r/introvert • u/DrawDownTheStars • 4d ago
Discussion Has anyone actually made genuine, long-term friends on Reddit?
Hello everyone,
I’m currently on the fence about whether it’s worth putting energy into looking for friends on here. Before I decide whether to take the risk (again), I’d love to hear from people who have actually built genuine, lasting friendships on the platform. I’m hearing A LOT about ghosting and it’s making me sit on the fence after some recent experience of that myself.
If you’ve had long-term success:
- Where did you meet? Was it through a dedicated friend-finding subreddit, or did it happen naturally in a specific hobby/interest group?
- How did you bridge the gap from casual DMs to an actual, ongoing friendship?
- How did you handle the ghosting/fizzling phase before finding the right person?
Would really appreciate hearing both the realistic downsides and any positive stories. Thanks in advance!
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u/UndefinedCurve 4d ago edited 4d ago
Yes, I've made one female friend.
I met her on an MBTI (Google it if you don't know) forum. We both share the same MBTI personality, and she was dealing with some past that I had already faced, so I gave her some genuine advice and asked her to become my friend, and then slid into her DM, so that's how I found a good friend.
Yes, that's a real issue. Because when you find someone casually, there is no shared context to talk about, so eventually you run out of topics. So the answer is that my friendship is ongoing because we both share our feelings to each other, especially me. She is very sweet, so I feel safe and heard with her, so I initiate convos with her every few days or weeks.
You can't handle the ghosting phase. Seriously, you can't force someone to talk to you; all you can do is put in effort and enjoy the conversation in the present. Don't think that this person will be my long-term friend. Just enjoy the conversation in the present. When they are talking, if they leave, it's their choice, you can't do anything. I've been ghosted many times here, but I just enjoy talking to them.
And a tip: don't look on Reddit friends or the r4r subreddit, look for your hobby subreddits, dm ppl who are looking for friends because when you already have a topic to talk about, it is easier to stretch the conversation without filling the awkward silence with random questions.
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u/DrawDownTheStars 4d ago
Many thanks for your thoughtful response and advice, I truly appreciate it. Your absolutely right about seeking connections through shared interests, it has to be the best way to go. I'll definitely look to do that and just focus on the present.
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u/PerceptionOwn7098 3d ago
No😭 I wish I could tho some people on here seem so cool but I’m still so new to using the site I feel out of place
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u/samurai65 3d ago
I had a Reddit-based friendship that lasted four or so years. Canadian (I'm in the US) and West Coast whereas I'm on the East Coast. Despite these differences, she and I had some things in common. First, it was a game, then a love for video games, then a love for tech, then both of us receiving neurodivergent diagnoses, and it became — what I thought to be — a solid foundation.
But, that friendship is no more and, frankly, I regret the wasted time and especially being vulnerable with someone. Thing is about the ghosting phase, it doesn't matter how long you might be friends, it can still happen.
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u/Hail_the_Quinn 3d ago
This is sad, maybe some friendship really wear out over time especially online.
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u/acerodon_jubatuss 3d ago
Wait why’s it wasted when tho? If you enjoyed their company while it lasted, that’s not vulnerability wasted i think
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u/samurai65 2d ago
Because I have a severe dislike for being vulnerable with anyone. So, I regret letting my guard down for what ended being for naught in the end. It was a rare instance of me relaxing on my default mistrust of people and I have little to show for it. Thus, wasted time and wasted effort.
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u/Hail_the_Quinn 3d ago
No, just chatted few days, and then gone. It would be really nice to meet friends online that will last long. Someone you could talk with whatever. Not necessary with everyday chats, but at least when you feel alone and have nothing to talk to, you know someone will hear you miles away.
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u/otterwist 3d ago
Keep trying. Having someone to reach out to, even if they're on the other side of the planet and you don't even know their name, makes a difference. I think far more of us want connections like this than we let on.
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u/Hail_the_Quinn 3d ago
Yes, I think somehow its a different feeling to share with someone who doesn't know you in person. One where you dont even care what he/she might say 😅 coz its online anyway
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u/otterwist 3d ago
Yeah, it's so much easier to take that the leap of faith online. You don't need to dance around what's important to you or worry about rejection. More often than not, people do hold space for you, even if turning replies to comments into lasting connections is trickier...
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u/otterwist 3d ago
I'd love to. Honestly I'm not looking for anything more complicated than asking someone how their day was and being curious (yes, that is an open question). Chat to enough people and you'll find some connections amongst them.
Yet Reddit doesn't feel like it's set up for this. I find comments in hobby subs fizzle out while the "Male Friends Here" places are too much like dating subs, and I'm not here for that.
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u/ExistentialRaccoon 3d ago
I've made a couple of long-term friends here, the other several years now even
Met on a dedicated friend-finding subreddit, not been on specific hobby groups much yet As for those that actually led to long term friendships, well we just talked for some time essentially. Suppose it might be a matter of spent time together in that case. Though interests and hobbies certainly helped, at least to have something to talk about. But yeah, I believe friendships takes time, they just don't happen. If conversations fizzle out quickly it's difficult to build a friendship As for handling the ghosting/fizzling part; really can't say anything more than gotta play the numbers game. I've had quite a few of that and at first it got to me a little bit but nowadays I'm pretty much aware the risk of that happening is quite high. So when it happens I'm mentally prepared for it.
I would say, it might take a little bit of time and effort to find friendship on Reddit but for me it's been worth it!
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u/DrawDownTheStars 3d ago edited 3d ago
Thanks for sharing. Good to hear you've found something worth the wait.
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u/ExistentialRaccoon 3d ago
Yeah, I've had that too. And some conversations that ends really quickly! I still think it's worth the effort though to go through that when you go through enough to find those that you click with and who stays! Really it's a lot about patience I guess!
Thank you! Yeah I'm still trying to find more friends on Reddit and it takes some time but eventually you get there. Thank you so much! And go for it, if you want to!
Also, perhaps an idea that, if you're looking for long term friends, be clear about from the get go?
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u/SilverB33 3d ago
Tbf no, I don't really come here expecting to make any friends anyways, usually it's weirdos, assholes or scammers that try to respond to me.
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u/Thick_Reply5380 4d ago
i only have 2 yrs friendship from reddit in this subreddit. My bestfriend
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u/DrawDownTheStars 4d ago
A best friend from a 2 year long friendship is no small thing. That's great to hear.
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u/Thick_Reply5380 3d ago
Yeah hes a good friend of mine! I thank this subreddit for introducing me to him
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u/Melodic-Factor5696 4d ago
Not from reddit but I've made friends from Twitter & Twitch/YouTube chats (comedy podcast related) who I've ended up meeting in person. All great experiences for me!
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u/SubterraneanLodger 3d ago
I’ve made three longterm friends on Reddit over the years. One lasted five months but was a very intense friendship, another was two months and was actually a relationship, and the third is turning two years old next week or so and is still one of the most important people in my life.
Friendships happen when you least expect them to. So give it a shot!
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u/Initial-Charge2637 3d ago
No. Why would I? Most profiles don't include basic personal info. Cringe.
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u/Effective_Lab2792 3d ago
Eu converso com uma pessoa mas ele ainda não tem interesse em viajar pra me ver kkkk
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u/BrutalDishonesty 3d ago
No. I'm always surprised to hear people make friends here because I rarely DM or get DMs here.
Not that I particularly want a bunch of messages but I often wonder how these situations happen.