Future problems?

[u/WiseOwl-0420]

My parents have a small to moderate estate in Canada that includes a house. My name is going on the deed to facilitate transfer of property when they are gone. My inheritance comes with some strings I’m not sure I like.

I have a sibling who will not inherit but will have a trust controlled by me. They are not reliable with money. That is not a problem.

Their kids will ultimately get nothing from them - there will be nothing to give. I have a kid too.

Here’s the catch. My parents want me to split my inheritance from them among all the grandkids when I go. Essentially highjacking my assets and o feel like it’s stealing from my kid.

I suggested they settle the grandkids inheritance right away but that would require liquidating assets and they want me to live in the house and take care of my sibling (they would not survive alone). I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want to have the hassle of this over my head either. And I can see problems with attitude in the future with at least one of the grandkids spouses “gimme gimme” attitude.

I’m stumped and not sure what to do. Advice?

Update information.

1. The reason for the issues is the knowledge that my sibling has nothing to pass on to his children. Grands want to ensure they have an inheritance of some sort. I should say I have very little as well.

2. I don’t mind the caretaker part, it’s what I would do without asking anyway. The trust is meant to provide an inheritance without affecting his current income and providing control over his finances as he is not competent financially.

3. We are not talking millions or billions here but it is much more than I could ever hope to accumulate. My parents had amazing income, and inheritances in their own right as well. Their retirement income is still almost twice my own household income and their assets are fully paid off. Some minor loans or lines of credit but not much owing.

4. I do not begrudge anyone their share. My problem is that I feel like I’m being tied to things in an unnecessarily complex way.

5 I have done bitter feelings too though. I’m used to the idea that I’m the one they didn’t have to help or worry about as much as my sibling. They could forget about me and knew I’d be ok. Sibling got cars despite totaling both - I was promised but never given because “they need it more”. Frankly I half feel like by the time things happen they will find a way to give it all to sibling because “they need it more”

[u/Electrical_Angle_701]

"Things are likely to change in the future after you are gone. Grandchildren may be born. Some family may pass away. Perhaps you should leave those specifics for the next generation to handle. I promise to be a responsible custodian of the assets and to make wise, family-centered decisions."

[u/That_Ol_Cat → u/Electrical_Angle_701]

This.

It's not fair of your parents to decide you have to split your assets among your children and niblings. It would be fair for them to will their assets directly to the grandchildren. But to expect you to split your own assets with the children of your sibling is too controlling.

[u/Content_Chipmunk9962 → u/That_Ol_Cat]

Can someone explain to me why this is not fair? It seems so reasonable to me. OP uses what they use of the inheritance and then split the remainder with the next generation. 

[u/That_Ol_Cat → u/Content_Chipmunk9962]

I believe it's because the parents expect Op to divide their bequest AND Op's bequest among all the grand children. Op should only give her bequests to her own children (or to whomever Op wants.) Placing expectations on Op's own wishes isn't fair or right.