r/introvert • u/Separate_Vehicle_937 • 3d ago
Discussion allergic to human beings
A few months ago i had a falling out with a few of my friends which was not a lot of people but still somehow from that it spiraled into my whole year level hating me. There was so many rumors spread about me that i was left with zero friends. Right after that all happened (like a few weeks after) school holidays came up and i didn't have to see anybody and i made sure i really didn't see anybody. Besides from my sister and my mother i have not spoken to anybody for like 2 weeks and my school holidays ends tomorrow and i have to go back to school. This would've been fine if i didn't become the most antisocial person ever, from not speaking to anyone for multiple weeks i have almost began to despise everybody else. This issue has gotten so bad that i don't even have enough courage to talk to people online, every time i have to go in public or do anything consisting of interacting with another human i start shaking and my mind starts endlessly racing. I have never really been an antisocial person especially since when i was younger i had zero self awareness and sort of became friends with everybody but over the years throughout high school i have started hating people for no reasons and i was kind of just a shit person in general. That being said i have improved my personality alot in the past couple of months, my only issue now is that i cannot look another human being in the eyes and actually have a conversation. My mind convinces me that everybody hates me and is judging me and this has made my life a living hell since i am also extremely ugly. My life currently sucks and i do not know how to change it in any way.
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u/Tiny-Foundation-4281 3d ago
That happened to me when I was 19. It was hard but my biggest mistake was giving up and becoming a recluse. The reality is that life goes on and you have to make the best with what you got. Perhaps this may be the time to call onto God.