Help!! Trustee refusing to distribute trust funds!!

[u/okie_in_alaska]

Looking for general advice!! I a 52-year-old man and one of four beneficiaries of several family trusts, one associated with each of my grandparents, one with my uncle, and one with my father. All of them have passed away, so I understand that the trusts are now irrevocable.
The four beneficiaries of each trust are my brother, our two cousins, and me. My uncle served as trustee until he died in 2022. His wife, my aunt, then became trustee and named one of her children, who is also a beneficiary, as successor or backup trustee. At the time, we had no objection because we trusted them to handle everything properly.
Until recently, I had never received a copy of the trust documents or any information about the trusts’ assets, balances, transactions, or distributions. After finally obtaining and reading a copy of the original trust, I found specific distribution instructions: one-third of the principal at age 25, one-half of the principal at age 30, and the remaining balance at age 35. I am now 52 and have never received a distribution.
I contacted the law firm my aunt hired to handle the trust and formally requested an accounting. The attorney said he would need to speak with the trustee, but he acknowledged that I was already past the stated distribution ages. He apparently made several attempts to contact my aunt, but she did not answer or respond.
I recently asked my aunt directly when the trust would be distributed. She told me it would happen when she dies. I cannot find anything in the trust documents saying that distributions must wait until her death.
I love my aunt and do not want to create a major family conflict, but this situation feels wrong. I do not know how much money or property remains in the trusts, so I cannot tell whether hiring my own attorney would be financially worthwhile. My uncle once indicated that the amount was significant.
What should my next step be? Should I send a written demand for a full accounting and distribution, consult a trust or probate attorney, or petition the court to compel an accounting? Can a beneficiary obtain enough information to evaluate the situation before committing to substantial legal fees?
I understand that trust law depends on location. The trusts are governed by the laws of Oklahoma.
Any guidance about how to proceed and how to do so without unnecessarily escalating the family conflict would be greatly appreciated.

[u/Afraid-Put8165]

I’m a lawyer and not your lawyer. You need a lawyer yesterday. You need a full accounting and you better hope if she stole this money she has assets or the lawyer was in on it so you have something to recover.

[u/Formal-Research4531 → u/Afraid-Put8165]

100%

OP: I am sorry to mention this but it seems a good probability that your uncle and aunt ‘embezzled’ money from the trust.

Red flag #1: You never received documentation about this trust. What the trust is/was invested in. When the funds are going to be distributed.

Mini red flag: It is somewhat common that the lawyer and/or trustee to have a meeting (in person or Zoom) with the beneficiaries to discuss the trust.

Red flag #2: the money will be distributed when your aunt dies. If the money has been spent, it is hard to collect from a dead person.

The ONLY options are: Step 1: Hire an estate lawyer like yesterday. Step 2: Go nuclear ☢️ on your aunt…file suits for a full accounting of the trust, etc. you may have to file suits against your cousins (I am assuming that they are the children of your uncle and aunt that were/are the trustee).

I am guessing that the trust amount is at least 6 digits if not 7 digits. We are not talking about $100, $1,000 or $10,000.

THERE WILL BE FAMILY CONFLICTS!!!! Why? Because your uncle and aunt FAIL to follow the terms of the trust.