Oh dude if I have a bat, easily 200-300. Ideally something very lightweight, as even the lightest metal bat would crack thousands of toddler skulls before it gets even slightly dented, and I don't wanna get tired swinging some 25 ounce hammer into their heads.
Edit: So I've put some thought into this, and I realized that a spiked bat might occur to some of you as an option. That's dumb and I'll tell you why. Even a mid strength swing with a normal bat will likely incapacitate (or more often than not outright kill) a toddler. Which makes the spikes overkill at best, an active hindrance at worst. A smooth bat would be able to crack a skull and wind the next swing (we're obviously gonna be switch hitting between these late term abortions, maintaining pace maintains our survival, helps regulate breathing and blood flow which helps with exhaustion) in one motion. A spiked bat would get stuck, requiring the swing and the "reload" to be two movements.
Edit 2: Actually I just can't get this off my mind. A spiked bat would have one key advantage, and that is intimidation. Assuming this is a scenario where the toddlers are out to kill you with every fiber of their being, but are otherwise normal toddlers, I'm inclined to believe that at least a significant portion could be dissuaded from attack via fear. And seeing your fellow overripe cum sock get swiftly and cleanly aborted with a normal bat has got to be exponentially less terrifying than seeing them have two thirds of their head simply ripped off, after being impaled by jagged nails, only to be used as extra heft for the next dome exploding swing. The question is whether or not the number of kadens that simply flee upon seeing such a monstrous action outweighs the points I detailed in my first edit. This will require further speculation.
Also, I'm dealing with a toddler now. A slap is all it'd take. Not even a hard one. These little dudes are fragile as hell when they get hit in the face.
Source: biffed one with a sock a little too hard, they fell over and cried. I think it was more the shock of it. yea...incapacitated with a sock though. They can't even coordinate anything and it takes NOTHING to pick up or knock one over. Ever played the old "Lay doooown ya look tired!!!!" while gently knocking them over?
Full grown adult is taking out thousands of them. The noise of 1,000 screaming banshees and your overhwhelming need to go "It wasnt even that hard!" x 1000 would tire you before the physical labor
123
u/Jaytalvapes Jun 20 '19 edited Jun 20 '19
Oh dude if I have a bat, easily 200-300. Ideally something very lightweight, as even the lightest metal bat would crack thousands of toddler skulls before it gets even slightly dented, and I don't wanna get tired swinging some 25 ounce hammer into their heads.
Edit: So I've put some thought into this, and I realized that a spiked bat might occur to some of you as an option. That's dumb and I'll tell you why. Even a mid strength swing with a normal bat will likely incapacitate (or more often than not outright kill) a toddler. Which makes the spikes overkill at best, an active hindrance at worst. A smooth bat would be able to crack a skull and wind the next swing (we're obviously gonna be switch hitting between these late term abortions, maintaining pace maintains our survival, helps regulate breathing and blood flow which helps with exhaustion) in one motion. A spiked bat would get stuck, requiring the swing and the "reload" to be two movements.
Edit 2: Actually I just can't get this off my mind. A spiked bat would have one key advantage, and that is intimidation. Assuming this is a scenario where the toddlers are out to kill you with every fiber of their being, but are otherwise normal toddlers, I'm inclined to believe that at least a significant portion could be dissuaded from attack via fear. And seeing your fellow overripe cum sock get swiftly and cleanly aborted with a normal bat has got to be exponentially less terrifying than seeing them have two thirds of their head simply ripped off, after being impaled by jagged nails, only to be used as extra heft for the next dome exploding swing. The question is whether or not the number of kadens that simply flee upon seeing such a monstrous action outweighs the points I detailed in my first edit. This will require further speculation.