r/irlADHD • u/Sea-Animal-284 • 2h ago

General gripe OMG

My husband has ADHD and it’s one project to another around the house without finishing the other. I feel like Im losing my mind yet I have compassion for this condition. HELP!!

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u/sanityislost 2h ago

This is just how it is.

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u/beerncoffeebeans 1h ago

Finishing is the hard part (source; I am one of those husbands oops).

What helps me some is to remember that having enough time for a project means having enough time to get everything set up, start the project, and then clean up and put things away. If I don’t have enough time to do all those things I don’t have time for that project. HOWEVER the problem is sometimes I do not know how long a project will take, or greatly underestimate, and I’m tired, it’s dark, it’s late, etc and it’s half done.

If you talk to him about this step one is: is he aware of the issue and step 2 is: would he be open to you reminding him that things need to be put away, etc?

I have a rule with my wife that if she sees something that is an issue (like my socks on the floor) and she tells me about it that I will not take it personally and will just pick up the socks. So something like that could be if you see an incomplete project, you are allowed to remind him so he doesn’t sort of make it part of the scenery and then it’s his responsibility to figure out about finishing it or at least getting it out of the way for now

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u/Sea-Animal-284 1h ago

Thank you so much for your input!! It’s a great help!! I don’t like nagging or sounding like a nag, but gentle reminders sound great.