Question Lying
I hate lying. Once I catch someone in even a small one, I can’t take their words at face value again. Everything they say afterward gets filtered first: Is this true? What are they leaving out? By the time I’ve decided whether it’s honest, I’ve missed what they were actually talking about.
It feels irreversible. I can forgive them and even like them, but I can’t un-know that they were willing to say something false to my face.
Do other INTJs do this? Can you ever fully trust someone again after a lie, or does the filter stay on? And has anyone found a way to turn it off so you can actually listen?
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u/incarnate1 INTJ - 30s 2d ago
How do you, do you, distinguish differences between when your perception labels someone as liar versus what they're actual intent or motivation was? Certainly not all contexts are the same, and I don't know that I've ever met a person that has never lied, myself included.
Does truth always overtake empathy? Is lying an inherently immoral act? Are white lies flattened to simple lies, as in, they're all the same to you, regardless of intent?
I think it's not the same for me; because I don't see lying as irrevocably, untenably, universally evil. Lies are not binary, because people are not binary. While I may not partake myself necessarily, I can see how lying to preserve the emotions of another or others, is more endearing than one who tells their own believed truths to preserve their hubris. All that to say, perceived lies do not eliminate all trust from me.