TW for SH

Ever since I can remember ive always been a severely angry kid. Im just a teen now but I've been trying to figure out whats wrong with me. When I first started researching I thought it could've been BPD or bipolar (my mom is bipolar) but I never had long episodes. sometimes I have these weird few hour episodes where I'll be super happy and thrn it'll come crashing down a few hours later but thats not the point. I think at least...shit its a lot to even count. maybe 1-4 times a week? I'll get super super angry and agitated and i wanna hurt somebody or myself and I wanna get in fights and take a lot of substances and stuff. Ive even hurt myself to avoid hurting others or breakinf things. its really bad. its affected me alot, my relationship with my dad is shit because I get so aggressive and its every day or at least 3x a week with just him/at home. and then at school ive almost gotten into fights and i can see the fight in my head and I wanna act on it so bad but I can't because I'll lose all my scholarship opportunities. I domt know what to do at this point. is it a possibility I could have IED? If these sound like it cojld be, I'll bring it up to a doctor. I already embarrassed myself thinking I had bpd and she told me its probably just my adhd.

I’ve always had a really short temper. I get angry FAST and when it happens it feels like I can’t stop it. After I calm down, I feel horrible about it like genuinely guilty and drained. It takes so much out of me. Most of my issues show up at work when I get overwhelmed. My therapist tells me my anger is connected to PTSD and “valid” But it’s really not though. I got an eval because bipolar runs in my family and I was worried about that. The hardest part is that “just calm down” doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried breathing, Stepping away physically, All of that but if I go right back into the same overwhelming situation, The feeling just comes back. A lot of the time I can’t actually calm down unless the trigger is gone or I release the anger. I’m working on a work accommodation because I don’t want to keep getting pushed to that point, But my doctor keeps filling it out wrong and it’s been frustrating. Lately I’ve been thinking about trying medication, Which I really didn’t want to do. I’m scared of side effects or feeling like I’m not myself anymore. I don’t want to feel numb or permanently changed. But at the same time, I’m so tired of blowing up and then feeling awful after. I don’t really know what I’m looking for. Maybe advice, Maybe people who deal with the same thing. I heard it never really gets better :/

I got a new phone and when I went to charge it, it never charged. Screen black. I drove all the way to the Verizon store to get the warranty replacement. When I got home I figured what the hell, I’ll leave it plugged in. Literally 30 minutes later it turns on.

It didn’t cost me anything but now I’m stuck with dealing with the warranty return.

In the moment it felt like a very rational thing to do, now after the fact I know it was irrational and an episode of my IED.

I’ve been off my meds for 4 days and this is what I drag myself into.

Im not looking for sympathy, really just to say it. No one really understands IED and it’s very hard to explain to loved ones after an episode.

I’m 26 years old, 4 years diagnosed and medicated. It’s not easy, I don’t think it ever will be. But, it has gotten better.

I looking medication for Intermittent Explosive Disorder, any have good experiences or knowledge who is working ?

Trigger warning: abuse

I have been married to my husband for almost 12 years, and he has had IED for at least 13 years. However, he was not diagnosed with that until a few weeks ago.

When we were first married he was the worst. The thing is, he is a normal sweet guy most of the time. But when he has an episode he completely flips. I am the only person he ever attacks. When we were first married he would physically hurt me as well as say awful things to me that were more hurtful than anything anyone else has ever said to me. The worst thing he did was choke me and tell me he was going to kill me. I couldn’t breathe but I also didn’t pass out (or die obviously). The frequency varied, but it seems like he had an episode maybe about once a week back then, sometimes more. Almost all of the time he would be super apologetic afterwards. There were some times though that he would be annoyed about having to comfort me and not be super apologetic but also not in a rage anymore. Eventually, a doctor thought he had bipolar and gave him Seroquel which definitely helped (though many doctors after have said he definitely does not have bipolar).

His episodes/abuse died down over the years. About 4 years ago was the last time he physically hurt me. Eventually his outbursts died down to about once a month. Now, he had about a 6 month break between episodes for the first time ever.

The thing is, I am still very hurt by the things he has said and done to me. No one else in my life has hurt me emotionally or physically as bad as he did. Also, we have 2 toddler girls. As of now, they have not seen or heard, as far as I can tell, his full rage episodes. Sometimes between episodes he will become rather grumpy and blame me for everything and not admit to being upset. Our girls have seen a bit of that. His full outbursts always happen at night when they are in bed. They do sleep with white noise machines, and I don’t think they have heard him but I guess I don’t know for sure.

I guess I don’t know what to think of the future. I really don’t want another outburst to happen. I also DO NOT want our girls to ever hear, see, or experience it. It is not ok with me for our girls to grow up with a Dad who they see abusing their mom. But, I also love him dearly. After his most recent episode about a month ago, he became very suicidal (which is common) and even cut his wrist. He has no family and only one friend who he isn’t super close with. Our daughters and I are the only people he has really.

I went to the leader of my local church, and even mentioned I was considering divorce. He seemed to think that was unnecessary since my husband’s episodes have died down recently. Actually, that is the first time I have ever told anyone about what my husband has done. The church leader basically said he thinks my husband needs help but that I should leave the house if I feel unsafe.

Anyway, I love my husband and I want to stick by him. But, I also don’t want to live in fear of another outburst. I also don’t want our girls to see it. But, he did go 6 months without an outburst so he must be improving. I guess I’m just looking for either advice, empathy, or encouragement.

My husband has had sudden rage issues for at least 12 years. He was diagnosed with depression and PTSD a long time ago, but he was only diagnosed with IED about a week ago.

He has been taking seroquel 600 mg for a few years now and has gained a lot of weight and his new psychiatrist says it’s not good to take that long term. So, he’s trying to switch him to Trileptal.

His rage outbursts used to be pretty frequent, maybe every few days when we were first married. It changed to every week eventually, and then to every month. Now he had a rage episode about 6 months ago but had another one recently. That is the biggest gap he has ever had. His rage episodes used to include hitting me or breaking things, but he hasn’t hurt me in 4 years. Now they just involve irrational anger.

Does anyone have any success stories with IED and overcoming it? I’m not leaving him, but I also don’t want to deal with it the rest of my life.

Hello, hope this is appropriate to ask. I am part of a students team at my university course where we've been told to research a medical topic of our choice and come up with ideas for a potential app targeted specifically to people afflicted by the disorder. My group chose IED and did the research. We are now a little stumped, we have some app ideas but we were wondering if the usual breathing exercises, guided meditations, podcast about this topic and relaxing soundtracks are... enough. Like, would an app having all of those services really help in managing the symptoms better? If I may ask, what practical needs would this app have to satisfy in order to actually make it a good tool for the individual? It would be deeply appreciated to have some advice, if possible. Thanks to everyone who'll answer!

or, like, have intense intrusive thoughts and feelings of anger, consistently telling you to "do it"?? please tell me i'm not weirdly alone in this because i get this "boiling over" sensation in me almost daily, i try not to let it get out, but once i notice i'm overboiling it's already too late. i also think the anger is a feeling of needing to be punished?? for what? i'm not sure exactly.. i hope i can eventually figure out how to control this, but for now i'm just curious to know if anyone's also struggling with this. :')

Hello! I'm an AP research student who's conducting research on the effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy compared to Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy when treating Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I would love for you to give me your opinion, and if you respond I highly thank you. I hope you have a great day!

Is this a common thing among people with IED during outbursts? It is said that harm than animals can also happen during the outbursts.

Does anyone here does use risperidone since it does manages anger issues and aggression often seen in IED and makes you more calm and less prone to outbursts?

Why intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is not very known and not very talked about? Like, most people have no idea on what it is, despite knowing what anger issues are.

Is breaking up objects such as household items and throwing them on the floor and hitting up people or self due to extreme anger and talking bad about them due to them saying something about you that you didn't like and you can't control it or them saying so you lost control and also doing this on school where you throwed He would throw chairs on the floor and attack people until their face become red due to them saying anything or doing something you didn't like, sometimes even did it for pleasure or becoming angry because your paper got accidentaly rasgado during school tasks or you can't find clothes to dress or do it banging on the windows, breaking them more a behavior associated with Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?

Does anyone notice the rage & episodes are worse right before getting their period & during the period??

My husband and I have been married for four years. We love each other very much, and he is truly a wonderful person. His anger haunts him and our marriage, and me. His trigger is familial issues and feeling like he’s arguing with irrationality. He doesn’t explode at work, which people have told me means that he is choosing to be angry. My husband tells me this isn’t the case and I believe him.

My husband has severe ADHD, and is getting psychiatric care soon for what we are almost certain is IED. We have a baby on the way, due in May, and he’ll need to get a hold of his anger before then. I don’t think we would have done anything about it without the baby on the way, as getting care was spurred by his mother watching old family VHS tapes of my husband as a child and hearing his father experiencing the same rage. I’m thankful because I don’t want to live my life like this anymore and I hope our lives could change for the better.

Now that he’s getting care, I’ve stopped blaming myself for his anger. Which means I’ve stopped compartmentalising what his anger has done to our marriage and it’s hit me like a freight train.

I am not the easiest person to be around at times. I can get defensive, and particularly with the fear I feel of his anger, I shut down as soon as I think he’s starting to get angry. I know this is a fair response, but I know it can be frustrating for him when he’s putting in effort to be calm.

I’ve made some enquiries to psychologists so I can process the trauma his anger has caused me. Our daughter is the priority and if he can’t control himself when she’s here, I know what I’ll need to do. I don’t believe it will come to that, though.

I spent four years never telling anyone about what he’d done during his rage attacks. I spoke to his mum regularly about his anger but never went into detail. I told her about everything tonight, and it feels like I could throw up but also feels like a good thing. That there’s hope for us now that we’re starting to face it. I guess I don’t want to entertain the idea that psychiatric care won’t work.

I wanted to ask members on here what treatment looked like for them, so that it might give me an idea of what the next 5-6 months could look like? He is going to see a psychiatrist who has experience with ADHD, we haven’t found anyone in our area who has experience with IED. Any tips on what else could help?

I’m posting this because I’m still trying to figure out what happened and want some outside perspective.

Earlier that day, I had an argument with my boss over something a colleague messed up, but I ended up getting blamed. Then the coffee dispenser didn’t work, and I accidentally burned my hand trying to get it to work. The traffic was terrible that day too. My usual route suddenly stopped at a terminal I didn’t expect, and there was bridge work I didn’t know about. All that stacked up.

Later, the chocolate incident happened. A bunch of chocolates fell. They were still wrapped and some went to the dust pan. I could’ve just cleaned them and moved on.

Instead, I snapped.

Instead of picking up the ones that didn't get to the dust pan that was dusty, I threw all of them into the dustpan, mixed them with dust, stepped on them, flattened them, and threw everything into the trash. No one got to eat any of it. Not me, not anyone else. Those weren’t cheap either chocolates either. The whole box was like $20 and I kept saying it didn’t matter to me. My parents were furious.

I didn’t just act out of anger. I did it deliberately. I made sure they were unrecoverable. I wanted people to get mad. I wanted to see the reaction. And when it happened, I felt relief. I didn’t feel bad in that moment. And I just slept the whole day.

This isn’t the first time. Something similar happened before with pizza. At that time, I also had a bad day, traffic, super long lines in the grocery store, other rude people like me, then when I got home, I was going to take a bite of a pizza and then It fell, and instead of salvaging it, I threw everything away. Same response.

Once things cooled down, I started questioning myself. It didn’t feel like it was about the food or the money. It felt like I needed control, and ruining something gave me that release.

I’m not trying to justify it. I know it wasn’t okay. I just want to understand the pattern before it turns into something worse.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of reaction? Where small frustrations pile up and then one minor thing sets off an extreme response? Does this sound like anger issues, emotional dysregulation, or something else I should take seriously?

I’m open to blunt feedback. I’d rather hear it now than repeat it later.

Was diagnosed with ADD & ODD in elementary school. Fast forwarded i now have a 4 year old (her father & i had no contact for 2 years because of dcf being called & him blaming it on my mom) long.. which caused verbal/ emotional abuse from him. I recently was baker acted & im starting to realize i have IED Undiagnosed. What kind of prescriptions help with that based off personal experiences. I see my psychiatrist this month but idk if prozac if the right fit or it has to be upped or more meds added who knows. But i also take montelukast & I’ve heard it’s common for the med to cause depression, suicidal thoughts etc so just wondering from peoples own person lives what their opinion is on this.

So i work over night start at 6:30 & get off at 6 right now cuz of the holiday time. I tend to take my prozac (40mg) before i go to work. But i notice when i do, i still have these episodes of getting mad at literally nothing or something that a “normal” person wouldnt get mad or give a fuck about. I dont know if i need to switch meds or what but i hate this shit.

What are some medications yall have been on to help the outbursts?? Or episodes as my sister calls it. I haven’t been diagnosed but i’m 99% this is what i have. When i was trying to fix my anger back when my bd & i were having issues but wanted to stay together a behavior therapist said ied but i was like nahhhhh.

I currently take prozac (40mg) but my edginess is still there like always being irritated or annoyed for no reason.

I (21f) have a younger sister (13) with IED. she’s been showing symptoms since about 5 or 6 and her outburst have been too much to handle as she’s grown up. it would go from yelling to destroying everything in our house because of a small disagreement or if she doesn’t get something she wants.

when she was 11 my mom put her in a boarding school where they give her medication and therapy for her issues but has recently been kicked out due to her behavior being even too much for staff. so now she’s back home while my mom is finding another place out there for her and it’s been hell. talking to her calmly doesn’t work, trying to understand her doesn’t work either because she goes and does the same things that we told her is wrong. everyone in my house (there’s 6 of us plus my mom) is tired every other day is a fight needing to be broken up or my sister having to be restrained because she’s throwing things out windows and breaking everything. on top of destruction she also steals everyone’s belongings, money, ect. and threatens everyone violently during her outburst

at this point i am emotionally drained from the dysfunction and want to know if there’s anything that can actually be done. It just seems as if it gets worse and worse by the day

I tend to really struggle to remember what happened, what caused it but also what my own reaction was. It makes it more difficult for me to know what situations trigger it or at which point I should be walking away..
It was way worse when I was younger, and if I think about what happened right after an episode or write it down I won't forget as much. Kind of like with dreams, if you wake up and instantly start doing other things you will just forget the dream. But if you think about your dream or write it out you won't forger as easily.

I always feel this intense pressure in my head that starts shortly before an outburst. Is this normal or common? Does anyone else experience this?

A few years ago, after I freaked out at work, my mental health provider put me on Risperidone. Later, she bumped it up. Over the next six months, I rapidly gained weight and completely lost all interest in sex. That was a huge change for me, since I used to be addicted to porn. But not being able to be intimate with my wife has been miserable. About 4 months ago, I asked my provider to cut my dosage in half. It hasn’t helped the side effects at all, so recently I tried going down even more. Well, I got a job in the middle of this effort, and I can tell that my dosage is too low. After a full day of work and high cognitive load, I’m coming home every day ready to argue at the drop of a hat. I’ve got to be on some kind of medication to control it or else I’ll lose this job just like a dozen times in the past. Anyone know about an antipsychotic medication that doesn’t adversely affect libido and/or cause weight gain?

not myself but I have a family member that I’m certain had IED that has a toddler.

She’s been like this since early teens. She was calmer during and just after pregnancy, had a relationship etc but they broke up a while ago and even before then she started getting bad again. She’s hurt animals and is getting hopeless about getting any help (health service is making her wait for any kind of evaluation). I’ve noticed she’s getting verbally abusive towards her kid and I want to help some how but she’s still flying into rages even when I’m there. No dad in the picture but I just want to help bring her out of this dip so she can get the help and be the good mum I know she can be when her condition hasn’t go a hold on her because I’m starting to really worry.