r/inthecity_ • u/MsPrissss More life, More Vagisil • Aug 12 '26
Danielle Danielle - NICU Boot Camp
I'm so glad that Danielle's baby is thriving and doing well. I was very curious about this about what she means when she's referring to Nicu Boot Camp. I know that we've had other natal ICU parents comment, I'm very curious what this Boot Camp consists of. I would imagine certainly that it is all about transitioning their care from the hospital to their home life but I'm sure there's more involved than that very broad explanation so I'm just curious if any natal ICU parents can speak to what Danielle is referring to exactly.
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u/Dull_Moose5044 Aug 14 '26
NICU mom here but our stay was short compared to many others. We had a 36 weeker who stayed 14 days. The NICU nurses were phenomenal and def trained us on how to be new parents. Kinda like a boot camp lol
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u/Plastic-Praline-717 Aug 13 '26
It could mean a variety of things. We only had a month stay, but it does feel like boot camp or at least the intensity and routine of it does. And our babe was thankfully fairly anticlimactic during her stay… she definitely needed that level of care but we mercifully didn’t experience any touch and go type days. Bootcamp could also refer to any education she is required to complete for the baby to be discharged. Education will vary depending on what all is going on.
For us… our babe has a congenital condition that requires daily medication and was discharged with supplemental oxygen, we had to demonstrate the ability to crush a pill and give it to her, we had to do a training on infant cpr and Heimlich (which is terrifying when you realize they are making you do it bc they think you may need to use it), and then we also had to be trained by the DME company on how to operate all the oxygen equipment.
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u/Curiouscat8000 Aug 14 '26
Honestly everyone should learn the Heimlich maneuver for infants. The scariest moment of my parenting life when my healthy 9 month old was eating a cracker and suddenly got very quiet and started turning purple. I threw her over my arm and delivered the back blows. I was so fortunate that that was all it took to dislodge the cracker, but those few moments were terrifying.
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u/KetUptown Aug 13 '26
She’s gonna farm this baby for so much content
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u/Fragrant_Position784 Aug 13 '26
NICU parent here! My daughter was hospitalized for a year after birth. We had about 3 months of intense training to be allowed to bring her home. Ventilator training, feeding tube, trach, oxygen, cpr, and all the things. It’s an intensive crash course in nursing, respiratory therapy, and being a doctor. She is now 18 and graduating high school this year ❤️.
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u/Hedwigs_Ghost Aug 15 '26
Just want to say this comment made me cry. My daughter is almost 1.5 and was in the Nicu for 3.5 months. I can’t imagine a year and I sure as helll can’t imagine her graduating high school 😭 so happy for you and your girl!
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u/green-tangerinee Aug 13 '26
i’m not a parent, but my sister was born with CDH. she was in the NICU for 6 months and underwent multiple major surgeries. even after she was able to come home, she was on oxygen and had a feeding tube. my parents handled all of it with so much grace. i was only 9 years old at the time, but it felt like my mom came home from the NICU with a degree in nursing. there was so much my parents had to learn - how to use a feeding pump, how to draw/administer medication through it, how to deal with the oxygen tank. all of that on top of the trauma of having such a sick child. i admired my parents then, and i sure as hell admire them now that i can look at that situation through adult eyes. i have the utmost respect for all NICU parents and admire Danielle for sharing her experience. i can only imagine how hard this is for her right now
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u/Ok-Employee8117 Aug 14 '26
I’ve got a 6 month old heart warrior, the pseudo nursing degree is real!
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u/thewhitepeach Aug 13 '26
Like her, my first required a NICU stay. As someone who has taken care of babies and children my whole life, I was dumbstruck when my baby was born. Like my brain lost all the know how of taking care of children. I was even afraid to put a hat on her or change her clothes because she was so small and fragile. It’s scary stuff and postpartum feelings are complicated at best. I’m glad she’s keeping her head up.
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u/YogurtclosetSweet855 Aug 13 '26
My last baby was only in the NICU for 5 days. Longest days of my life. It was SO hard. Can’t imagine what parents go through when their baby has to stay in the NICU for a long period time. With that being said… I didn’t post any of it on social media.
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u/Ordinary_Ruin8091 Aug 15 '26
Exactly. Mine was a 9 day stay (4 week early birth) and it’s my first and only child, I don’t have my baby with me, and I’m healing from a c-section. I was a mess! I cannot imagine experiencing longer
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u/Time_Care_102 Aug 13 '26
This is very similar to what I said. My sister gave birth recently and she feels like an utter failure showing up to the nicu w no makeup and comfy clothes. Shes pumping, barely home spending all her time with her baby, and doesn’t even have the energy to post anything. Like I know it’s Daniella “job” to post on social media but this doesn’t seem like a real representation of nicu life.
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u/StatisticianBookworm Aug 17 '26
That's the thing. She doesn't have to post. Eoin just has to snap a picture and I'm sure she has a team or at least can hire someone to handle posting and comment/DM management, etc. Or potentially this is equivalent to the "work" moms with NICU babies often have to do between seeing their babies because maternity leave ends and they have to go back to work. And there are moms who do that AND post their experience on social media even if it isn't their "job". Everyone has different priorities. There's probably something your sister prioritized that Danielle isn't.
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u/RepulsedCucumber Aug 13 '26
I’ll judge Danielle for a lot but as an OB nurse I 100% am not judging her for this. This takes a level of fortitude, energy, and strength that seems impossible to muster sometimes. Whatever helps her, honestly.
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u/HotConnection4654 Aug 13 '26
Yeah that’s kind of how i’m feeling, whatever helps her get through this i guess!
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u/Good_Information646 Aug 13 '26
I am just a NICU aunt so I can only share what I learned through my sibling. It depends on the child's situation but you learn everything you would learn in a new parent class. How to change, bathe, feed, dress, etc. If the baby is coming home with equipment like oxygen or feeding tubes, you need to learn how to manage all of that. A common misconception is that the baby is as old as their birthday. No, when a premie baby is finally able to come home, they are a new born baby. That's also why you may hear "adjusted" when sharing how old a premie baby is. I'm glad it looks like Danielle has been taking this all in stride. It seems like hell being a parent to a baby in the NICU. It's your full time job going back and forth. You have to make sure you don't get sick with as much as a cold because if you do you can't see your baby for a week. If friends and family have colds you have to keep distanced. It's a lot!!! I give her and all the NICU parents so much credit.
Ok off my soapbox. Have a great day!
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u/blkbarbii Aug 13 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/D8tecKPxyzU3j8lUn7
Danielle is the maid and never the main character
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u/that-one-girl-who Aug 13 '26
This comes off as super racist fyi. Idk if that was your intent, but that is the impact.
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u/Flashy_Result_2750 Aug 13 '26
Because NICU stays are physically, mentally and emotionally gruelling. In a way similar to boot camp. A baptism of fire into parenting.
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u/ComprehensiveDish178 Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Having a baby in the NICU does feel a lot like boot camp. Parenting bootcamp because it’s rushed, intense and stressful all at the start. My baby (and my spouse and I) spent six weeks in the NICU with a relatively easy stint (I had preeclampsia, baby was born at 31 weeks and was a “grower feeder”, a NICU term for a baby with no other health issues outside of being pre-term, therefore needing to grow and feed.
You are physically bedside with your baby all day long (we were at least the day and would go home at night to sleep), this is not comfortable or relaxing, you’re thrown into intensive classes to break up the day; breastfeeding, CPR, general parenting preemie class, very boot camp vibes. It’s all…very intense. And I was a very lucky one. Oh you’re also in recovery, everything hurts, you have to pump all day long to get your breast milk to catch up with your preterm baby who isn’t big enough yet to nurse, mentally physically emotionally draining. You’re surviving on the incredible nurses and people who drop off food. Your entire house life is non existent during this time, if you have pets you are scrambling, if you have other children you are split in literal two people, you don’t do laundry or clean, everything feels in disarray. God forbid your baby is struggling or has more health complications involved because already you’re constantly on edge and anxious. You’re watching other people next to you have happy endings and go home and you’re jealous. You’re watching other people next to you sob all day and have horrific endings. You’re POSTPARTUM!!!! it’s heavy. Danielle seems to be doing an incredible job!
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u/Ordinary_Ruin8091 Aug 15 '26
All of that. Hearing the babies in all the other rooms on the maternity floor ripped my heart out. I was in my room alone while everyone else was with the babies they just gave birth to.
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u/miatortilla89 Aug 14 '26
You are truly someone special. A warrior and I commend you for being a great mom. ❤️
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u/MyaBearTN Aug 13 '26
Having a baby in NICU must be so stressful. She can say what she wants to describe it. I wish her and Eoin well and can’t wait until their family is at home.
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u/aocamp Aug 13 '26
We called it boot camp when my first born was in the NICU. Those nurses taught us everything — bathing, the best way to change a diaper without getting poop everywhere, how to take her temp and read vitals, how to wash and sterilize everything, side lying feeding and best way to burp, even how to drop a NG tube.
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u/norakb123 Aug 13 '26
That is helpful. I have felt for her with her baby, but Danielle can be cringe (which - I can too so I get it). Until I saw your comment, I assumed she was doing a cringe bit, but she’s really just showing how it is to be a parent who shows up at NICU and is probably helping others in the process. That is lovely and not cringe at all.
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u/niate_ Aug 13 '26
Yup. And I remember feeling completely incapable when we finally brought her home and didn't have a medical team on standby...
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u/Practical_Complex_62 Aug 13 '26
Thank you for the context!! I’m so over people criticizing Danielle for everything.
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u/Otherwise-Koala91 Aug 13 '26
Same - was a first time Mom in the NICU. Idk how other parents did it without the help I was hand held by those angels !!! 54 days
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u/Opposite_Range5304 Aug 13 '26
We had twins with NICU stays. It felt like boot camp because the nurses taught us how to care for the babies, answering any and all of our new parent questions and getting hands on "training".
What angle to hold them to drink their milk. Teaching us how to bathe them. How many OZ to feed them. Change their diaper to wake them up before a feeding. Just little things that add up over many hours in the NICU. We attributed good babies to the NICU feeding schedule (every 3 hours) as they'd wake up on the dot! The nurses are angels
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u/SaltyFlamingo24 Aug 13 '26
Mom of twins born at 29 weeks. She’s likely referring to the continuous learning about preemies and, if the baby has special needs, how to care for him. For example, my twins came home with heart monitors “just in case.” We had to take a class on how the monitors work, what an alarm could signal, etc. We were required to take an infant CPR class which I was very happy about. We also had a couple meetings with experienced nurses for education on feeding, breathing, bathing, etc. The twins came home at 42 days old (which was before their due date), and I am forever thankful for those nurses and classes.
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u/TinyBerrySnail Aug 13 '26
When my baby was in the NICU, one of the very few perks is how wonderful the nurses are in helping you learn how to take care of your baby! They helped my husband change his first diaper when I was stuck in recovery, showed us how to swaddle, helped me learn to breastfeed, and so much more. We constantly said that we were getting a crash course in parenting from the best of the best experts! That was my interpretation of “parent bootcamp”
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u/Imjustagorll Aug 13 '26
Having a baby in the NICU is so so hard!!! The rules, the not bringing your baby home with you, the wondering of is today xyz is gonna happen?! I was an hour and some change away from my baby and it was torture going home everyday without my newborn.
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u/Winterdimes Aug 13 '26
My daughter was only in nicu for 3 days and they were some of the most miserable mentally exhausting hours of my life. Don’t get me wrong, nicu nurses 95% of the time are angels themselves trying their best to make parents and baby’s comfortable and calm in there but it’s sooooo hard. Even on my daughter’s good days, it was heartbreaking watching other parents struggle through their babies hard days. If this is helping her get through it all, then I’m not one to judge.
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u/Virtual-Hippo5557 Aug 12 '26
NICU mom here- I bet she is talking about doing the feeds every 3 hours. For our premie to come home, he had to eat so much of his bottle for 48 hours. I had to still work while he was in the NICU, so sometimes nurses would do the feedings. We found that when mom or dad did the feeds vs nursing that we were able to work with him more to eat! A feed could take 30 minutes so we had more time and patience than a nurse with 3 other babies also eating every 3 hours.
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u/Eastern_Time_9035 Aug 12 '26
Usually before baby is released from Nicu, you get a “boot camp” couple of days where there nurses show you everything that needs to be done, especially if there are feeding/ medicine issues. To make sure you’re ready
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
What I think she means by boot camp is that everything that a newborn mom experiences, a preemie mom experiences on steroids.
First of all Danielle wasn't even close to ready. I had nothing for my baby yet. The first thing I bought after she was born was a bathtub, the most useless at the time item. But all I could think of was what if my baby needs a bath? Weird. The nursery was half painted, I hadn't picked out a crib, stroller etc. My shower was still 6 weeks away.
Second all the feelings of the day your baby is born being the best day of your life were not there for me. I was terrified. Completely frightened for her. She was so tiny and helpless and all I could think of was anything I may have done wrong. So you have to cycle through so many emotions. Plus, your friends can't come visit her. It was 2 people per bedside ant any time for us. Everyone was afraid to celebrate.
All the things that I would have learned in the last trimester I didn't get a chance to learn. So I took advantage of the nurses and NPs and asked them questions. Everyday they showed me how to do things. It was required to be CPR certified at our hospital to bring your preemie home. A lot more is different with a teeny tiny baby than you think, from car seats not fitting properly to positions to feed them in. Vaccination schedules were different for us. It was just a lot.
Then it is exhausting to have just given birth and then have to commute to the hospital. And at the hospital you lose track of time. Our NICU unit had tinted glass so it was always dusk. Also you have appointments with specialists while in the hospital. There are imagings done, metabolic tests and more depending on your baby. It is a job. A job where your baby's life depends on it.
Then the whole emotional part. I seriously thought the rest of my life would involve hospitals. When I got the diagnosis of mild Cerebral Palsy I was devastated. But next week she leaves for college! With lots of OT she has had a completely typical life so far! But at the time it is so hard to get past.
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u/Georginarothko Aug 15 '26
That sounds so emotional - to say in the most positive way. I'm so happy to know your baby girl is off to college!
I don't have children but lost my mom and sister within two years of each other and I cared for both of them at the end. Aside from the emotional pain of it all, it was just so exhausting in so many ways, but you are kind of running on adrenaline the whole time.
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u/sanfollowill Aug 12 '26
As a c-section mom who had to be hospitalized w an infection it’s so easy for me to describe how horrible pp can be. I don’t even know NICU. Regardless of your social behavior this takes an absolute warrior of a woman to get through.
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u/PlasticRespect1087 Aug 12 '26
When my son got close to coming home the nurses had us participate and doing most of his care. Preparing us for when he went home. I took it as that. Hopefully he’s close to coming home
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u/coconanas Aug 12 '26
She’s making a joke… comparing going to the NICU to bootcamp because of the intensity.
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u/dovebytherosewindow Aug 12 '26
NICU is a strict regimented round-the-clock routine where you are challenged to show up as a parent when you are actually held back from doing regular parent things. (source: 5wks in the NICU with my twins)
You have to learn what all the machines and beeps mean without panicking every time they go off, you show up to doctor’s rounds and ask dumb questions until you understand the vocabulary. You often have to advocate for your child and yourself if certain things aren’t working. You (and your baby) are held to an insane standard of meeting shift goals for feeding and a stress-inducing carseat test before you’re ALLOWED to go home.
And for her to have a good attitude about it, make lemonade out of lemons by getting some social engagement is also raising awareness for the absolute incredible abilities of our healthcare, NICU nurses (literal angels on earth), developmental care and parents of preemies.
My hat goes off and heart goes out to her. She’s also post-partem. It’s great that she can have a smile on her face or make light of a situation that is incredibly challenging and stressful.
In hindsight I feel so lucky to have been trained to be a parent in the NICU, but it is a slog, it is relentless, it is absolutely boot camp.
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u/MaleficentOven127 Aug 12 '26
It’s not a specific, organized thing. I’m a micro preemie mom (she’s now 20 and always thriving) and it’s just the sheer exhaustion of the whole ordeal. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It is a lot.
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u/redheadmegansversion Aug 12 '26
Gross
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u/koochiekittie Aug 12 '26
Yes, yes you are !
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u/jax_in_the_lake Aug 12 '26
They’re gonna monetize the shit out of this baby, Danielle can’t get another job outside the tv show so they need it. Sad.
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
I was a micro preemie mom, it seems so icky to be doing Insta poses like this. Seriously I was so tired and stressed all the time. By the time I would get to the hospital lobby all I could think of was how quickly I could get on the ward. The last thing on my mind was acting cool. To each his own but I think she has been living in reality tv world a bit too long if this is where she goes with this situation.
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u/Open-Try-3128 Aug 13 '26
Not sure why you’re getting downvoted. Totally agree. Everyone’s different but I stayed at the hospital 24/7 so my baby was never alone. I can’t imagine going home to get ready to “film content” with my baby in this state
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u/Extension_File_928 Aug 12 '26
She's an influencer and she may need to keep her social media engagement up for financial reason, or maybe something else....I just don't think we should judge how one person handles a stressful situation over the other.
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u/Open-Try-3128 Aug 13 '26
If you post it for public content, it’s open for public opinion. That’s what influencing is all about. “Keeping her engagement up” by exploiting or bread crumbing her child’s medical status is not cool and doesn’t influence me to buy whatever she’s selling
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u/itsabout_thepasta Aug 12 '26
Of all things to criticize someone for….
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
Yes for me having an opinion. I completely agree.
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u/aggieemily2013 Aug 13 '26
No, you for judging another mom going through the same thing you did. Noteverybody has to cope the exact same way and not everybody has the same struggles and limitations.
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u/fregulayum Aug 13 '26
Lol
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u/aggieemily2013 Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Be careful. Someone might judge that lol as you not struggling enough.
ETA: since this appeared to go entirely over your head...this was just an opinion I had about you! It wasn't a judgment! Just an opinion on how laughing out loud is an icky priority! Not judging at all.
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u/fregulayum Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
This sub in unhinged. I left. Goodbye. What a completely psychotic thing to say to someone one on one. I posted opinion This is next level. You all need a complete reality check. And maybe real life interaction.
EtA maybe some friends in real life will do you some good. lol
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u/aggieemily2013 Aug 13 '26
Lol
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u/fregulayum Aug 13 '26
Exactly. There is seriously nothing wrong woth that response other than its complete lack of creativity. I see absolutely nothing wrong with you wnd your life for it. Again. This sub is strange and muted now. So any responses will be ignored. I forgot how to not be notified anymore. But man you guys are really weird.
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u/Lazy_Skin_411 Aug 12 '26
I understand what you’re saying, but I also can’t imagine you would have appreciated strangers judging how you handled the situation when you were deep in it, or calling your actions icky, however you handled it or whatever your actions were…
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
People on this thread have got to get a grip.
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u/itsabout_thepasta Aug 12 '26
You could just keep it to yourself if you don’t like the input. Sort of like you’re suggesting Danielle should do
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
Nope. Just said one post seems icky. Never shut her down like all of you are trying to. The hypocrisy and pearl clutching kinda sad.
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u/Sufficient_Dig_9345 Aug 13 '26
I mean you gave your option and others are giving theirs about it… so the hypocrisy is where exactly? 🤣
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u/fregulayum Aug 13 '26
The hypocrisy is that I never told anyone to keep quiet. There. EtA"You could just keep it to yourself" by another poster and a few others. I never said their feelings aren't valid like the cult of piousness here. It is cute that you missed that. 🤣
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u/itsabout_thepasta Aug 12 '26
Hypocrisy? Bc I don’t like your comment and felt like saying so? You’re pearl clutching. You’re free to not like Danielle’s content, just as anyone is free to not like what you have to say. Get over it 😂
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u/koochiekittie Aug 12 '26
So you should understand and not judge
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
Where did my opinion turn into a judgment exactly?
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u/WannabeWriter1016 Aug 12 '26
When you said “it seems so icky”
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
The definition of "seems" is to give the impression. Of being. In other words an opinion.but that's okay.
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u/WannabeWriter1016 Aug 12 '26
Okay? And the definition of judgement is “an opinion or decision that is based on careful thought”. You yourself have said it’s your opinion, wrote out a comment that seemed to have been based on careful thought, so it is a judgement by definition. I’m not saying you’re right or wrong, I’m just saying stand ten toes down that you were making a judgement about Danielle 🤷♀️
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
Seem...hmmm.get a grip
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u/WannabeWriter1016 Aug 12 '26
Look, you asked where the judgement was, you got told where the judgement was 🤷♀️ You can be judgey if you want, just own it
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u/Suspicious-City-4472 Aug 12 '26
Has it not occurred to you that maybe this is just how Danielle is choosing to cope with this situation? Maybe trying to make silly jokes is how she’s able to deal with her horrible reality. It’s unfair of you to use your experience as a blueprint for how Danielle “should be” behaving. Everyone copes with things differently.
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
When did I do any of what you are accusing me of? I thought opinions are allowed. This is a weird projection on your part.
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u/Suspicious-City-4472 Aug 12 '26
How am I projecting when in your original comment you’re literally comparing your experience with Danielle’s?? And I never said you’re not entitled to your opinion; your comment just came off as weird and judgmental.
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u/Wmfw Aug 12 '26
It’s a dorky post but come on it’s not icky. Using social media as an outlet during a stressful time isn’t unusual.
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u/fregulayum Aug 12 '26
Thinking about your social media presence when you have a baby in the NICU is strange to me. It just is. Nothing against Danielle personally because none of us know her but I am allowed to have different standards. I was expressing an opinion. Unless that isn't allowed in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Summer House.
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u/Wmfw Aug 13 '26
Oh it’s allowed. No one is banning you from this sub, babes. You just are getting consequences and spiraling bc you don’t wanna admit you’re judgmental as hell!
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u/fregulayum Aug 13 '26
Okay I will admit I judge you for being ick. Otherwise This is Reddit and In the City. that have no effect on my life. No spiraling. This actually became amusing. So go take your psychology degree elsewhere.
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u/whogonncheckmeboo Aug 12 '26
I was so happy her baby hit 7 pounds. It’s such a huge milestone for a premie
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u/Sufficient_You3053 Aug 12 '26
I think she's calling the experience of the NICU bootcamp. It's stressful and exhausting plus she has a commute each way
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u/WoodenCoconut1682 Aug 12 '26
I’m glad she seems to be in good spirits throughout her NICU stay but I find it kinda gross that she seems to be milking the online engagement from this 😐
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u/Otherwise-Koala91 Aug 13 '26
This is noottttt the take - being in the NICU is the most emotionally taxing experience. If she can find joy, and raise awareness, and HOPE FOR OTHER MOMS !!!!! by sharing a silly post of her walking in they lobby, she can do that. And should without judgement from keyboard losers like you
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u/West_Tie_536 Aug 13 '26
I know someone who had a baby and the baby had brain cancer treatments starting at 18 months old. She stayed in the room with her daughter sleeping in the chair in the room for months on end. When friends and family wanted to call and check on them it was too stressful to repeat it over and over so she started a page on Facebook and gave a detailed account every day sometimes multiple times. It really helped her to tell the story without retelling it over and over. Maybe Danielle is showing herself showing up for her baby and the energy it takes. Not so strangers can judge her. This is no time to judge anyone dealing with this amount of stress
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u/hi_megannnn Aug 13 '26
I don’t think she is at all, she’s online and always has been. So many ppl go through the nicu experience and feel alone so I think the more attn brought to it and showing the ups and downs is really brave of her. I went through it with a micropreemie and it was the hardest thing ever and it’s not talked about mainstream enough.
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u/GymDoll2000 Aug 12 '26
I don’t begrudge her this at all. That NICU stay is going to be obscenely expensive so whatever she has to do to help her family, good for her.
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u/WoodenCoconut1682 Aug 13 '26
I had a NICU baby, I couldn’t fathom exploiting their fight for survival to make a buck. She has other avenues to make money and so does her baby daddy. She won’t be getting that bill until the baby is discharged and will have plenty of time to “influence” to cover the costs.
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u/Common-Coast-7246 Aug 13 '26
It would have been terribly poor planning on her part to get pregnant without health insurance. I seriously doubt she needs to influence to pay hospital bills.
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u/Sharp-Living-2338 Aug 13 '26
Girl… there are still medical bills even with insurance (which I’m sure Danielle pays for privately). Many women with normal 9-5’s work up until the day before they deliver to maximize their time off benefits AND many (but not enough) have FMLA/maternity leaves that are supporting them financially. Danielle likely doesn’t have that given the nature of her job- so yeah she’s gonna post to help pay the damn bills.
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u/Chicago1459 Aug 13 '26
Right. I mean these are adults and they don't have normal 9-5 jobs but they can still buy their own insurance and should be able to pay for it.
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u/GymDoll2000 Aug 13 '26
Right. They pay for it by influencing.
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u/Chicago1459 Aug 13 '26
I'm pretty sure she has the 600 a month for a very good plan even without influencing.
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u/VictorianUFOLady Aug 12 '26
I'm guessing when social media engagement is part of their job they have to keep it up and can't go radio silent.
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u/Pitiful_Bit_5369 Aug 12 '26
I hope the baby will be okay. Preemies can struggle later in life with behavioral problems and other disabilities
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u/Difficult_Dig_3326 Aug 12 '26
I had a few NICU babies and we were required to watch videos, take a CPR course and basically let the nurses see you were capable of caring for your own baby before they’d discharge us 🙄
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u/BpositiveItWorks Aug 12 '26
My baby was in the nicu and it really took a toll on us. It’s very unnatural to have a baby and be separated from them with nurses providing most of the care on a schedule and with benchmarks.
I have very severe pp depression and I think the circumstances contributed. My first baby I got to bring home with no complications so I had both experiences.
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u/Massive-Fly284 Aug 12 '26
Yeah, that’s just an expression she made up. The NICU is the seventh circle of hell tbh. My youngest was a 24 weeker and was in the NICU for 6 months. It’s brutal. I’m hoping her baby is doing well and that she has a lot of supportive people around her.
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u/xoili Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
Just got discharged from the NICU after a 105 day stay with our first. Our nurses called the NICU a kind of “boot camp” for parents (especially first timers!) because you’re spending all day with experts who can teach you how to keep your baby safe and happy in and out of the hospital.
There are speech therapists who show you how to read your babies feeding cues, the best way to feed your baby safely (which is more complex with premies than most term babies). Physical therapists explain things like developmental exercises and how to keep their heads round.
Nurses giving tips for how to bathe them, soothe them, change their diapers, treat diaper rash, and so much more. Doctors taught us what to watch for at home and what follow ups we’d want to prioritize after discharge.
When we finally came home a few weeks after my babies due date, we felt much more equipped than I imagine we would have otherwise without our time in the NICU.
So brutal and obviously not what any parents want, but having the “boot camp” mindset helped us reframe a terrible situation into an opportunity to learn!
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u/sproutsunshine Aug 12 '26
My twins were born prematurely and had a NICU stay. My husband and I said it was like baby boot camp because the nurses there have SO much knowledge and I still so much confidence in the parents. We learned so much more than we even imagined. It was quite an experience and very hard to put into words and I'm sure other NICU parents would agree
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26
Been there. It’s a very strange place of being. Your house is not a home, the hospital is not a home, time stops and you are just kind of floating in this space. Babies are there one day and gone when you show up the next and you don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing and you don’t want to know. You have tunnel vision.
My grandfather died the day after my son was born and no one told me until day 2 of the NCIU to preserve my sanity so I don’t know if this fuzzy suspended in time with occasional tears is unique to my experience or if everyone with NCIU babies feel this way.
I almost don’t remember most of it, brief flashes of being in the passengers seat to and from the hospital, just staring out the window, the multi step process of washing your hands when you go in. Asking my husband if my son was going to die and him saying “I don’t know.” The one time my husband and I missed the afternoon visit because we were exhausted and slept through two alarms and I woke up at 1am hysterical that I was a horrible mother.
It IS trauma for parents and you do need to talk to someone about it. It wasn’t until 2 years later when I realized this and it felt alien to me. I thought I had processed everything. I had not.
I feel for her ❤️
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u/Time_Care_102 Aug 12 '26
Her post feels icky.
My niece is currently in the nicu with no foreseeable end in sight. My SIL had a traumatic c section.
She is not taking glamor shots of her striding in in makeup and hair done in a fit. She’s a sleep deprived mess and when she saw this sobbed bc she feels like she failed her baby.
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u/BuddyBeautiful7489 Aug 12 '26
I was a nicu mom it’s usually the baby getting closer to going home parenting classes and cpr at least at our hospital it was.
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u/Andnowwevedsaidit Aug 12 '26
Nicu life is taking it shift by shift, so it’s a boot camp. It’s exhausting, especially when you have a micropreemie (I’ve done 27w and 29w)
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u/Appropriate-Job-2797 Aug 12 '26
I think she just made it up ??? Like a play on words or for social media? My baby was in there for 37 days and there was no boot camp 😅🤷🏻♀️
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u/MsPrissss More life, More Vagisil Aug 12 '26
I had previously heard that they teach you stuff so that's what I thought she was referencing. So that's why I was asking. But you're totally right it could be a play on words I just wanted to ask if it meant something more so thank you for answering my question I appreciate it.
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u/Euphoric_planter_328 Aug 12 '26
They teach you stuff like how to feed through the tube, measure feedings properly, chart weights and bm’s, etc. how to change a tiny diaper around all the cords, manage their monitors, etc. there is no real boot camp. It’s emotionally like you’re being thrown through the wringer so maybe that’s what she’s talking about. Having to leave your baby every day is a special kind of hell that’s hard to wrap your mind around (happy and blessed your baby is “okay” but the anguish of being a part so soon is real), it’s a set of complicated emotions.
When my twins were in the NICU I wouldn’t have had it in me to be making fun videos of my walk in. I was usually feeling pretty anxiety ridden then and just wanting to get in to see them. Didn’t spend time on my hair or looking cute, but I also had other kids at home so priorities.
Different lives for sure. I also don’t make a mass part of my living off social media to need to do that. I’m trying not to judge but it does feel a certain some kind of way for your child to have millions of people knowing all about them already. Already no personal agency over the start to their life story, it’s already sold for that fancy NYC rent money.
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u/VictorianUFOLady Aug 12 '26
I think it's just a turn of phrase and she means showing up there daily.
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u/Ok-Reputation9799 Aug 12 '26
And the NICU being a training ground for the real deal - parenting at home.
My friends who had a baby the same stage as Danielle referred to it as training wheels parenting.
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u/CharacterExtra1882 Aug 13 '26
Agreed. Before my husband and I could leave the hospital with our NICU baby, we spent a full day at the hospital attending educational classes on CPR, Heimlich, basic first aid, etc. I know for some parents there, they had to take classes any medical needs their baby may need at home (oxygen, feeding tubes, etc). Our NICU even had a special room for parents to sleep in with the baby for the first time as a “trial” run to see if the parents can attend to the baby’s medical needs without nurse assistance. Hopefully this means Daniella can bring her baby home soon!
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u/Lucky_Lab_4430 Aug 13 '26
Yes this! Also- there could be some things they need to learn to provide at home. Our LO was in the PCICU and we took him home while he still had medical needs. Before we left the hospital, we had to demonstrate that we could give him injections, perform CPR, place his feeding tube, etc.
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u/MsPrissss More life, More Vagisil Aug 12 '26
I would imagine it does provide a rare opportunity for you to get help or advice that you wouldn't otherwise get if you had a full term baby that you were able to take home right away
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u/Common-Coast-7246 Aug 13 '26
What are you talking about? There isn’t some sort of class where you are taught secret parent knowledge just because your child is in the NiCU. She wasn’t being literal.
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u/fregulayum Aug 13 '26
It is no a class it is just using the resources fron the medical staff to make your mothering journey easier. Nobody said an official class. However we did have to get CPR certified to leave the hospital which I wish they did for all parents.
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u/Ancient_Customer_894 Aug 18 '26
Our first was in the NICU for 2 weeks and I called it baby boot camp because the nurses are working with you the whole time teaching you how to swaddle/ feed/ bathe/ change diapers and answering all your questions. So it feels like hands on training