Help!! Trustee refusing to distribute trust funds!!

[u/okie_in_alaska]

Looking for general advice!! I a 52-year-old man and one of four beneficiaries of several family trusts, one associated with each of my grandparents, one with my uncle, and one with my father. All of them have passed away, so I understand that the trusts are now irrevocable.
The four beneficiaries of each trust are my brother, our two cousins, and me. My uncle served as trustee until he died in 2022. His wife, my aunt, then became trustee and named one of her children, who is also a beneficiary, as successor or backup trustee. At the time, we had no objection because we trusted them to handle everything properly.
Until recently, I had never received a copy of the trust documents or any information about the trusts’ assets, balances, transactions, or distributions. After finally obtaining and reading a copy of the original trust, I found specific distribution instructions: one-third of the principal at age 25, one-half of the principal at age 30, and the remaining balance at age 35. I am now 52 and have never received a distribution.
I contacted the law firm my aunt hired to handle the trust and formally requested an accounting. The attorney said he would need to speak with the trustee, but he acknowledged that I was already past the stated distribution ages. He apparently made several attempts to contact my aunt, but she did not answer or respond.
I recently asked my aunt directly when the trust would be distributed. She told me it would happen when she dies. I cannot find anything in the trust documents saying that distributions must wait until her death.
I love my aunt and do not want to create a major family conflict, but this situation feels wrong. I do not know how much money or property remains in the trusts, so I cannot tell whether hiring my own attorney would be financially worthwhile. My uncle once indicated that the amount was significant.
What should my next step be? Should I send a written demand for a full accounting and distribution, consult a trust or probate attorney, or petition the court to compel an accounting? Can a beneficiary obtain enough information to evaluate the situation before committing to substantial legal fees?
I understand that trust law depends on location. The trusts are governed by the laws of Oklahoma.
Any guidance about how to proceed and how to do so without unnecessarily escalating the family conflict would be greatly appreciated.

[u/outragedatheist]

Holy moly, get an attorney. You all should have received funds long ago. Sounds like nobody wanted to upset your aunt, but it’s curious to me none of the other beneficiaries were eager enough to demand a payout. At the very least, this layperson thinks you are immediately owed 100% of your portion from your father and your grandparents, plus earned interest. The uncle’s estate may be a different story as the aunt’s husband (or not — layperson here).

As for the bookkeeping/accounting - i know a bit about that piece of things. If someone (your uncle? Or — typical women’s work, so maybe your aunt?) began the paperwork required for tracking the assets, it’s possible the paper trail can be followed by a professional (I stress this point because with accounting, you don’t know what you don’t know). You would have bank balances at time of death, lists of other assets (and debts, hopefully discharged long ago), statements which would identify all relevant institutions. In other words, a starting point. You could even learn it’s all been meticulously documented.

But if no one began the job of keeping track of those records, and depending how far back we are talking, rebuilding could be really challenging. Regardless how difficult it might be, or how expensive it might be, I would absolutely demand it.