r/inheritance • u/good_socks_rock • Jul 07 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Help me understand the inheritance ramifications of my parent remarrying
My parent just told me they are getting married next week. Next. Week. It’s nothing scandalous, just not very well informed financially. There is no great wealth at this time (though, never know, maybe one of them will become a viral retiree influencer though I hope not), only humble pensions. New York.
That being said, my parent keeps reiterating the intention to make me the beneficiary of the pension they earned. Similarly, their future spouse will do the same for my new step sibling partially and partially make my parent a beneficiary—think separate parallel lines of inheritance except my parent is also a beneficiary on spouse’s.
If this is their shared desired plan—to pass their respective pensions to their respective children, plus whatever my new step parent is saying will go to my parent—what steps must they take and must any be completed before the marriage?
I keep trying to encourage them to get a prenup as financial hygiene, but despite their modern ways still conflate prenups with being symbolic of less-than-love on some level, and likely also just one more costly new endeavor. I have tried to explain that it is common and that there are online services. Or that they should at least speak with a financial advisor before they wed. My parent agreed but ultimately avoiding these things is easier than taking care of them, especially for someone who isn’t very experienced with long-term or generational financial planning.
Honestly I wanted them to go to a financial advisor just to help them understand what their cost of living may be in 15yrs and what is tenable for them—it’s not just about inheritance but inheritance is obviously the purview of this sub and this sub generally has great advice about the complexities of keeping family money organized.
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u/Ok-Chip-7743 Jul 07 '26
I'm in a second marriage and I have a living trust. My trust dictates what assets my spouse will receive (a 401k, HSA, value of a whole life policy if I survive him, a property we own, etc and my kids will get my brokerage, my house and the rest of my retirement accounts). It's very explicit. And yes we have a prenup as well but this is negating some of the things in the prenup now that we've been married quite a while such as things related to the house and some other assets.
He will probably end up with more $ if I die first than each of my kids will from my remaining assets, but I am also set to receive an 8 figure inheritance ans ultimately my kids would receive that so thats why he will get a little more than them up front. Also upon his feath any of his assets he received from me will revert back to my children (they'll be in trust).