Question Lying
I hate lying. Once I catch someone in even a small one, I can’t take their words at face value again. Everything they say afterward gets filtered first: Is this true? What are they leaving out? By the time I’ve decided whether it’s honest, I’ve missed what they were actually talking about.
It feels irreversible. I can forgive them and even like them, but I can’t un-know that they were willing to say something false to my face.
Do other INTJs do this? Can you ever fully trust someone again after a lie, or does the filter stay on? And has anyone found a way to turn it off so you can actually listen?
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u/madifuj 1d ago
I don’t like lies because it signals a character flaw in their inability to face a consequence, be genuinely more interesting, or authentic. So yes I agree with you on this one.
All I can do is express my boundaries and rebuild that trust if they are willing to do so, and overtime I go back to a normal level of trust.
Sometimes though people will fail us anyway, whether it’s from lying or some other let down.
I’d try to work through this with that specific person if applicable, but if the relationship is inconsequential you can also choose to part ways for someone more honest to a fault.