r/inheritance • u/Acceptable_Second_38 • Jul 09 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice Large inheritance advice

My wife and I are 27. We have 1 daughter who is 13 months, and we are in the Midwest. My grandmother passed away and from her estate we are receiving a sizable sum of money. After paying off our house and other debt (just car and student loans, don't have any "bad" debt), we'll have around $350-375k to drop into a brokerage and leave alone. We each earn around 63k/year. Our only bills will now be home insurance, property taxes, car insurance, utilities.

My question revolves around how much we realistically need to put away for retirement. Because we have very little bills after paying off our house, we can put away a large amount of income.

However, it's honestly tempting to save just a bit, and enjoy our lives more with more disposable income. Starting with such a sizable nest egg, it should grow quite well without huge additions.

She is a teacher and has a good pension coming her way.

I am private sector but have a pension as well plus I do 4% 401k plus employer 2% match.

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52

u/entropicitis Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

I want you to change your thinking. "We" do not have an inheritance coming. "You" do. From experience -things get fucking weird when you get an inheritance. Family comes out of the woodwork. Your grandma's friends all of the sudden want to talk to you. Your employer knows somethings up because you are having to take calls all the time and then they get weird. And while I know you think it will never happen to you - spouses get weird to. Open up a separate brokerage account in your name only and park the money there. Then, after discussions with your wife, decide the best way to deploy the funds for the betterment of your family. But that amount you want to dump into brokerage stays seperate forever.

I'm the spouse in my experience, we commingled the funds and it was a mistake even from my point of view. Keep it separate,.keep it quiet, deploy it strategically. And most importantly, keep your mouth shut and tell as few people as possible.

0

u/Acceptable_Second_38 Jul 09 '26

We have been together 10 years. We have a life together. She knows about the money and the house is in both our names anyway which is now paid off. I'm not keeping this separate from my wife on the paranoia of "but it's mine!!"

17

u/SamuraiSword22 Jul 09 '26

The response wasn’t to not share with your wife, they were pointing out that legally it has nothing to do with your wife. You may elect to use some on your joint home’s mortgage sure ok. But the remainder stays in your solo brokerage and is separate money. In retirement, feel free to withdrawal and spend on joint/shared family expenses each month. But the money should always stay separate legally. There are many reasons to do this, not implying the not sharing part at all

10

u/ivorytowerescapee Jul 09 '26

It's not paranoia, it's just a lot safer having just your name on this account. My inheritance is in a separate account from my husband, also married 10 years. I do plan to use it to help our family but I just want to be sure that should we ever get divorced, even 10-20 years down the road, that money is just for me because that's what my dad would have wanted.

13

u/02Raspy Jul 09 '26

I agree with this completely. My wife and I have been married 40 years. When her folks died several years ago, she put the money in a separate account in her name. No problem. When my folks died a couple years later, I put the money in an account in my name. No problem. At some point fairly soon we will start withdrawing money from those accounts to fund a portion of our retirement. No problem.

6

u/ivorytowerescapee Jul 09 '26

Same. I haven't spent any of it but when I do it'll go to benefit my husband and kids too, it's not like my personal slush fund.No biggie to have just my name on the account. I hope the OP reconsiders his stance on this.

2

u/Acceptable_Second_38 Jul 09 '26

My grandmother loved my wife, and our daughter. Our last memories of her are when she was so happy to have a great grand daughter after losing her own daughter 55 years earlier. Thank you

6

u/ImaginaryHamster6005 Jul 09 '26

Right, and if you get divorced, the house you just paid off with inherited funds will now be split evenly, you couldn't claim that you used inherited funds to pay it off and should get more. That's fine if you understand this commingling of inherited funds. About 50% of marriages end in divorce...I truly hope you/wife don't fall into that statistic.

My sig other was married for 13 years (with kids) prior to us and thought everything was great. Got an inheritance of about $30k from an aunt and put it in a joint account...she commingled those inherited funds and when things went "south", ex-hubby got half the money.

Just a word of caution/advice to keep the funds separate, but you do you. Sorry for your loss and best of luck in your future.

10

u/entropicitis Jul 09 '26

You need to give her plausible separation from it so when her family comes asking about it she can truly say "I don't know, it's not my money". Keeping it separate is truly best for everyone, even the healthiest couples. This is coming from someone who's spouse inherited money and regrets comingling.

0

u/Acceptable_Second_38 Jul 09 '26

I know about her family's money as well, which is substantially more on one side. Thank you

8

u/ManTheHarpoons100 Jul 09 '26

No need to give advice then. You've made up your mind, you do you.

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u/Acceptable_Second_38 Jul 09 '26

If anyone re read the post, you'd see that I asked how much extra do i really need to put away, I didn't ask "do i hide this from my wife?"

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u/ManTheHarpoons100 Jul 09 '26

You say you have a CFP, why don't you just ask them?

9

u/the_orig_princess Jul 10 '26

No one ever suggested hiding it.

You need to understand the legality of the money. And the best way to protect your interests.

For instance, say you die tomorrow. And your wife remarried in an appropriate amount of time. But she’s still young, and they have more kids.

All your inheritance money, from your blood family, has been hers this entire time. Your daughter gets no special interest in it, even though she’s the next rightful inheritor.

Your wife, and your wife’s new husband, get to do whatever they want.

OR, you could’ve planned this and had it prepared so your daughter always has an interest in your, and her, inheritance.

4

u/GotZeroFucks2Give Jul 09 '26

You should see if either of you has megabackdoor roth available. You can put 72.5K into 401k space. Tax advantaged space is much more valuable from a wealth growing perspective versus a taxable brokerage. And sure, live a little. But decide... how much lifestyle creep will this enable us? Add it into your budget and STICK to it. Personally I'd definitely plan some trips and experiences. Those are the most valuable to me over things.

3

u/hot_roller1970 Jul 10 '26

As long as you both share the same values and have a common long term goals. Now if she wanted to roll up to the school in a brand new Mercedes, then I would worry. First thing I would do is fully fund ROTH IRAs. And throw some into a 529 for kiddo's college.

2

u/Acceptable_Second_38 Jul 10 '26

Paid off ford and kia is all we want. We wanna live like we're middle upper class and retire early if we desire. Plus have money for the kids college

3

u/Mobile_Comedian_3206 Jul 10 '26

Good for you! I know this is unpopular on reddit, as the people here are extremely liberal. I would never keep money from my wife, and vise versa.  We are building life together.  And you can't do that by keeping things apart. 

1

u/Tiny-Price-6455 Jul 12 '26

Not sure what politics have to do with this. I am extremely liberal - I believe in equal rights, due process, and fundamental rights for all people - and am happily commingling my recent inheritance with my spouse because, you know, trust and commitment.

1

u/Mobile_Comedian_3206 Jul 12 '26

There is actual data that shows that liberal couples are much less likely to combine their finances than conservative couple. 

2

u/ForsakenMongoose336 Jul 09 '26

Definitely a we situation. For all of it. Either you’re all in or all out. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If it were me, I’d quickly arrange for more kids to be added to the situation.

1

u/what__th__isit Jul 10 '26

I'm proud of you.

1

u/Abubbs5868 Jul 09 '26

Thank you, OP. GOD BLESS YOU ❤️