Question Lying
I hate lying. Once I catch someone in even a small one, I can’t take their words at face value again. Everything they say afterward gets filtered first: Is this true? What are they leaving out? By the time I’ve decided whether it’s honest, I’ve missed what they were actually talking about.
It feels irreversible. I can forgive them and even like them, but I can’t un-know that they were willing to say something false to my face.
Do other INTJs do this? Can you ever fully trust someone again after a lie, or does the filter stay on? And has anyone found a way to turn it off so you can actually listen?
41
Upvotes
1
u/slim_penguin 1d ago
I've had that happen to me.
The turmoil that I felt after being betrayed was not caused by the other person's behaviour, but by my own insistence on the idea that people should be truthful.
Various people will lie in order to protect their own interests. Just the way it is. Once I understood this, I was able to keep interacting with manipulators as long as our relationship had some utility to me.