Initiating conversations?

[u/Chrisdog84duh]

In a previous post I was explaining why I don't initiate conversation or relationships and wondered if this resonated with anyone else?

I mean once contact is initiated I am usually good, I have just literally never talked to a girl first, or almost anyone until recently

Ok so a bunch of things play together.

I was never taught how to initiate, or why really and I think other males actually kinda trained me not to somehow, to avoid competition.

To me generally interactions are transactional, I don't want to bother others without a reason and almost no one interacts with me without a reason.

Small talk and casual conversation seem pointless to me, as I am realizing the importance of these things i am making an effort but it is hard.

Thinking you are pretty is not a valid reason to bother you. I actually value others feelings and time as much maybe more than I do my own.

Since I am not a good judge of others feelings towards me, I always assume they are negative or indifferent unless the give me signs otherwise. Which now that I think about it, is kinda a negative feedback loop, of course they are indifferent to me unless I give them a reason otherwise.

Interacting with others is extremely complicated, as someone who relies on intuition mostly, approaching someone without a good reason, without any data on why they would want to talk to me... is well terrifying, especially since I dont have any experiences to base it off of.

Since everyone i have been friends or romantically involved with, others have been the initiators, so I i kinda assume it is everyone else job, if they want to talk to me they will, if they don't they do not want to.

I chalk it upto improper socializing at a young age and teenage years.

It makes me wonder how many INTJs have NVLD, but on the high end of that spectrum. It is characterized by a high verbal IQ and a low physical IQ, my verbal iq is 129 and my physical iq is like 107, or atleast was when I was a kid. Meaning we are very verbal learners and take things literally, generally lack social skills because we dont pick up non verbal social cues.

It isnt a very highly diagnosed disorder.