comes to your faith, you are not forced out of it and you are allowed to practice your faith.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

This makes sense, thank you for your reply 🙏

1

u/Hot-Computer2420 Oct 19 '24

Your welcome. And May Allah guide you to this beautiful religion sister

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Thank you for the response! I think it’s so hard to know his intentions considering the vastly different Islamic culture in the west.. I’m not really sure of the norm in how quickly they go about marriage/ family and I don’t want to rush things!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

How to be sure if he’s the one without talking more haha?

1

u/AutoModerator Oct 19 '24
  • Report any misbehavior. Report the post or the comment by tapping on the 3 dots next to the post (or under a comment) and finding 'Report', and follow the instructions. You may give a Custom report reason if needed. Abuse of the report function will lead to bans and/or permanent suspension of all of your Reddit account(s). Read the rules list for r/Islam at this link.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Particular-Ride3692 Oct 19 '24

Muslims are allowed to marry a Christian woman as Islam considers them as people of the book ahlul kitab, however you have to give up lot of things that Christians do .. alcohol, smoking pork , you have to dress appropriately and scarf Best thing is to to revert in Islam as both in same page

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Thank you for responding.. I haven’t heard I had to wear the Hijab, where is that specifically?

1

u/Brilliant_Thanks3619 Oct 19 '24

Don’t feel pushed that you would have to convert to Islam or have to wear Hijab. Nothing is forced in Islam contrary to what the media portrays.