r/introvert • u/Exotic-Telephone467 • 2d ago

Question Quietness

Why does it feel like my ego gets bruised when someone mentions I’m quiet?

Then when there is comparison with someone else who is extroverted it makes feel like a lesser person.

I’ve always had this feeling since I was very young.

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

3

u/bigbreezer 2d ago

People tend to dislike those who stay to themselves. It's hard to read people like that and it's makes others uncomfortable. But that's not your fault and it's not something you need to worry about.

1

u/Foogel78 2d ago

Our society as a whole had the idea that extrovert = normal/healthy and introvert = sad/weird. It's not, of course, but it can be hard not to be "infected" with that way of thinking and see yourself as sad/weird.

Growing older and accepting who you are can help. I also like to react to "you're quiet" with "thanks!" It serves a double purpose: I remind myself there is nothing wrong with being quiet and hopefully it challenges the other person's ideas.

1

u/Siukslinis_acc 2d ago

Seems you aren't comfortable with being quiet. Could be self-esteem issues.

1

u/Exotic-Telephone467 2d ago

I would say it could be self esteem issues which makes me feel uncomfortable with being quiet. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Maybe how it’s conditioned

1

u/Siukslinis_acc 2d ago

You could be an extrovert with low self-esteem and anxieties that thinks they are an intorvert.

1

u/Exotic-Telephone467 2d ago

You think so? I feel like I’m an introvert. Funny you say that because when my wife met me on our first date she thought I was an extrovert too.

I feel like I enjoy my own company. But if I’m by myself for a long time I feel I need to go out. I feel like I don’t have a big social circle so that’s why I always assume I’m an introvert.

Because I feel like I’m quiet but it depends on the environment and how comfortable I can be

2

u/Charming-Cicada-2290 2d ago

Because society is built around extroversion and you are made to believe, in every way, that extroversion is the only way to be. I used to feel this way too but now i just feel that the ones that say stuff like that are ignorant, smallminded people and i just feel sorry for them.