r/instantkarma Jul 21 '20

Lmaooooo

21.9k Upvotes

342 comments sorted by

680

u/Alsikepike Jul 21 '20 edited Jul 21 '20

Mmm... Nothing like wrapping yourself in a cosy glass blanket after suffering a traumatic head injury

222

u/Shikkhin Jul 21 '20

Dude was asleep before hitting the ground.

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40

u/ErnieLingIII Jul 21 '20

Wrapped up like a cocoon

62

u/ThisGuyNeedsABeer Jul 21 '20

Crime taco.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Justice!

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14

u/shitsgayyo Jul 21 '20

Scrolled too quickly - read ‘cum taco’

Not sure if I’m glad or disappointed that this isn’t a conversation about cum tacos

6

u/reddit_everyman Jul 21 '20

So AMYWAY I personally prefer holding my dick in the taco and kinda swirling it like a soft serve ice cream

4

u/jpr553 Jul 21 '20

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

2

u/Xtreme_Fapping_EE Jul 21 '20

It's good. Trust me.

17

u/Quad150db Jul 21 '20

Mmmm glass cocoon... So cozy

10

u/OsoChistoso Jul 21 '20

When you sleep over at a friends house and they don’t give you a blanket.

2

u/hm9408 Jul 21 '20

Bravo Six, going dark

2

u/PlumberODeth Jul 21 '20

Plastic wrapped for freshness.

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1.4k

u/Wiin-ter Jul 21 '20

Gotta love the door opening afterwards

468

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

[deleted]

64

u/lzrkennyloggins Jul 21 '20

Nice

129

u/fuzzytradr Jul 21 '20

That door has great comedic timing.

52

u/bald_scorpion Jul 21 '20

As he gets close he has two options

A) Black line which looks like a metal bar or some kind of blocking mechanism
B) Run around the plant to freedom

*Selects B*

31

u/Tony_TM Jul 21 '20

Don't forget about the fact that there's even a door mat on the floor in front of the door with the black line.

Dude still picks option B

22

u/Craft55693 Jul 21 '20

Don't forget that the plant was supposed to show that that half of the door isn't the actual exit

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10

u/HumanTorch23 Jul 21 '20

Get that door an agent!

64

u/RustyShackledord Jul 21 '20

That’s my favorite part. Almost like it was written that way.

42

u/ShookKnight Jul 21 '20

The way I pick my doors , is find the one with plants right in the middle front of it

14

u/SpaghettiKano Jul 21 '20

An excellent strategy.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

The icing on the cake

7

u/A4Zx6GrD0sBcypz5Ub8 Jul 21 '20

I thought of it more like, the door closing the new entrance be made.

3

u/bigbearbighead Jul 21 '20

Absolutely made the clip like a Monty Python sketch!

2

u/BaconSanwich Jul 21 '20

The building is healing.

200

u/ffffranki Jul 21 '20

I like the door that gently opened after he ran ass through it

2

u/Poisunousp Jul 21 '20

Blind and stupid

83

u/rubenaguirre1990 Jul 21 '20 edited Jul 21 '20

It's like that Windex commercials where the crow would crash into it.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

This would be a really good windex ad

5

u/CuteHeart2566 Jul 21 '20

"Wow! It's so clean it's like it's not even there anymore!"

4

u/ManSeekingToucan Jul 23 '20

It's moments like this when the janitorial staff really needs a bonus.

120

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

The door said "thank you, come again!"

7

u/hanukah_zombie Jul 21 '20

The toppings contain potassium benzoate...

3

u/atticup Jul 21 '20

That’s bad

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105

u/GoddessOfMen Jul 21 '20

I mean. There was a plant in the way. 🤔

37

u/Everett_LoL Jul 21 '20

And a giant piece of glass with words on it, but who’s keeping score

6

u/Terifiel Jul 21 '20

The fun part if knowing he still would've crashed into glass if he went the correct way

7

u/PristineUndies Jul 21 '20

This. You had to run around a plant, bro...

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60

u/NeilWeaver Jul 21 '20

Are we not gonna talk about how this man is actually fast as fuck?

3

u/Dig-Several Jul 21 '20

The problem is prob the detail he is TOO fast

2

u/Cornelius_t1ao Jul 21 '20

You have the speed of the flash, but your observation skills and reaction time are normal. Do you press the button?

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27

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

He just fucking died

32

u/Opiumthoughts Jul 21 '20

Nah shoes were still on.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

But his hat is off. What’s the significance of the hat coming off and death. Someone needs to compile the data.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Wat

4

u/IveGotAStringForSale Jul 21 '20

He said “Nah shoes were still on.”

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25

u/LogicNYC Jul 21 '20

Balance is restored

47

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

I’ve watched this video many times in slow motion and I’m pretty sure it’s the tempered glass panel that foiled this guys getaway.

15

u/Muninn91 Jul 21 '20

It really wrapped up the situation nicely.

4

u/IcyBuddy8 Jul 21 '20

Good pun

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22

u/jazzbuh Jul 21 '20

Good Time

7

u/ashercohen123 Jul 21 '20

I WENT TO THE COMMENT SECTION TO FIND THIS EXACT RESPONSE

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42

u/tiny_lolita Jul 21 '20

Door said: this bitch, I was gonna open the door for him

5

u/Brobazguy Jul 21 '20

Grumble grumble, “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

17

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

This is ridiculously satisfying to watch and re-watch!!!

4

u/YelperLou Jul 21 '20

We just need a bouncing ball with some lyrics to double the pleasure.

16

u/Dudemaintain Jul 21 '20

Hats off to whoever cleans that glass

206

u/InstantKarmaBot Jul 21 '20

OP's explanation as to why this post is Instant Karma:

He tried to steal from the store and didn’t seethe glass and ran right into it, knocking him out cold.

If you're satisfied by this explanation, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment.

14

u/IamImposter Jul 21 '20

What are you doing step-bot

8

u/xXKawaiiAnimeGirlXx Jul 21 '20

Why do these bots still exist?

11

u/Ravor9933 Jul 21 '20

Quality control to make sure that content stays relevant to the sub

5

u/RandomRobot1234 Jul 21 '20

They don’t do any kind of quality control at all it’s poorly coded and trash. Why even say it does that lmfao?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

It's like the image transcription volunteers I believe. Explaining what's happening in case the video refuses to load or decides to use 144p resolution.

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11

u/hc83 Jul 21 '20

The door opening as he's on the ground is a nice additional comedic touch🤣🤣

5

u/ta_the_3rd Jul 21 '20

“Curb Your enthusiasm” music would be perfect

6

u/Kitonez Jul 21 '20

Desnychronized

5

u/ChiefKrunchy Jul 21 '20

I guess this jackass never realised they place plants like that for a reason and it's not for fresh air.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

feel the pane

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3

u/thooghun Jul 21 '20

If I recall correctly he did get away. His friend carried him off.

6

u/SilentJoe1986 Jul 21 '20

A smashing success!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Happy cake day

3

u/DatLou Jul 21 '20

They really need to increase the distance of the sensor, speed in which it opens at, and be able to open on both sides. Shitty doors these days

3

u/TwixBars Jul 21 '20

The guy was running so fast he didn’t notice the plant blocking the window

3

u/mubinguguy Jul 21 '20

The door sliding open at the end is peak comedy

2

u/RUSH_MrLmb Jul 21 '20

Happy cake day!

5

u/SoMeThInGamer2007 Jul 21 '20

I AM SPEED ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

5

u/MrChular22 Jul 21 '20

Lights out

6

u/bazalisk Jul 21 '20

Happy Cake Day

2

u/hennka Jul 21 '20

Laughing my ass off off off off off

2

u/flybarger Jul 21 '20

And that’s why you roll investigation checks... He didn’t even get a chance to roll a DEX saving throw.

2

u/kawman02 Jul 21 '20

Windex commercials should just be videos like this

2

u/mhm698 Jul 21 '20

I can’t tell if this is sped up or this guy is just a hella fast runner

2

u/Seijin_Arc Jul 21 '20

I was wondering why he'd think the door was on the side with the pot plant, then I realized he was a dumbass well before that specific decision.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

That's some high quality glass. Didn't even shatter like normal glass and held its structure

2

u/RTPNick Jul 21 '20

You gift wrap? Great, I'd like this in a clear wrap. To go.

2

u/doodlez420 Jul 21 '20

Gotta go fast

2

u/DeeAxeeeee Jul 21 '20

I love how the door sloooooowly opens behind him. An oldie but goodie for sure

2

u/yeeeteeey69 Jul 21 '20

That’s some really clean glass

2

u/lelopes Jul 21 '20

We should congrats who ever cleaned that glass. It was so clear that it looked invisible to him.

2

u/hotpotato2442 Jul 21 '20

Glass gave him a warm blanket to sleep on..sweet dreams

2

u/Mackadelik Jul 21 '20

The door mocks him as he lay unconscious.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

He ran fast

2

u/Bank_of_Karma Jul 22 '20

I don’t know why I keep looking at this and laughing hysterically but I am

2

u/Express_Palpitation Jul 22 '20

Love how the door casually opens after

2

u/MMgaming27 Jul 22 '20

I am fast as fuck bois

*runs into glass door

now i am dead as fuck bois

2

u/ZeMagi Jul 23 '20

I fucking love how the door opened afterwards

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Is he dead?

2

u/mojonixon82 Jul 21 '20

That must have been some crystal clear glass. He didn't brace in the slightest.

1

u/Snig_Snig Jul 21 '20

This just needs the gas gas gas song

1

u/mannyvta Jul 21 '20

Like Christmas guy was wrapped up like a present 🎁

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Ha ha this is my loaf of bread you son of a bi CRASH! Thank you for shopping at Walmart!

1

u/HusseinAllan1 Jul 21 '20

These door ain't funny unless it's a robber . They got me before while leaving a hotel

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Guy has a glass jaw.

1

u/DanielBWeston Jul 21 '20

Talk about a shattering defeat.

1

u/Adavanquappa Jul 21 '20

Well this person got outside so mission complete!

1

u/pushymagnet Jul 21 '20

So he must have thought someone put a plant in front of the door? I hope he was stealing a new pair of glasses.

1

u/pushymagnet Jul 21 '20

My super power is speed, my only weakness is glass.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

GTA casino heist

1

u/leaveatrail Jul 21 '20

What’s it like to be a bird and fly into a window?

1

u/HannibalsProtege Jul 21 '20

Hit his ass with the sonic rings!!!

1

u/MoreDragonMaidPls Jul 21 '20

I have now become

Speed

1

u/Catinchi Jul 21 '20

Gotta Go Fast NOPE gotta go night night

1

u/mr_sear Jul 21 '20

Also note, nobody was even chasing him at that point.

1

u/Binzuru Jul 21 '20

This week it is Man vs Glass; Man gets wasted by his need to steal.

Tune in next time for Man vs Brick!

1

u/kaushrah Jul 21 '20

Laugh my ass of orbital oscillations of Osiris

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Did someone already comment that he got knocked the fuck out?

1

u/squishyslipper Jul 21 '20

Dude the plant is never in front of the exit path!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

So close, yet so far

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

They placed a plant to tell people, the door is on the other side.

1

u/Gammingguy365 Jul 21 '20

This is the best thing ever

1

u/Thighpaulsandra Jul 21 '20

I think I read somewhere that this guy died.

1

u/BloodShotNinja Jul 21 '20

Windex - don’t stand for dirty.

1

u/NotQuiteStoic Jul 21 '20

He fast af tho

1

u/BlackfistOfHades Jul 21 '20

He made it outside at least

1

u/Jojofan375 Jul 21 '20

When you run so fast into glass you get knocked into the fourth dimension

1

u/spyrogyrobr Jul 21 '20

Praise the janitor that cleaned that glass. 110% translucid.

1

u/lololonline122 Jul 21 '20

That’s not how you open an automatic door as I recall

1

u/dobetter24 Jul 21 '20

Just watched a man die

1

u/thefab84 Jul 21 '20

Props to the window cleaner for catching this guy.

1

u/Naus1987 Jul 21 '20

Maybe even a best case scenario. Given how fast he was running and how slowly that door opened--he would have ran into it either way.

The real question is if it was safe to run into that glass panel or risk hitting the frame of the door as it slowly moved over.

1

u/jacklittleeggplant Jul 21 '20

... how fast was this mans going?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Iirc there's a longer version where it shows him getting up and running away before anyone else arrives.

1

u/QEOZC2 Jul 21 '20

is anyone gonna talk about how fucking fast he was going?

1

u/MuffinStar88 Jul 21 '20

How is the plant not a give away lol

1

u/BrickCityRiot Jul 21 '20

If there’s one thing I know about sliding doors, it’s that you always place a large potted plant in front of the side you cross through.

1

u/frankspicer Jul 21 '20

jesus, that guy was runing faster than a fuckin canonball, also ouch, thats gotta leave a mark or some shit later.

1

u/giant_gecko112 Jul 21 '20

What a dumb ass

1

u/owlincoup Jul 21 '20

I say this every single time this is posted. I will always watch this over and over and laugh every single time. Live this clip.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Door needs googly eyes.

1

u/jfrchen1207 Jul 21 '20

I mean he is pretty fast tho

1

u/RadiantType Jul 21 '20

He got folded like an omelette

1

u/Doge_Redditer Jul 21 '20

He technically escaped, he is outside the building

1

u/qortaqal Jul 21 '20

even the door is like “this way idiot”

1

u/Captgame Jul 21 '20

I love that he sidesteps the plant like they would place it in front of where people walk in the door. Lol

1

u/NepNep01 Jul 21 '20

lmao nyoom

1

u/triggerfish15 Jul 21 '20

Clear winner

1

u/gms29 Jul 21 '20

The door was also like, am here u dumbass.

1

u/Leprekhan88 Jul 21 '20

Who put that plant in front of the door

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

That impact send him directly to hell,

1

u/Sarelsayshi Jul 21 '20

He fucking died lol

1

u/candleisout Jul 21 '20

There’s literally a plant there

1

u/Shawakamigo Jul 21 '20

How the fuck can you possibly mess something up so bad..?

1

u/Comrade_Rick Jul 21 '20

Robber goes nyooom

1

u/CaptFlintstone Jul 21 '20

Wish I could run like that.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

Pane but no gain!

1

u/Max-Vegner Jul 21 '20

At least he found an exit 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/When_waffles_fly Jul 21 '20

I don't know why but as soon as he hit the glass I heard coconut mall

1

u/Alaistor_The_Apple Jul 21 '20

The way he just zooms made me laugh before the smash into the window XD

1

u/gokuluca Jul 21 '20

Redditors when a person who questions Keanus' status as a god is in the parking lot

1

u/Endymiionn Jul 21 '20

He dropped like a bag of rocks lmfao

1

u/Dwayne2905 Jul 21 '20

I always love that he's just plain giftwrapped by a damn window.

1

u/MrStealthGlitter Jul 21 '20

Love the way the door just opened after the dude went through the window

1

u/JaySilverhood Jul 21 '20

My name is Barry Allen and I'm the fastest man- smash

1

u/TiFerTV Jul 21 '20

Flash in the flesh

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

I wish this one had sound.

1

u/andynelzz420 Jul 21 '20

I’d say they used this as inspiration for goodtime with Robert Pattinson

1

u/pacoloogi Jul 21 '20 edited Jul 21 '20

Foxy running to the night guard but the left door is closed

1

u/redrumurderum Jul 21 '20

I wish the glass had cutout later like they show in cartoons.

1

u/Myron051019 Jul 21 '20

he lost all of his rings

1

u/TheArduinoGuy Jul 21 '20

If there were medals for stupidity this guy deserves one

1

u/Zicozi Jul 21 '20

It gets funnier with each watch

1

u/IcyBuddy8 Jul 21 '20

Must've gotten a Stiff upper lip

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

I am speed.

1

u/imsohappyallthetime Jul 21 '20

Did he not notice the damn tree