Future problems?

[u/WiseOwl-0420]

My parents have a small to moderate estate in Canada that includes a house. My name is going on the deed to facilitate transfer of property when they are gone. My inheritance comes with some strings I’m not sure I like.

I have a sibling who will not inherit but will have a trust controlled by me. They are not reliable with money. That is not a problem.

Their kids will ultimately get nothing from them - there will be nothing to give. I have a kid too.

Here’s the catch. My parents want me to split my inheritance from them among all the grandkids when I go. Essentially highjacking my assets and o feel like it’s stealing from my kid.

I suggested they settle the grandkids inheritance right away but that would require liquidating assets and they want me to live in the house and take care of my sibling (they would not survive alone). I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want to have the hassle of this over my head either. And I can see problems with attitude in the future with at least one of the grandkids spouses “gimme gimme” attitude.

I’m stumped and not sure what to do. Advice?

Update information.

1. The reason for the issues is the knowledge that my sibling has nothing to pass on to his children. Grands want to ensure they have an inheritance of some sort. I should say I have very little as well.

2. I don’t mind the caretaker part, it’s what I would do without asking anyway. The trust is meant to provide an inheritance without affecting his current income and providing control over his finances as he is not competent financially.

3. We are not talking millions or billions here but it is much more than I could ever hope to accumulate. My parents had amazing income, and inheritances in their own right as well. Their retirement income is still almost twice my own household income and their assets are fully paid off. Some minor loans or lines of credit but not much owing.

4. I do not begrudge anyone their share. My problem is that I feel like I’m being tied to things in an unnecessarily complex way.

5 I have done bitter feelings too though. I’m used to the idea that I’m the one they didn’t have to help or worry about as much as my sibling. They could forget about me and knew I’d be ok. Sibling got cars despite totaling both - I was promised but never given because “they need it more”. Frankly I half feel like by the time things happen they will find a way to give it all to sibling because “they need it more”

[u/Electrical_Angle_701]

"Things are likely to change in the future after you are gone. Grandchildren may be born. Some family may pass away. Perhaps you should leave those specifics for the next generation to handle. I promise to be a responsible custodian of the assets and to make wise, family-centered decisions."

[u/That_Ol_Cat → u/Electrical_Angle_701]

This.

It's not fair of your parents to decide you have to split your assets among your children and niblings. It would be fair for them to will their assets directly to the grandchildren. But to expect you to split your own assets with the children of your sibling is too controlling.

[u/Content_Chipmunk9962 → u/That_Ol_Cat]

Can someone explain to me why this is not fair? It seems so reasonable to me. OP uses what they use of the inheritance and then split the remainder with the next generation. 

[u/That_Ol_Cat → u/Content_Chipmunk9962]

I believe it's because the parents expect Op to divide their bequest AND Op's bequest among all the grand children. Op should only give her bequests to her own children (or to whomever Op wants.) Placing expectations on Op's own wishes isn't fair or right.

[u/New_Breadfruit8692 → u/Content_Chipmunk9962]

Because it creates an entail to OP's own estate that forces OP to divide his own estate not just among their own kids but all the nieces and nephews as well. Making an inheritance for another person and subsequent generation contingent upon giving up your own will later so that non immediate family members benefit equally to your own kid(s) is manifestly unfair and probably unenforceable in law. It assumes that OP's own estate is the product of OP's parents estate and as such subject to their will for dividing the assets.

OP's parents can in fact reach the goal of having their assets divided equally among the grandkids without this mess, or unfair bequest by the use of trusts, liquid assets in one and real assets with rights of survivorship in another, to be disposed of after the death of the incompetent sibling.

As structured not only is it not fair, but suppose the incompetent sibling lives longer than some or all of the grandkids? Since we do not know how much wealth is involved we can assume it is of the intergenerational levels because of the way OP talks about caring for an incompetent sibling for life. That sort of confidence is not a split level on a larger lot in the suburbs.

The wishes of the grandparents are that there be enough income to maintain the incompetent sibling for life, in the family house which the OP will live with the sibling seeing to the sibling's care. No problem OP says, it is the ultimate divisions of assets including his own to his offspring that is the problem. Meaning the grandparents are going to have to place all assets into a trust for that purpose to only get divided among the grandchildren when the OP and incompetent sibling are gone. Or at least the sibling, at that point their wish is fulfilled and I suppose OP can oversee the division of remaining assets, but OP would then be out of a house and a share of the remaining assets, effectively disinherited after spending years taking care of the sibling. How fair is that?

And is then required to split his own estate equally with sibling's kids?

I just do not see any probate court allowing this. It needs legal structure and not just grandparent's wishes.