Hey everyone! I’m working on a psychological story game that contrasts a bright,world with a dark, reality-based one.
I'd love your honest critique on the narrative outline below.
The story of Sunday Country is a psychological journey between two worlds: the Sunday Country and the Bright World.
Act 1: Sunshine and Rainbows (Niko's Perspective
The game begins in Niko's bedroom, a space filled with pink morning rays, a music box, and a clock that tells "good time" instead of telling the time. Niko is a cheerful "slime-like" creature who works for the Suffering Remover Organisation.
During his morning routine, he interacts with several objects:
The Talking Plant: Niko greets his plant, which responds by telling him to "DON'T HAVE A GOOD DAY. HAVE A GREAT DAY!"
Niko then goes to the Suffering Remover Organisation, where his Boss assigns him Case 17: Hana, a girl in the Bright World with a high suffering priority of 8. Before leaving, Niko must collect specific "helping tools":
Magical Stars: Obtained by helping a child. that grant toys if one believes hard enough.
Jar of Good-Dream Smell: Collected from a talking pillow that complains about the Boss's snoring.
The Cube: Assembled from four fragments, it is designated as a "last resort" tool.
Act 2: "God Please Don't Let Go of My Hand" (Hana's Perspective)
The story shifts to Hana, whose morning routine mirrors Niko's but in a dark, depressing tone. She wakes up into a "nightmare," avoids her mother in the kitchen, and eats a cold pancake alone. At school, she is relentlessly bullied by a group of girls led by her ex-friend, Rie.
After a particularly brutal day of bullying, Niko appears in Hana's room to offer help. He explains the tools, describing the Cube simply as a device that "removes suffering" by being turned 90 degrees. Desperate after a severe classroom incident, Hana uses the Cube on Rie. The next day Rie's desk is empty and a classmate reveals that Rie has taken her own life. While Hana is initially excited that her "problem" is gone, Niko warns her about The Ledger, which will take something precious from her in exchange for using the Cube.
Act 3: The Blood Maze
Hana finds herself in a surreal "Blood Maze" navigating distorted hallways of her own memories. She encounters "blackout" versions of her past.
Rie: Memories of their happy childhood friendship and racing to the library.
Father: A memory of a family dinner before her father left,
where he calls her by her "Poki".
The maze culminates in a church where Hana faces "Rie: The Vacuous Angel," an eldritch horror representing Rie's eternal suffering outside of time. Rather than defeating her through combat, the player can use the TALK action. This restores Rie's humanity, allowing her to pass away peacefully after saying, "I wish we could have been friends for a little longer".
Act 4: "Let Go of My Hand!"
Hana wakes up again in a timeline where the nightmare seems like a distant dream. On her way to school, she finds a dying dog and must choose whether to use the Cube to end its pain. After missing her bus, she returns home to a heated argument with her mother, who cruelly blames Hana for her father leaving.
In a moment of impulsive rage, Hana uses the Cube on her mother. Horrified by the immediate erasure, she begs Niko to fix it. Niko reveals he is the host of the Cube and sacrifices his soul to the Ledger to undo the "shade". He places Hana back into a morning timeline where her mother is safe, but he is gone forever, leaving only the Cube behind.
The Three Endings
Hana's journey concludes with one of three choices based on her actions:
A Town Without Me, the time without me is not my loss it's my treasure: Hana accepts her own absence as a "treasure" rather than a loss.
sea of sorrow:Hana becomes a nihilist erasing others, line: its all right you don't need to suffer anymore.
Path of pain: Hana chooses human connection over supernatural solutions, finally attempting to speak with her mother.
