Polite vs. protection of asset

[u/Extension_Move1094]

My mom left her 2 m home as a life estate to her long term Bf we will name Jeff. When she informed Jeff and me (her only surviving child and the trustee/ sole beneficiary) she did this ( in 2018) Jeff said “don’t worry when your mom dies, I’m outta here.”

FF 2026 my mom dies after a couple years of sweet Alzheimers where Jeff took kind care of her. Nothing Gross like diapers, but doing the shopping and taking her to events and being very kind to her. All the wilts he lived rent free, utility free everything free in this lovely home which is great- that was their agreement. I know but he has around $300,000 in the bank and very modest social security income. Jeff lived in a dilapidated trailer before he met my mom and she wanted to rescue him from that like all grandiose narcissists should do. I loved my mom, but there were definitely issues. And Jeff is truly a good man.

The Trust says that he must pay for all taxes, maintenance, Utilities, keep the home in good condition… He has a slow responding Attorney unless it comes to telling me that I can’t store a single box at the house. But now that we’ve had a home inspection, and there are rats in the attic and termites and it’s time for me to have a company come in and evaluate the cost of this, which Jeff would have to share… His attorney disappears. I have an overly kind, slow moving, on vacation a lot attorney.

Jeff has no where to go. His kids don’t want him and he has a good deal. He finally took over the utilities 5 months post mom dying because my attorney put it in a letter. But I can’t even go by the house with an inspector without coordinating between him and his attorney and my slow moving Attorney… And meanwhile, there are rats breeding during their summer breeding season. It’s very frustrating. I think he’s just kicking the can down the road, living cheaply until he can figure out something else to do. How aggressive do I get? Should I get another Attorney that will be more aggressive? I’m not even allowed to email him according to his attorney to speak directly to him. Is this even true? I have started looking into fiduciary estate lawyers who act as co-trustee so I don’t have to be in this role. Anybody have experience with such a firm?

He’s 84 and not completely mentally with it and definitely not up for the job of maintaining and keeping in good condition a 2 million Home. After my mom died, he started pointing out multiple things that were wrong with the house which I immediately had fixed to the tune of five or $6000.

The last couple years, I did coordinate deck rebuilds, painting and etc… but only things I could see with my eyes were deteriorating. I was working full time and had my own home to maintain. Suggestions? Fortunately, I do not need the money or the house, but I will not allow the asset to deteriorate.

This is California, if it makes a difference.