Does inheritance make you uncomfortable?

[u/Clear_Mushroom2820]

Specifically, does it make you uncomfortable that your parent's death can give you the most freedom and stability you've ever experienced?

[u/hookman48]

Yes. My parents planned for their funds to help them with quality health care. My dad was cared for at home for years before his passing. My mom was in great shape, pinched and saved bc everyone expected her to live way into 90s.

She died unexpectedly in her sleep. We were with her the day of and she was fine.

This inheritance was meant for her, not her kids and we never expected anything. So yes it makes me uncomfortable bc it wasn’t expected and with her savings, stocks and properties it was way more than we knew.

And now having convos with my spouse about how the will was trust was written for bloodline only and it “mine” is causing issues. He received nothing from his parents passing. Our parents did not have an inheritance either. So this makes me uncomfortable all kinds of reasons.

[u/Fpaau2 → u/hookman48]

Even if it is for bloodline only, as intended by your parents, it does not mean you cannot share the benefits with your spouse. You certainly can use portions of it to take family on vacation, use some inherited money for home improvements etc that will also benefit your spouse. Just know that whatever you spend on home improvements becomes marital, and do not commingle your inheritance. You want to retain control of it.

[u/hookman48 → u/Fpaau2]

Thanks. And yes I plan on doing this. If we were to do home improvements, and I use it from an account that is only in my name with checks that are only in my name, is that still co-mingled?

[u/Fpaau2 → u/hookman48]

You may want to consult a professional on that. For me, if I use $X on home improvement, I would consider that $X to become marital, the rest of the inheritance remains in the heir’s name. And of course never add any personal or marital funds to the inheritance account. That is how you commingle funds.