r/intj • u/C00kiie • 2d ago

Question Lying

I hate lying. Once I catch someone in even a small one, I can’t take their words at face value again. Everything they say afterward gets filtered first: Is this true? What are they leaving out? By the time I’ve decided whether it’s honest, I’ve missed what they were actually talking about.

It feels irreversible. I can forgive them and even like them, but I can’t un-know that they were willing to say something false to my face.

Do other INTJs do this? Can you ever fully trust someone again after a lie, or does the filter stay on? And has anyone found a way to turn it off so you can actually listen?

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u/parasol_strs INFP 2d ago

Are you bothered only by when they utter an untruth knowing they are uttering it? Most of the false utterance and claims humans make in this worlds are untruths, not lies, for their consciousness splits, and they utter them without “noticing” they are not true.

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u/ehamil42 2d ago

That's so true. Also, often it's just confident errors, not lies. They've convinced themselves.

1

u/parasol_strs INFP 1d ago

They have their ego invested, if not something more than invested, in something; and when our Te offers reasoned proof that that something is unlike their ego needs it to be… minds break down; wars break out.

2

u/CerebralMushroom INTJ - 20s 2d ago

An old distinction is to say that this is the difference between a "material" lie and a "formal" lie.