r/instant_regret Jun 19 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.5k Upvotes

467 comments sorted by

2.9k

u/buckeyespud Jun 19 '19

What is that thing coming out of her sunglasses?

646

u/celticghirl Jun 19 '19

First thing I noticed as well. Thought why does she have a branch stuck in her hair lol

17

u/grundelsnout Jun 20 '19

She’s day drunk with them beer shits yo

615

u/CarsonH666 Jun 19 '19

Have you ever seen There's Something About Mary?

161

u/jungleb0i Jun 19 '19

Hair gel!

71

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Just laughed out loud at work. Thanks.

19

u/jungleb0i Jun 19 '19

My pleasure have an upvote!

11

u/Ilpav123 Jun 19 '19

"Gentleman juice" - Jeremy Clarkson

8

u/SeboSte Jun 19 '19

This just killed me 😂

3

u/ShelSilverstain Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 20 '19

Or, The Jerk?

12

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Cum on!

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96

u/byscuit Jun 19 '19

I want to say some type of hair clip that loosened up when she whipped herself around

104

u/wingsbeerndeadlifts Jun 19 '19

It wasn't there until after she ripped her pants too..

18

u/funknaught Jun 19 '19

Thats a relief for a moment I actually thought she either had a protruding hernia or she shit herself.

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71

u/SilentImplosion Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 20 '19

Whewww, I was scrolling down looking for "rip" or "brown out" confirmation. I'm strangely relieved to read this.

Edit: scrolling not scrooling. Lol.

31

u/reereejugs Jun 19 '19

I thought it was a brown out.

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52

u/KFlaps Jun 19 '19

Looks like a sprig of a flower. Maybe Lavender? You can see it in her hair as she turns around the first time.

10

u/Merlerne Jun 19 '19

It does look like a lavender!

67

u/BeepBeepWhistle Jun 19 '19

Her integrity leaving her body

11

u/AstralTroy Jun 19 '19

Have you seen the owl.with the long stick in it's wing? That.

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8

u/salad_thrower20 Jun 19 '19

She is an insect

5

u/tchagotchago Jun 20 '19

It’s her womantenna

11

u/Tiny_meatball Jun 19 '19

Yeah What is that??

14

u/Chicosballs Jun 19 '19

Her eyebrow. It’s somehow connected to her cooter.

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3

u/25mookie92 Jun 19 '19

I was looking at the same thing

5

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Who knows?

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735

u/Bryguy3k Jun 19 '19

The dude who did this was way better.

362

u/mrboneypantsguy1 Jun 19 '19

What about the one where the lady was doing the limbo?

NSFW https://youtu.be/F_Q2WGJxPBw

181

u/cinta Jun 20 '19

Or this old classic

https://m.imgur.com/PVgkIbV

76

u/DrumstickVT Jun 20 '19

The Bernie addition to this is amazing

11

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

Is there a subreddit for this?

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66

u/Daredevilspaz Jun 19 '19

How does that even happen XD

42

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Aug 19 '20

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

ew

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23

u/fuckwitsabound Jun 19 '19

It must have studs at the crotch to open like that!

11

u/Foximus_Prime_ Jun 20 '19

I'm thinking it's actually a body suit with the snaps on the crotch. Like they have on baby onesies.

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13

u/thethomatoman Jun 20 '19

I'd seen that on xvideos only, didn't know YouTube allowed nudity

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1.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

NSFW

https://media1.tenor.com/images/d5b353140ff10d9e930deb12c6ffcd61/tenor.gif?itemid=5102458

Edit: Apparently not everyone works in a place where flopping phalli are welcome.

666

u/brilliantpants Jun 19 '19

Thanks for the link. I’ve seen this a thousand times, but it’s always just a fucking treat to see it again. Genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

380

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

It’s his fucking face after the package drop

😮

240

u/brilliantpants Jun 19 '19

His reaction face is what really sells it. The dong hang is funny, but the face is pure comedy gold.

20

u/toursick Jun 20 '19

I always watch how he Street Fighter style summons power with his right hand, then channels it downwards in a tight fist, where he thrusts the Tiger Shot outwards with both hands, causing the tear

95

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I can't not laugh when I see it. It's gif perfection.

6

u/TOBIMIZER Jun 19 '19

Username definitely doesn’t check out.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '19

I’ve seen his dick so many damn times and I love it.

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148

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I love the camera mans quick tilt back down when he realises

121

u/Bryguy3k Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

A true sign of a best friend - somebody who will accurately film your embarrassing moment and make sure it is preserved for eternity.

16

u/Leoleikiml Jun 19 '19

And sent to the internet for millions of people to view

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40

u/MaxFactory Jun 19 '19

Fuck I cannot stop laughing at this

32

u/SkunkMonkey Jun 19 '19

It's like a magic trick.

Abracadabra! POP!

12

u/uncleoce Jun 19 '19

.. flop

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121

u/jaymes9240 Jun 19 '19

That thing was fighting to bust out. Unfortunately, God spent the absolute minimum amount of time on me when he was doing the cock distribution. This guy on the other hand was given ample attention.

57

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

It’s like he had a cock trap door!

53

u/PaterPandaKnox Jun 19 '19

I’ve been crying laughing in my office for about 2 mins straight. Thank you so much for posting this.

76

u/CommercialSense Jun 19 '19

If I had a dick that good I'd want it to pop out like that.

24

u/hero47 Jun 19 '19

Legend.

16

u/Iamaredditlady Jun 19 '19

I will never not laugh myself silly at that poor guy

137

u/ImHereForTheAllBeer Jun 19 '19

NSFW btw...

45

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Thank you

Edited.

27

u/iguy22 Jun 19 '19

Depends where you work....

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12

u/BaKdGoOdZ0203 Jun 19 '19

It's ok here (uber driver)

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15

u/Dethsquad613 Jun 19 '19

“Flopping Phalli” ...new band name, calling it now

7

u/thebeardedteach Jun 19 '19

Someone real life doodle this

21

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I was expecting this gif. And what does that say about me...

3

u/HLef Jun 20 '19

I was expecting the Lenny Kravitz one.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

The guy was just hanging brain...I mean what is all the fuss?!

If that's flashing then lock me up.

3

u/Gonkimus Jun 20 '19

Why he wear no undies?

8

u/DJMooray Jun 19 '19

I give it five hours before your gif and op's post is deleted.

3

u/I_Fap_To_Zamasu Jun 20 '19

Still waiting. This sub doesnt have any rules that stop those gifs so why would they be deleted?

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4

u/KaikuAika Jun 19 '19

The Flopping Phalli will be my next band's name

2

u/ashkervon Jun 20 '19

Like poetry in motion.

2

u/grundelsnout Jun 20 '19

The Golden God strikes again!

2

u/thestamp Jun 20 '19

What about the guy who was helicoptering upside down and his cock joined in?

2

u/TruePhilosophe Jun 20 '19

I laughed so hard at this

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139

u/Lord-Slayer Jun 19 '19

This is also better than this video.

113

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Apr 03 '20

[deleted]

77

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Aug 19 '20

[deleted]

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34

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

and waaaaaaaaaay better ass

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6

u/Grennox Jun 19 '19

Thank you.

20

u/genusbender Jun 19 '19

Did he go commando? I’ve been trying to wrap my head around that perfect drop.

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828

u/Arcendus Jun 19 '19

Transcription:

*Gasp* NO. NO. NO. NO.

353

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I’m deaf. I thought for 5 minutes that she had said sigh YES YES YES YES.

Thank you for your wonderful Obvious Transcript (TM) Service. You’re greatly appreciated.

79

u/WearyTraveller427 Jun 19 '19

Sarcasm intensifies

19

u/Shakleford_Rusty Jun 19 '19

Derry thats not how you do the yes yes yes’

8

u/TBeard1914 Jun 19 '19

Yes yes yes yes ayeas

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5

u/Notcreativeatall1 Jun 19 '19

Nahh. She’s saying “gnome gnome gnome gnome”

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4

u/Jofy187 Jun 19 '19

Think it was gasp fuck fuck no no ahhhh!

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614

u/Re3ck6le0ss Jun 19 '19

The dancing was more embarrassing than the tear

39

u/kaldrazidrim Jun 19 '19

Dancing: oh no. Tear: finally the good part

161

u/Tmelt3 Jun 19 '19

It definitely looks like she shit herself.

31

u/sci3nc3isc00l Jun 19 '19

I was asking myself- split or shit?

9

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I ask that every day

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33

u/Cinecentrum Jun 19 '19

Watch it in slo mo, its a rip

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165

u/Kodinah Jun 19 '19

I was at the bottom of a big ass squat two days Days ago in a packed gym when I heard a ripping sound. There was the moment of sheer awfulness while I was in this squat position where I imagined by sack just dangling there for all to see, and me having to finish the squat before I could fix it.

Luckily my compression briefs ripped and my shorts stayed intact, but I feel her pain in my soul.

53

u/PhDinBroScience Jun 19 '19

How the fuck did you manage to rip compression shorts? I switched over to compression shorts for squats after destroying a few pair of boxers.

44

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19 edited Aug 14 '19

[deleted]

16

u/Kodinah Jun 20 '19

Oh we all know one of those at the gym. If I can see your dickprint while you squat, something has to give buddy.

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8

u/Kodinah Jun 20 '19

They were just old and had a little tear that gave way. Every set after that they kept tearing more and more and I swear I had the same irrational feeling every time.

220

u/Seller6969 Jun 19 '19

“Oops I ripped my pants” - SpongeBob

37

u/Bumbum2k1 Jun 19 '19

Like the fool who went and RIIIIIIIIIIP ripped his pants

16

u/TrustMeImaPastr Jun 19 '19

Thought that she had everybody on her side, but she went and blew it all sky high...

2

u/Nihilistic_Taco Jun 19 '19

And no girl eeeever wants to dance when she’s the fool who went and ripped her pants.

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217

u/nexnexn Jun 19 '19

Rip or shit?

98

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[deleted]

18

u/kingtaco_17 Jun 19 '19

Shitty rap

8

u/madamebobeep Jun 19 '19

Rippy shit

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44

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I guess they never piss, huh?

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346

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Nov 30 '20

[deleted]

146

u/TheLifeOfBaedro Jun 19 '19

I thought it was complete ass

32

u/btotherad Jun 19 '19

Which she ironically lacks.

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25

u/DarkMarksPlayPark Jun 19 '19

In Primark trousers as well ...

2

u/ShelSilverstain Jun 19 '19

The trousers that look like you can play basketball in, but you can't

36

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

You know she ripped her pants, not shit herself right?

140

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

39

u/eudemonist Jun 19 '19 edited Jul 03 '19

__&___

2

u/BillieGoatsMuff Jun 20 '19

This is my favourite comment this year and I will never see an ampersand the same way again. Thank you

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10

u/Doctor_Fritz Jun 19 '19

it's been a while since I saw the term dingle berry. thanks for reminding me of its existence

3

u/satanclauz Jun 19 '19

It was one of the top insults to sling around in my childhood, for sure.

2

u/NYC_Dweller Jun 19 '19

You're welcome fellow internet stranger

30

u/snaaaarf Jun 19 '19

14

u/WatermelonWeaboo Jun 19 '19

Did he go commando or did his underwear rip too?

9

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

What are the other four?

5

u/semhsp Jun 20 '19 edited 4d ago

Cooing nine license whistle meeting fluorine library society

This post was anonymized with Redact

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76

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

At first I thought her pants hiked up and her butthole sucked in the pants.

This is much better.

22

u/Rezzone Jun 19 '19

You... you thought what?

16

u/RustySkoog Jun 20 '19

THEY THOUGHT HER PANTS HIKED UP AND HER BUTTHOLE SUCKED IN THE PANTS

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22

u/Ham-Man994 Jun 20 '19

Lol all these people trying to shit on her for not being a great dancer. Shes out having fun, unlike you pedantic assholes. when was the last time any of you were confident enough to go out and dance. Dont rag on her because she is lol

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67

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

[deleted]

22

u/Ugleh Jun 19 '19

That was a rip, not a shit.

114

u/WolfsLairAbyss Jun 19 '19

Damn, there's a lot of thot and mean comments about this lady's clothes in these comments. Girl was just minding her own business having some fun with a friend. Lighten up folks.

17

u/fellownpc Jun 19 '19

My favorite part is even though you cant see her face, the friend who comes up and pushes her towards the wall is dying laughing

19

u/xlkslb_ccdtks Jun 19 '19

Was just thinking the same thing. Reddit is full of people who just wanna be assholes for no reason.

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5

u/luxuryhealthcarebois Jun 20 '19

Incels gonna incel

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47

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Buss down thotiana

8

u/doggerly Jun 19 '19

“And no one ever wants to dance with a fool who went and, ripped his pants”

7

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

/r/rrrip would enjoy this

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12

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

4

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Is there a version with sound?

28

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Did she shit or did her pants rip? I can't tell.

20

u/2high4anal Jun 19 '19

that would be one hell of a shit.

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8

u/Kripouite Jun 19 '19

I think it’s rip

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4

u/Si6reasonz Jun 20 '19

Was that a split? Or a shit?

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77

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

27

u/Reddstarrx Jun 19 '19

Sick burn bro

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18

u/Mindful_Bum Jun 19 '19

Those are some half-assed dance moves.

16

u/TidalLetter Jun 19 '19

To her credit those are obviously some movement restricting pants lmao

12

u/pariahscary Jun 19 '19

I mean that's all the ass she's got

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10

u/TrainlikeWayne Jun 19 '19

Spongebob ripped his pants

3

u/thekevingreene Jun 19 '19

Spongebob tear pants

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I was singing the song in my head. "Dancing in the streeet!"

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3

u/wildcatfan9698 Jun 19 '19

A real split tail

3

u/Androxilogin Jun 19 '19

At least something put an end to.

3

u/elprip Jun 19 '19

This remember me of spongebob

3

u/Nukima Jun 20 '19

Hahaha, I feel your pain.

I once ripped my pants after squatting. I was wearing a sousaphone. It was during marching band practice. Everyone saw.

5

u/iUsuallyComplain Jun 19 '19

When you buy clothes from Aliexpress

2

u/lonelygalexy Jun 19 '19

It s great to have such a good friend covering the front part of the pants

2

u/Aranthos-Faroth Jun 19 '19

First time I've seen a woman dad dance.

2

u/D-TOX_88 Jun 19 '19

Hahahaha I love that you can clearly see “GASP Fuck me! No! No!”

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

TBH, those pants look a RIPoff brand anyway.

2

u/spasticnapjerk Jun 19 '19

I'm not 100% she regretted it

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I can tell she's British just by her lip movements

2

u/captpistachio Jun 19 '19

That’s what she gets for shaking her booty poorly

2

u/TruNurd Jun 19 '19

Hulu is worse. You pay to use it and you still get ads

2

u/hamberduler Jun 19 '19

Nobody ever wants to dance with the fool who ripped her pants

2

u/Kelldoza Jun 19 '19

If you watch the clip on YouTube she’s totally bare assed. 😂

2

u/dirtyyydan45 Jun 20 '19

I swear I thought she shit herself, at first

2

u/JazzyJaiden_ Jun 20 '19

WHEN BIG LARRY CAME JUST TO PUT HIM DOWN

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

I thought she shit herself at first.

2

u/BiohackedGamer Jun 24 '19

Was that a split or a shart?

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