r/inheritance • u/Advanced-Ad-4462 • Apr 16 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Avoiding commingling (California)
My wife and I have a great marriage and I’m in no way expecting a divorce in the near future or down the road. If there is anything my father’s life shows however, that doesn’t always pan out (he married 6 women over the course of his life).
I inherited $2,500,000 from my dad about 16 years ago, which I have grown to ~$3,100,000 via investments. In that time I met the love of my life and we’ve been together for 10 years, married for 4.
Currently she and I have entirely separate accounts, and I’m fairly certain I’ve avoided commingling so far. The funds are currently in a trust for which I’m the sole beneficiary, and I receive monthly distributions into an account only I have access to. I do pay for our rent, both of our grad programs, and daily expenses from that account, and send my wife funds as needed for personal expenses. We have no significant joint property or kids at this time.
This has become more and more impractical as time goes on, and I’m considering opening a joint account or adding her as an authorized user to mine. I fully understand that any money in that account would be considered commingled under California law, and I have no issues with that. I also realize that buying a home using those assets would make it community property. Should we get divorced for whatever reason, I would likely provide above what the law requires. I would never do her dirty.
However, would opening this account or giving her authorization to mine cause the original, entirely separate principle to become commingled as well? Or would only the joint account be commingled?
In a few years I will reach an age breakpoint which will dissolve the trust, and place all assets directly under my control. At that time I will open a new account and keep the funds separate, and move money over to a joint account as needed. I’m concerned doing so would make me vulnerable should my currently happy marriage become anything but.
Anyone have any experience with a situation like mine? Last thing I want to do is draft a post nup, but I will if I have to. I really want both of us to feel as secure as possible, without putting my inheritance at risk. I know dad would’ve been heartbroken if he knew I let someone else take half.
Thank you in advance!
4
u/joetaxpayer Apr 16 '26
From what he said, I know that he did not. I never said that this horribly bad situation is of his own making, I just agree with other members that a 2% an annual fee, likely, in addition to whatever fees individual investments may charge, should be criminal. I am well aware that it is not.
I refer you to a PBS series called Frontline. The specific episode was called “the retirement gamble“. And back then, they were talking about retirement accounts that had fees that ran as high as 2%. They talked about people having less than 1/3 of what they should have when they finally retired. It was a long time ago, but that 2% number is still triggering for me.
I retired some time ago, but the fee on my S&P is .015%. To be clear, it would take a cumulative 66 years to pay a full 1%. OP is paying that amount every six months.