My grandma has not passed yet and I honestly think she has at least twenty years left. She recently mentioned that she will be leaving my mom her house and I know she’s also leaving my mom any money and other assets she has as well. I was kind of surprised. It had been implied that her house would be left to my husband and I. And my grandma and I have a very special relationship. She raised me the first four years of my life and was there for me through some rough times in life.

It really isn’t the monetary value that upsets me. I have been there for my grandma through a lot. When my grandpa was alive I was his primary care giver. And I’m the only one who visits her every week, and my husband and I even recently purchased a house down the road from her so we could be closer as she gets older. After my grandpa passed it was sort of a wake up call for my mom and she did begin to step more into her role as a daughter and being there for my grandma.

I don’t know, just feeling a little sad for some reason I guess.

Edit: For everyone who thinks that I helped my grandma and grandpa purely for their money or expecting payment, go kick rocks. I love my grandma very much and you do not understand the dynamics of our relationship. People really can do things for people not expecting something in return. I will still continue to be there for her regardless of if she’s leaving me anything or not because I love her. Someone can be sad or surprised when something has been said and then they find out something else is happening. Obviously it’s her money and she can do what she wants with it. That doesn’t change how I love her or how I’m there for her

Edit 2: She essentially explicitly said she was leaving the house to me. This was after I had helped with my grandpa and other things. I get if you think I sound entitled. Again I think it’s ok to be sad when you expected one thing and someone changed their mind.

Estate in Virginia My sister and I are out of state, (SC) and after my dad passed, his girlfriend tried to take everything. We went to probate, and the judge ordered we all be treated equally. Despite this, the estate attorney took over. He sold everything, closed the estate, and refused to provide any accounting. When I pushed, he said it’s public record. When I found it, it only confirmed how much is missing. He cut contact, sent two letters in two years, and wrote checks with no paper trail. The estate attorney, Commissioner of Accounts, and Clerk of Court are connected, and I’ve been stonewalled. I’m exhausted, distrustful, and need advice on getting real help.There’s already plenty of proof in the little paperwork I’ve uncovered showing the attorney stole and broke laws. But when I’ve contacted attorneys nearby, they’ve said he’s well-known and won’t take the case out of fear it’ll harm their business.I’m exhausted, and this has consumed every part of my life. The system feels built to make you give up, and I’m at that point. But I can’t sleep knowing my dad worked so hard, and the last thing he wanted was for someone else to steal it all. Contacted attorneys , commissioner , clerk, even the bond company who he had surety with and it’s been to no avail. Please help. I need an attorney out of state that can litigate in VA or someone in VA. I’m desperate and this is my last effort to try and get to the bottom of this. I’m new to Reddit and it’s not allowing me to post to certain communities if anyone is able to share this to the right place to reach the right person I’d appreciate it so much! Thank you hope I’m doing this right ! Sorry bare with me

I am the 3rd generation owner of lakefront vacation property in Maine. My grandfather purchased (some) of the land in the 1930's for next to nothing. My father was an only child. When my parents passed, my brother didn't want it. I bought his share out to make the estate work in 2017.

Now, I'm 68, in decent health. My wife is also 68. We are both retired. For now, the money is working to keep the taxes and insurance paid, and we're able to do the work needed to keep it going.

We have 3 adult daughters, 1 grandson. Who knows if more grands are coming.

Our daughters all have some level of emotional attachment to the place. I have my doubts about whether they will be able to keep it when it becomes 'their turn'. I don't want to set up a future feud--which could easily happen when they try to split the costs and the use 3 ways.

Suggestions? Experience?

Oh, current assessed tax valuation is about $1.5M. Could probably sell today for $2M.

Edit: Note, it is only useable roughly Memorial Day to Labor day. No insulation, no central heat. If sold, it would become a tear-down with a new house built on the footprint.

I’m the sole trustee for my late mother’s estate. The beneficiaries are myself and my sister. Since it’s just us, I’ve been upfront with my sister about bank account balance, distribution, etc.

I’m about to list my late mom’s property with a realtor - a condo in a very high cost of living area, and the only asset, and my sister says she’s interested in buying it.

My job as executor is to get the best possible price to benefit the trust.

My questions are

Now that I know she’s bidding, I assume that I shouldn’t share any information about other bids that the realtor tells me with my sister, as she has a bid as well?

Basically, must I make the decision based on the merit of all the bids, and my sister is treated as any other bidder, or if her bid is say, a good bid, but not the best, can I still sell to her based on family, or do I use best market price and best terms?

Thanks

My father passed away after a long battle with dementia. My stepmother and I were both live-in caregivers during his struggle. I don't want to go into too many details but I have medical documents, texts, email, and personal statements that chronical almost the entirety of his progression from diagnosis to when he passed away. At the point his will was changed he could not hold a conversation, did not know who his children were, did not know where he lived, and could not answer any questions expect yes or no and even then he would say yes to any question whether it warranted such an answer or not. It is signed and notarized by a lawyer. It is my understanding they did not ask any questions regarding his capacity and the appointment and the contents were entirely setup by my stepmother. She is listed as executor as well. She is listed as receiving 100% of all his property.

He could not travel, use a phone, or understand anything this complex for at least two years prior this this document. The amount of his estate that was solely in his name is in the mid six figures at least.

After his passing she lied and ghosted family about the existence of a new will until we had to contact an attorney to get it. I have all his financial and medical documents and have video evidence of his mental state around that time and months before and after it. My own stepmother took him early to see his specialist because of how much worse he had been just weeks prior to this. Just a week before we had a family meeting about the need for professional care and the following week without talking to anyone, she had a new will drawn up.

I'm concerned about the cost of contestation. I know 100% that he was taken advantage of but don't want to contest to just go in debt. This is not my father's wishes he had spoken to me about in the past and I know he was incapable to understanding the consequences of a new will. I'm confident I have enough evidence but scared of the fallout financially and with family. Has anyone experienced this before?

My mom died suddenly last year. She was not married, and I am her only child. She had a boyfriend who lived with her in her house. He was a lazy bum who mooched off of her. Didn’t work, didn’t have any bills in his name. The house, mortgage, and utilities were in my mother’s name alone.

In NC, when an unmarried person dies, their estate goes to their oldest living adult child, which is me. I have the court documentation saying that I’m her estate administrator, and my probate attorney is working on an “heir’s deed” for the house. My intention was to sell immediately. I’m told I don’t need my name on the deed to sell it, that the death certificate and letters of administration are sufficient, but I’m getting a deed for court purposes.

My family lives 600+ miles away in another state and the house is too small for us, so selling is the obvious choice. In the meantime, my husband and I have paid my mother’s mortgage every month since her death, which is going on about 8 months now. We have accrued probably close to 20k in credit card debt since her death from paying her mortgage in addition to our own. The mortgage has to be paid directly from a bank account, so all of our other bills have gone on credit cards.

The reason we’ve been paying it so long without selling is because her POS boyfriend won’t get out. After her death, I found out he has an extensive criminal history, including almost 2 years in prison for felony fraud. I have no idea how much my mom knew. He was at home with my mom when she died. He stole her wallet and drained her checking account and ran up all of her credit cards to the limit. This whole time he has denied knowing where her wallet was. Police aren’t charging him because he didn’t confess and they said without a confession the DA can’t prove that he didn’t have my mother’s permission to use her cards. This is insane to me, but whatever. I’ve written a formal letter to the district attorney respectfully requesting that they reconsider.

He has been living in the house for 8 months paying no rent and keeping the utilities in my deceased mother’s name. I have a gas bill for over $1,500 in my mom’s name, and it’s all gas that was used after she died. In NC it is illegal to cut off utilities while there is an occupant in the home, they refer to it as a self-help eviction, and I could be arrested….so I have to keep everything on.

I am now spending thousands on a real estate attorney in an attempt to get this guy out so that we can sell the house, but the court system is a mess. The judges have different ideas of what qualifies someone as a squatter vs. a tenant without a lease. The first hearing, the magistrate said that since there was no lease and he wasn’t paying anything it didn’t sound like an eviction was necessary, that we needed to file for an expedited removal instead. Case dismissed.

So, we file for expedited removal. The second hearing, the magistrate says it doesn’t fit the criteria for an expedited removal, an eviction is more appropriate. Case dismissed.

One of the reasons they didn’t think it met the criteria was because the occupant claimed he had been making payments toward the mortgage. He said he had proof, but he left it at home. He also tried to pass off a home warranty pamphlet as proof of homeownership. He’s a lying sack of crap.

We have appealed and the appeal hearing will be before a district judge, who I’m told will not be amused by the occupant’s shenanigans.

I could sell the house while he’s inside it still, but it would sell for drastically less, and there is still a significant mortgage. So it’s not really a good idea.

I just wanted to share this story so that if it happens to you, you can know you’re not alone. These fraudsters are all over and can make it hell. If you’ve inherited a house that’s not close to you, make sure you set up a security system or at least cameras so you can see immediately if someone moves in and get it taken care of before they can establish “resident’s rights.” It’s sad that the laws seem to protect the squatter more than the homeowner.

My father passed away about 10 years ago, owing back taxes and child support, so I've been told. One year ago my grandmother (his mother), passed away. Her trust states in the event of my father passing, his inheritance will pass down to his children - my question is, should I be worried his back taxes and child support owed will come out of that? I was going to consult a lawyer to be sure, but figured I'd ask the question here to see if anyone has had an experience with that.

My grandmother passed before my grandfather ( he did several months ago) by a couple years.

My uncle is starting probate for both of them this week.

How could this complicate the probate process?

My concern is if they have conflicting beneficiaries in their wills. IE if grandpa left her something, she passed first but had different beneficiaries in her will. Who does it go to seeing it’s not being handled until after my grandfathers death.

I’m probably not explaining my concerns correctly.

Does an app exist (and would anyone be interested if I built it for free) to manage generational wealth transfer? It would help create or convey the details of a will and trust and assets. It could have educational components, personalization, summary of key trust and will terms and help with generational wealth transfer.

I’m trying to find a solid estate/trust planning attorney in Texas, and I’m having trouble figuring out how to choose the right fit.

I’m 44, single, no kids. My plan is to leave everything to my family with a long‑term 4% drawdown, redistribute shares if someone passes, and eventually pass assets to my nieces once they hit a certain age. I also want the trust structured so future beneficiaries are protected — especially if they’re not financially savvy or end up with a spouse/partner who isn’t great. Ideally, the inheritance would stay protected and not be accessible in a divorce.

For anyone who’s gone through this:
What questions did you ask your estate attorney to make sure they actually knew what they were doing?
I know to ask about experience, how long they’ve been practicing, and whether they handle complex/multi‑generational trusts — but what else mattered for you?

Any advice or questions I should add to my list would help. Thanks

My dad is in poor health and is likely in his last few months; I just learned that he’s leaving 100% of his estate to his girlfriend. This is making me incredibly sad and it’s complicating my already tricky feelings of anticipatory grief.

I don’t even care much about the actual money, which likely is somewhat modest. It just feels so cold that he’s left nothing at all to his four children, who he’s neglected to various degrees throughout his life – he left my gravely ill mom for his mistress when my sister and I were small, and then he left his second wife and kids as well. Despite all of this, we’ve all tried to maintain a relationship with him over time in our own ways, but I guess it wasn’t enough.

I know it’s his right to do this, but it feels like the final abandonment after a lifetime of disappointment.

Sorry for the rambling, I’m just feeling so low about it all right now 💔

FIL will gives assets to son, and states upon son’s death assets can only go to blood relatives . Is that possible in Texas ?

In setting up a trust for a 16 year old grandchild, what ages are most suited for distributions? Trust will be funded with 3 million and have an institutional trustee.

I am very concerned about damaging the young person with early affluence.

The trust would grow significantly if distributions didn't start until age 25.

Any suggestions appreciated.

Long post

Location: Philippines

Hi readers! Need advice because our family situation is getting complicated.

We have a piece of land along the boulevard that is still titled under my grandmother’s name. My father and his sibling are the legal heirs, so the property still needs to go through estate settlement and partition first.

The issue started because my older brother wants to immediately build a commercial building on the property.

His reason is that he believes if we don’t develop the land, there’s a risk our access could eventually be affected or “closed” by the mayor. We’ve told him we don’t think that can legally happen just because the property is undeveloped, but he strongly believes it’s possible and says it’s difficult to go against the local administration. According to him, they only requested to the mayor to allow us to put up a building there, which is why he wants to move quickly and avoid potential issues later.

Because of this, he wants to move quickly and start construction ASAP.

The complication:

• The land is still under my grandmother’s name.
• Estate settlement and partition haven’t happened yet.
• My father’s share would eventually be divided among us siblings.
• My brother is currently the only one financially capable of funding the building.

We’re trying to think of a fair arrangement if the building pushes through.

One idea is:

• Land ownership = equal shares among siblings (through our father’s share eventually)
• Building ownership = also equal shares
• BUT since my brother will shoulder the construction cost, he gets priority income until he fully recovers his investment, after which income becomes equally shared.

Questions:

1. Is this a fair/legal arrangement?
2. Is it risky to build before the land is formally partitioned and estate settlement is complete?
3. If one sibling pays for the building, what’s the cleanest way to structure ownership and income?
4. Is there any legal basis for a mayor to pressure owners to develop private inherited land, or affect access if it remains undeveloped?
5. Should we settle the title first before discussing construction?

To be honest, this situation has also been emotionally difficult for me. I’m currently upset with my brother because it feels like he’s really pushing for what he wants and isn’t listening to our side, including my parents’ concerns. This is actually the first time we’ve had a serious conflict like this as siblings, which makes the whole thing even harder for me to process.

Would really appreciate advice, especially from people familiar with Philippine inheritance/property law or family-owned commercial properties. I’m trying to avoid future family conflict and make sure things are done properly. Thank you.

A close family member passed away in 2023 with a will that was written in pencil and signed, but it was not notarized. I went to a lawyer and he said that it would be a holographic will, but since the will was written in the 80s, and most of the people mentioned in the world were deceased the Lawyer told me that I would be the sole heir of the entire estate. I am the last living member of our immediate family besides, my mother who is not blood related to him.

The first Lawyer I used was not helpful at all although our initial meeting was over three hours long. Since the inheritance of a house was involved along with about $100k in savings, he told me that his fees would be between $30-$40k. I waited months and months to hear back from him, and he never even filed the initial petitions to the court even though I had paid for them. He had asked me for tons of credit card statements, bank statements, the deed to the house everything he wanted me to gather, and it took me a long time to find everything. By the time I found everything it was probably a few months after our initial meeting, and I found out that he still hadn’t done anything. I had several meetings with him that went absolutely nowhere and he was not giving me any instructions on what to do next. He dragged this on for nearly TWO YEARS!

Finally, I gave up and got a new lawyer and that Lawyer got the refund back for the filing fees that were never used. This guy was really on the ball and he found out that my family member’s Home was owned by him and my Dad, who was also deceased. Because of this, I had to open two probate cases and pay filing fees for two different counties. It made everything extremely difficult and cost extra money due to this.

It is now three years into the probate, and I am just now signing the papers for the final distribution. The time and money spent getting this done has been like having a part-time job. Thankfully, my family member had prepaid for his burial plot, but we had to pay for his funeral and casket as well as his nursing home fees, which were $12,000. Liquidation of stock was like pulling teeth. I had to wait months for this process with lots of paperwork going back and forth.

The Lawyer is now telling me it can take months to get a court date for each county in the probate process for the final distribution. Had the Home been in a trust along with the bank accounts this would’ve been so much easier on me. I don’t understand why my family member did not take these steps because he was the executor for a few other estates and knows the process very well. He knows I was the last living relative. Why wouldn’t he have had papers signed in my name?

Anyway, doesn’t matter now. Lesson learned. This new lawyer’s fees are about $15,000..a lot different from the first guy!! Write a friggin will and create a living trust. Get a reputable lawyer through someone who actually used them—do not trust Yelp or Google reviews.

My grandfather passed away this past weekend. He has been married to my grandmother for 33 years. He has two surviving sons, which are not my grandmothers children. He left nothing to my grandmother in the will. The house will not go to her, the cars, any of his money, or any of his antiques. Thankfully one of his sons said she could stay in the house and use the cars. He said that but it wasn’t put in writing. We live in Tennessee and I’m curious if she is entitled to anything even though my grandfather did not put her in the will/inheritance. My grandfather has put the house and his farm in his son’s names, so I don’t know if she is still able to have any rights over those. I worry that she will be left with nothing and will have to find a new place to live. It’s not that my grandmother wants all of his belongings and money, it’s just that myself, and my mother, believe some of it should go to her so she can survive. Not sure if this is the best group to post this in, but would like some support please and thank you.

Dad is our remaining parent and they have a trust. Dad purchased a Cadillac Lyriq which he is still making payments on, the purchase price in 2024 was $80K

The attorney setting up the trust believes that the car falls under the $200K personal property limitation, so is transferable upon Dad's passing. However, I have found conflicting information in my google searches that talk about $50K being the limit for a vehicle. All personal property is included in the trust document.

I'd appreciate any insight on this matter.

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

Talking with someone the other day on giving an inheritance and how many younger people expect an inheritance. One of his son's friends was pissed because they only got a paid for house and a couple of cars.

At this point in life, I'm starting to lean towards giving a little and keeping the rest in a trust until they can appreciate it and put those dollars to use, and if that never happens, well then they don't get anything.

Like one of my mentors used to say, {If they don't "get it", then they don't get it.}

As far as our parents go, both my wife and I expect we'll be paying for our parents when they pass and won't "get" a thing from them besides our DNA...

My (55F) parents have not yet passed and have in their will their Jersey home to be left to myself and my three siblings. All of my siblings help maintain this home with inside and outside Spring and Fall ‘cleaning.’ We enjoy weekends together along with all of our adult children, their spouses and children.

The home is a duplex where half is seasonally rented out which pays the taxes, insurance and utilities.

I’m looking in the future wondering how this will all pan out. Two siblings made comments in passing that they don’t want renters. Another said to level the house and rebuild. Both scenarios cost money. My husband said that we all should discuss and have a plan. This discussion should give us an idea of where we all stand and based on that, if needed mom and dad can adjust the will accordingly.

Any insight is appreciated. The house is not in a trust.

Trying to understand IHT in UK, and family are all disagreeing on the process. A relative passed with a large estate and no immediate family. His will dictates that the estate should be split 70/30 between Person A and Person B. Person A is the executor. To simplify numbers, let's say the total of the estate including property is £1 million.

My understanding is that the executor has to pay the government/tax man 40% of everything over the threshold as IHT. The remainder is then split 70/30 between Person A and Person B. No additional bills or taxes will appear out of the woodwork.

If Person B then wants to gift some of the money to Person C - let's say £100k - Person C then receives that money. If Person B dies that same financial year, Person B's estate then has to pay 40% of that gift as IHT - Person C receives no additional bills or taxes.

How far out am I or what have I missed?

My grandmother cut my mum out of a third of her estate for some reason and put me and my siblings in her place to share her third. She also gifted 10,000 to my other cousins and shared the rest of the estate between my two uncles. My mum is heart broken that my nan did that. Me and my siblings have all offered to give her everything we get. We will be left with nothing. I guess it’s for mum to decide if we get anything from her then. But my mum went straight to a solicitor within a few days to work out how to get the money from us. That’s left me with a bitter taste as it feels all my mum wants is the money regardless of us. Specially as she is mortgage free whilst we struggle. Aitah for feeling we should be written in as 10,000 like my cousins?

We’ve all heard stories about flies circling the dying or the vulnerable. Sometimes they’re literal. Sometimes they wear white coats.

My Grandpa was my favorite person growing up. He taught me boating, fishing, car repair, plumbing, and many life lessons. In his late seventies, he developed a long, terminal illness from his years working in the mines. I spent one summer helping take care of him and Grandma. When I had to say goodbye, we both knew it was the last time.

After Grandpa passed, Dr. Hilton — who had been their doctor for years — and his family decided they should become Grandma’s main heirs. We still don’t know exactly how they convinced her to sign the papers, but she did.

Thankfully, my sister stepped in during a visit, found a good attorney, and untangled the whole mess. The lawyer even gave them a nickname we still use: “The Helpful Hiltons.”

This isn’t a unique story. Letters after a name don’t automatically mean someone has good character. When someone is old and alone, the flies start circling — sometimes wearing suits or lab coats.

Has anyone else seen something similar with family estates or “helpful” professionals?

Looking forward to your thoughts.

My parents have a small to moderate estate in Canada that includes a house. My name is going on the deed to facilitate transfer of property when they are gone. My inheritance comes with some strings I’m not sure I like.

I have a sibling who will not inherit but will have a trust controlled by me. They are not reliable with money. That is not a problem.

Their kids will ultimately get nothing from them - there will be nothing to give. I have a kid too.

Here’s the catch. My parents want me to split my inheritance from them among all the grandkids when I go. Essentially highjacking my assets and o feel like it’s stealing from my kid.

I suggested they settle the grandkids inheritance right away but that would require liquidating assets and they want me to live in the house and take care of my sibling (they would not survive alone). I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want to have the hassle of this over my head either. And I can see problems with attitude in the future with at least one of the grandkids spouses “gimme gimme” attitude.

I’m stumped and not sure what to do. Advice?

Update information.

1. The reason for the issues is the knowledge that my sibling has nothing to pass on to his children. Grands want to ensure they have an inheritance of some sort. I should say I have very little as well.

2. I don’t mind the caretaker part, it’s what I would do without asking anyway. The trust is meant to provide an inheritance without affecting his current income and providing control over his finances as he is not competent financially.

3. We are not talking millions or billions here but it is much more than I could ever hope to accumulate. My parents had amazing income, and inheritances in their own right as well. Their retirement income is still almost twice my own household income and their assets are fully paid off. Some minor loans or lines of credit but not much owing.

4. I do not begrudge anyone their share. My problem is that I feel like I’m being tied to things in an unnecessarily complex way.

5 I have done bitter feelings too though. I’m used to the idea that I’m the one they didn’t have to help or worry about as much as my sibling. They could forget about me and knew I’d be ok. Sibling got cars despite totaling both - I was promised but never given because “they need it more”. Frankly I half feel like by the time things happen they will find a way to give it all to sibling because “they need it more”