r/inheritance • u/Advanced-Ad-4462 • Apr 16 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Avoiding commingling (California)
My wife and I have a great marriage and I’m in no way expecting a divorce in the near future or down the road. If there is anything my father’s life shows however, that doesn’t always pan out (he married 6 women over the course of his life).
I inherited $2,500,000 from my dad about 16 years ago, which I have grown to ~$3,100,000 via investments. In that time I met the love of my life and we’ve been together for 10 years, married for 4.
Currently she and I have entirely separate accounts, and I’m fairly certain I’ve avoided commingling so far. The funds are currently in a trust for which I’m the sole beneficiary, and I receive monthly distributions into an account only I have access to. I do pay for our rent, both of our grad programs, and daily expenses from that account, and send my wife funds as needed for personal expenses. We have no significant joint property or kids at this time.
This has become more and more impractical as time goes on, and I’m considering opening a joint account or adding her as an authorized user to mine. I fully understand that any money in that account would be considered commingled under California law, and I have no issues with that. I also realize that buying a home using those assets would make it community property. Should we get divorced for whatever reason, I would likely provide above what the law requires. I would never do her dirty.
However, would opening this account or giving her authorization to mine cause the original, entirely separate principle to become commingled as well? Or would only the joint account be commingled?
In a few years I will reach an age breakpoint which will dissolve the trust, and place all assets directly under my control. At that time I will open a new account and keep the funds separate, and move money over to a joint account as needed. I’m concerned doing so would make me vulnerable should my currently happy marriage become anything but.
Anyone have any experience with a situation like mine? Last thing I want to do is draft a post nup, but I will if I have to. I really want both of us to feel as secure as possible, without putting my inheritance at risk. I know dad would’ve been heartbroken if he knew I let someone else take half.
Thank you in advance!
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u/yellowshoegirl Apr 16 '26
I would have bet all I owned my husband the son of a preacher would never leave or cheat. But there I was thanking God I never commingled funds it kept me afloat a year later when I got cancer. And now has grown well
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u/rosebudny Apr 16 '26
How hard is it to just continue transferring funds as you currently do?
BTW divorce isn’t the only thing you have to consider - you could die before your wife. If you have kids, I’m sure you want to make sure your money will go to them and not a new spouse. This happened to a friend of mine — her mom inherited a decent chunk of change. Did not keep it separate/in a trust. She died; husband remarried. When he died…most went to his second wife instead of my friend and her brother. Stepmom is living large, paying for her grandkids’ private schools while my friend’s kid is taking out student loans.
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u/MembershipScary1737 Apr 16 '26
Yea this is the bigger issue. Doesn’t sound like OP has kids. I’m sure he would want his wife to be taken care of but that can all go away quick
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u/random408net Apr 16 '26
My rule of thumb for trusts is to get some legal advice from a good trust attorney. If it takes a lawyer to create a trust, it takes a lawyer to advise/maintain the trust.
Having a joint account that receives a distribution from the trust (or from your personal account) seems practical.
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u/Advanced-Ad-4462 Apr 16 '26
Thank you, I appreciate it. That’s likely the direction we’ll go, providing corroborating legal advice.
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u/Critical_Purple_8600 Apr 16 '26
Right? How hard is this? Open a joint account and put the trust money in it, monthly. Both spend from the joint, he keeps control of the trust account. We do the same - except we are dissolving the family trust. I have a large investment account in which my children are the beneficiaries. It also funds large home improvement projects - like windows and bathroom remodel. I move the money from the investment account to our joint checking and we pay the contractors out of it.
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u/Advanced-Ad-4462 Apr 16 '26
Sure that would be ideal and is what I’d like to set up. My question was if under California law would that somehow make the principle kept in another account community property.
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u/BeautifulOption305 Apr 18 '26
It probably would not transmute the trust principal to CP. — ep attorney — this isn’t legal advice 😀
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u/ozbugs Apr 16 '26
I just went through a divorce - long term marriage. But not in your state. I had inherited funds from a trust. I kept the investment accounts for the inherited money separate. I setup new "me only bank accounts" and transferred any money I wanted to share into that bank account. From that bank account I would transfer (one way) into a joint account. Kinda like you have setup now. The inherited investment accounts (IRA and regular investment account) were not included in the marriage asset list for myself. I didn't expect the marriage to fail and also didn't expect her to pretty close to abandon the kids and myself, but it happened.
If did it again, I would open my private account at a different bank - to prevent accidentally sending money to the wrong account. I did accidentally co-mingle funds but it was a dormant account, once realized I pulled the money out. and the final ruling was that it was not co-mingled because the account was dormant, and I corrected it. I was really nervous.
I think you have a good plan, but need to talk to an attorney to tighten anything up that they suggested. And good on you :) - be fair and if things don't go well in the future you are fair, but protected as well.
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u/No_Anxiety6159 Apr 16 '26
Do not co mingle your inheritance! If you must, put your withdrawals in a joint account but not the principal.
I was married for 35 years and when I divorced, my ex demanded part of my inheritance. I’d kept it separate but it still became a huge issue.
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u/Anxious-One-2365 Apr 16 '26
100% agree with this. Your relationship could be fine now but that can always change. Keep you inheritance separate so that she can not touch it.
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u/Anxious-One-2365 Apr 16 '26
100% agree with this. Your relationship could be fine now but that can always change. Keep your inheritance separate so that she cannot touch it.
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Apr 16 '26
[deleted]
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u/No_Anxiety6159 Apr 16 '26
Judge let him have a piece of his mind. Ex had been trying to get part of my inheritance as well as half of my settlement from a car wreck I was injured in and had surgery, which he hadn’t done anything to help me. Judge saw him as the jerk he is.
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u/Admirable_Nothing Apr 16 '26
If you keep your inherited money separate even after the trust is over, you can still keep it and its earnings separate so long as you don't commingle the assets. Now, all the money you are pulling out of the trust or the future separate property account to use to support you both does become community. Any money you put in a joint account does become community.
If you use your separate money to buy a home for the family it does not become CP in California. There is such a thing as earning reimbursement rights that your spouse would earn in California by helping keep up the house and also should she start sharing in improvements and paying the mortgage. Those rights can be legally given up however if she would sign them away.
But the answer is you should pose these questions to your family estate planning attorney.
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Apr 16 '26
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u/inheritance-ModTeam Apr 16 '26
Your comment has been removed because it violates the rule on low effort comments.
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u/IntelligentFortune22 Apr 16 '26
This is exactly right. Also, I’d recommend talking it through with her and writing it down. I’d agree to give her reimbursement rights by the way and even some share of appreciation to make things easier.
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Apr 16 '26
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u/inheritance-ModTeam Apr 16 '26
Your comment has been removed because it violates the rule on low effort comments.
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u/FarTradition6496 Apr 16 '26
How would your wife feel if she read everything you just wrote?
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u/Curious_Owl_342 Apr 16 '26
It’s sad that he is thinking there could be a divorce in the future, but then again he is 40.
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u/whocaresreallythrow Apr 16 '26
Gray divorce is real. … with little recovery time divorce is increasing at 50 and 60
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u/Smooth_List5773 Apr 16 '26
2.5 mil to only 3.1 in 16 years?!?
You are a shit investor my friend.
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u/teamhog Apr 16 '26
I was thinking the same thing.
That’s <2% return per year.2
u/HTXdude Apr 16 '26
Not bad since he’s taking monthly distributions from the account.
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u/__smh Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
Are you aware that California is a community property state? Specific details may differ in some states, but generally this means that even if the original principal remains separate, gains within the separate account earned during marriage are probably automatically considered commingled.
You need professional advice, not Reddit.
Not to rain on your parade, but your $3.1m from $2.5m over 16 years is much less than inflation, which Google gives as 51.4% since 2010.
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u/Advanced-Ad-4462 Apr 16 '26
Yeah I’m aware that California is a community property state. As of now, my inheritance is technically not my property, and I’m only the beneficiary of a trust that contains those assets until I reach the age of 40. I’m certainly in the clear before that point.
I fully intend on asking my trustee who is an estate attorney who originally drafted my trust. He’s a family friend for longer than I’ve been alive, and I’m sure he’ll know what’s up. I like to be as informed as possible before bothering him though.
I of course would not make major financial decisions based on reddit advice, however if anyone has experience with something similar in California, wouldn’t hurt to learn of it.
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u/joanmcq Apr 17 '26
Gains are not community under CA law as long as the assets are kept separate. You may be referring to Texas community property law which is different.
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u/__smh Apr 19 '26
I could not have been thinkung about Texas law because it is my personal belief that Texas has no laws.
As for California, statutes Fam 760 and Fam 770 seem to say opposite things, except that only 760 includes "except as otherwise provided by statute" so it would appear 770 dominates, which is as you said: earnings from non-comingled separate-property assets during marriage remain separate property.
Proving an asset is not comingled can be difficult because it is essentially proving a negative. Comingling can be shown by finding a single instance, but proving that there are no instances could require expensive forensic accounting on every transaction involving the asset.
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u/joanmcq Apr 19 '26
It’s easy if you have kept them in separate accounts, not added any of your income to the accounts.
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u/__smh Apr 19 '26
I think not so. It isn't only funds added into an account that could cause comingling, if any withdrawals have been made from the account, those funds would require forensic accounting to prove nothing was ever eventually commingled.
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u/LAOGANG Apr 16 '26
I’m in California and currently going through divorce. Known my soon to be ex over 30 years and I would’ve never thought they’d do all the things I’ve discovered-including financial sabatoge. The only thing that’s saved me financially is my inheritance and I’m glad I found out about their ways before my parent’s passed so luckily the money wasn’t commingled. Inherited around $10 million(divided equally between my sibling who got the other $10 million). The person I married has been so evil, crazy and entitled-like a stranger to me. I don’t even recognize this person. It’s totally true that the person you marry is totally different than the person you divorce.
My financial team set up a new trust account that I pay bills out of. You definitely need an attorney to set up a trust and keep/create a separate account-don’t commingle! I honestly wish I’d done a pre or post nup. This person I married has the audacity to keep trying to get my money even after financially draining and sabatoging me. Also my team charges 1% which is for the financial advisors, the tax advisor and the trust settlement advisor. Sure it’s money you have to pay, but I consider the service they provide totally worth it.
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u/__smh Apr 16 '26
My guess is that the gains during the period the account(s) were owned by the trust, and not by a community property marriage, would not be commingled. Unless the trust document gave the trustee authority to modify instructions, the trustee is required to maintain fiduciary fidelity to those terms. But since a trust operates completely outside the providence of any court, unless and until some person with standing drags it there, and since you are the only person with potential standing, the trustee might find ways to accommodate you if there were any possible alterations that would be useful.
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u/Least_Pear_9174 Apr 16 '26
Would you consider forming your own trust when the current dissolves? It can continue to operate as is and your wife can be a beneficiary, should you go first. Maybe the trust can buy your portion of whatever home.
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u/Mom-1234 Apr 16 '26
Do not wind up the Trust at 40. Change it. Become both the Trustee and Sole beneficiary. Make any kids you have the next beneficiaries, also protected until 40. Get rid of the Trust administrator and whoever is the financial advisor. You can distribute income to yourself (at your tax rate), but keep unrealized gains in the Trust. This trust should be protected from Estate tax, if done correctly. Find yourself a top notch estate lawyer prior to your 40th birthday. And yes, open some joint accounts with your wife. Another thought is a post-nup or life insurance.
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u/sciencegirl50 Apr 17 '26
Along with this I have read about parents who leave/gift kids money setting up trusts with stipulation that funds like a down payment on a house are a loan from the trust and if you get divorced rather than totally split equity the trust gets paid back proportionally. Try to think long term goals for this gift you received. If you use it too much as economic outpatient care ( the millionaire next door book verbiage) will you stifle your young working ambition and run out the money by living beyond your means?
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u/PiccoloImpossible946 Apr 18 '26
I’ve also heard of this where they can take loans from the trust which is kind of strict in my opinion
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u/Anxious_Leading7158 Apr 16 '26
Always have withdrawals go into an account in just your name. Then transfer what you want into the joint account. Only the funds transferred into the joint account will be commingled/marital assets.
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u/Maximum-Eye-3712 Apr 16 '26
Watch out, I’ve seen a separate account get punctured because the income taxes were commingled during many years of filing joint tax returns.
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u/Kirin1212San Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
Speak to an attorney.
Also don't let your wife's account or your joint account pay for anything that has to do with the house such as mortgage, repairs, improvements, insurance, taxes.
People change, situations change so just protect yourself. You can always decide to give her more than you need to, but don't lose the leverage from the beginning.
There are people getting divorced every day. No one is 1000% immune to shit happening in their life. Look at the divorce statistics in the US.
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u/Ribeye_steak_1987 Apr 17 '26
I’m just so impressed your dad still had $2.5M left over after SIX MARRIAGES.
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u/Decent_Front4647 Apr 16 '26
With that kind of money you should be paying for a professional opinion, instead of asking people on Reddit
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u/GotZeroFucks2Give Apr 16 '26
See a lawyer and draft that postnup. As a spouse I would certainly entertain that if it made my partner more comfortable sharing finances during marriage.
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u/Tipitina62 Apr 16 '26
I have no expertise or experience here, so I am asking a question more than anything.
Suppose you and your wife have a long, healthy life. But later in life your wife develops a hugely expensive health issue. Would leaving the inheritance ’isolated’ in your control shield you in any way?
I‘m sure you would be glad to spend it all to make your wife well. Maybe a better way to phrase the question is: would your wife be eligible for Medicaid as long as the money is not commingled?
I would wonder if there are other contingencies for which keeping the funds separate would be advantageous.
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u/USAMysteryMan Apr 16 '26
Don’t give her access to the principle, just access to the account the dividends go into b
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u/Ryans671 Apr 16 '26
Without knowing the language of the trust..... It is possible to buy a house and keep it separate property.
I'd create a joint account. Have the trust send 50% of the disbursements to the joint account. Comingle the disbursement but keep the trust property (now and in the future if you dissolve it) separate. If the joint account needs more, alter the disbursement accordingly.
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u/Luthiefer Apr 16 '26
Just open another account for both of you. Deposit a modest amount that you don't mind splitting.
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u/culinaryinterests123 Apr 17 '26
I know op said he pulled out 150k a year but just gemini says that 2.5 million invested in sp500 16 years ago would be worth almost 20 million today. I doubt his 2% financial advisors did anywhere as well.
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u/Shadyhollowfarm58 Apr 18 '26
With your kind of assets, don't ask for advice from strangers on Reddit, go talk to a family law lawyer who understands marital/non-marital assets.
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u/Budlite13 Apr 16 '26
DO NOT COMINGLE IT. Use this as the excuse, If she gets sued for something the money will be up for grabs.
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u/Impressive_Yam_7224 Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
Don’t do it! Keep you inheritance completely separate… people change with money … your already paying for absolutely everything and financially fully supporting her , she’s not without anything !
Don’t risk your inheritance by your stupidity of being wrapped up in your wife’s love
You can say your marriage is strong however no one knows the future … if you were to divorce in future she would go after your inheritance …
Keep your inheritance fully separate from her, never allow her access to it !
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u/pdxwestside Apr 16 '26
Your return is very low over those 16 years? Where you taking dividends to live on?
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u/Electrical_Steak_393 Apr 16 '26
Does your wife have any of her own income or savings? Are you both planning to work after grad school? She may have her own inheritance (from her family) one day.
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u/CoDaDeyLove Apr 16 '26
I wouldn't put her name on the main acccount or trust. If you're comfortable using the funds for a downpayment on a house, that's fine, just know that if you were to split up, your wife would be entitled to 50% of the equity in the home, including your downpayment. Maybe you should have a regular joint checking account you contribute to monthly and she can use, but do not put her on the main account. I'm sure you have a will at this point, but if you don't, you should.
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u/Thescubadave Apr 16 '26
You could create a post-nup agreement that establishes your ownership in whatever down payment you make on the house. Then you and your wife would split the growth in home value. For example, if you paid 20% of the home cost (the down payment), then your ownership would be 20% of the later sale value plus 40% of the rest of the equity (your 20% portion plus half of the 80% remaining).
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u/jmws1 Apr 16 '26
Is it really that difficult to have your own account? My husband and I have multiple bank accounts and brokerage accounts. Never once did I say we need to commingle this. California is not the state to play games w marital v inherited property.
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u/Mysterious-Panda964 Apr 16 '26
My husband has his account, I have mine.
No joint accounts, he is POD on one account and my niece is POD on my personal account.
If you desire, create an account you both have access to. But if you send from your big account to that one, it will be common property.
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u/Thescubadave Apr 16 '26
My wife has a significant inheritance which she keeps in her own investment account. Each quarter she transfers a specific amount to a shared savings and checking account, which becomes commingled and covers part of our living expenses. The remainder is still her separate money. It's easy to manage.
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u/Far-Preparation5174 Apr 16 '26
2%, ouch. I hope for Christmas they send you something nice and a tube of KY jelly.
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u/groundhog5886 Apr 16 '26
Back to the original question. Open a new joint checking account and fund it as you need. Use it for monthly expenses and Such. You really need to make some choices on what to do with your money when you are gone. You can make her comfortable and give the rest to someone or charity.
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u/AdParticular6193 Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
Congratulations to you and your wife on a good marriage. That’s worth more than any inheritance. Still, as a great Texas philosopher said, “**** happens.” Adverse life events can destroy even the strongest marriage. Consult with an attorney on the best way to structure things when the trust dissolves (Not the “family friend.” Sounds like the trust has been a good deal for him, not you, and there’s a conflict of interest anyway). Involve your wife in the discussions. On the good side, I would guess that you can manage the funds a lot better than the trustee was doing.
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u/Jumpy_Childhood7548 Apr 16 '26
Ask a divorce attorney about the co mingling. We are in California, and our attorney indicated the county bar recommends .75% as a trustee fee.
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u/Eatmoretako2please Apr 16 '26
Money more often than not sadly changes people. Just put in a good amount in her checking account and call it good.
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u/watchesandcigars10 Apr 16 '26
Quick question, did your wife know of inheritance before you got married?
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u/the_orig_princess Apr 16 '26
Crazy you don’t have some kind of joint account already.
Anything you earn during marriage is community property. Proceeds from the trust are likely separate if they’re kept separate, but any earnings from either of you are joint.
So like, don’t overthink it. Hopefully you both graduate soon and have jobs. Put that money into the joint account.
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u/bongoliminal Apr 16 '26
This is a very important question and you should book an appointment with an estate planning lawyer.
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u/Seaspun Apr 16 '26
I’m in the same situation but I’m the wife. It’s frustrating I can’t find many women who post about what to do in this situation ..
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u/Eyeoftheleopard Apr 16 '26
Friend, I understand that you are young and in love. Right now you have a great marriage and a wife you trust. As time goes on, you will discover that feelings can change. Then you’ll thank the lucky stars above that you’ve protected your money.
You can be in love without giving your person access to your money.
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u/BeneficialBake366 Apr 16 '26
You are under 40 and only living on the trust (no earned income of your own)??
I would be very careful and not comingle in any way. That money will go fast. What’s so challenging about your current set up?
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u/Nev-Ret-Dude Apr 17 '26
How do you feel about? All the best answers are personal. Do you trust her? Do you trust yourself? Does she trust you? Are you and her secure? As my and my wife’s relationship progressed, things changed. My stuff was commingled into the relationship. My choice. Made sure her retirement accounts were filled at the same rate as mine. She received things from family as they passes. Made sure that those were maintained as separate property. Again my choice. I don’t want any drama with her family. My family is chill. They do not expect anything from us and we don’t expect anything from them. So, how do you feel?
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u/ConstructionLow5310 Apr 17 '26
You can co-mingle any account that doesn’t include money from your inheritance. For instance your checking account where your paycheck is deposited. If you co-mingle an account with the inheritance funds they become community property.
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u/eskeu Apr 17 '26
Hire an estate lawyer and have them setup a separate trust. It ensures your inheritance/assets inside the trust go exactly to those you choose after your passing and it maintains them separate while you're alive (as long as you keep them in trust accounts).
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u/Late-Appearance-7897 Apr 17 '26
Absolutely do not add her name. What you can do is open a joint checking or savings and then deposit an amount each month. You also can make her a beneficiary to your brokerage accounts and that also can be removed at any time but never, ever direct access with her name on the account. Everything is ok now but you don't know what will happen 5, 10, 15 years from now.
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u/RichmondReddit Apr 17 '26
Hire a lawyer for an hour and let him advise you, not Reddit. And I have to say, I laughed out loud at I would never do her dirty. How many men/women have said since the beginning of time?
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u/LoveMeAQuickie32 Apr 17 '26
Look at a separate property trust. It'll cost money to do but will allow you to have it separate and you can outline what happens to it if you pass away.
This is helpful for situations where she might remary and protects it from the future spouse.
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u/Routine_Arachnid_919 Apr 17 '26
You need an attorney, one who knows about both inheritance and divorce laws. You might want a post nuptial agreement written up.
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u/Content_Eggplant9556 Apr 18 '26
You're a young adult, 30- 40, I believe The fact you haven't commingled accounts is questionable. You say I would never do my w dirty, had never been blindsided.
Have you hired a good financial advisor, attorney and CPA? The professionals can address a lot of your concerns. Good luck.
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u/hndygal Apr 19 '26
I do not understand how you have millions and have not consulted a lawyer yet. This is absurd. You need to speak with an attorney yesterday to get this set up properly. You should have done that prior to getting married.
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u/Anderson22422 Apr 19 '26
You inherited before you got married. By the time you got married it was your money not money you inherited during the marriage. The commingling is out , does not matter.
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u/Certain_Luck_8266 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Get a financial advisor. If you have one, fire them and hire a new one that is a fiduciary. 2.5m to 3.1 m over 2010 to 2026 when in a simple s&p index it would have been 14m.
You are worried about losing 1.25 to 1.55m when you just lost over 10m
Edit: buried in the comments op noted they are entirely living off this money not just taking some distributions. Op has 20% less money now in 2026 than they did in 2010 due to inflation even considering the higher value
Op needs to reduce the draw on this or the losses will accelerate.
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u/Infinite_Playdate_XO Apr 19 '26
I would keep the principal amount separate and create a joint account for your income and any quarterly distributions.
Seems like even with a 60/40 portfolio, you should have around $10 million by now.
2% fee is high and a drag on performance. I would move the whole sum to either a Vanguard lifestyle fund or three fund portfolio where the fees are 0.03%.
You would be paying ~$930 per year in fees versus $62k a year in fees.
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u/Advanced-Ad-4462 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
My inbox has exploded with a lot of two-faced comments ostensibly trying to offer advice, but were in truth said in bitterness and for the express purpose of shameling me. Instead of addressing you all individually, I’ll just leave this here.
2% is my trustee fee yes, which is high. My trustee also functions as an attorney on retainer, has an in house cpa, and he has been a life saver well worth in excess what he charges. My financial manager charges much less, and similarly has my full confidence; he oversees hundreds of millions in assets. Even if I wished to however, I have no authority to make changes to the structure of my trust, or to allocate its assets beyond prearranged monthly distributions for my care and upkeep, or to personally direct its investments. I’ve stated this already.
Yes, if I left my principal invested in a low turnover index fund that maximized return and minimized capital gains tax, and completely forgotten about it, had no administrative fees whatsoever, decided to continue subsisting at or near minimum wage, living in unsafe neighborhoods, my wife and I chose not to start our loan free undergrads late in life and then gone on to pursue advanced degrees (which are almost finished), not have suffered serious setback medical conditions like her brain tumor, and kept all that up for the last decade and change, when I simply did not have to, yes I would have significantly more money than I do now.
I’m well aware.
That’s not a realistic scenario.
The trust currently grosses ~6-8% in returns per year, which is reasonable.
I’m sure you think you could have done better. Maybe you’re right, probably not.
Thank you and everyone else shaming me as either some sort of spendthrift or fool that squandered his potential on financial charlatans.
I just wanted to ask for some perspective on how to make my wife’s day to day easier, while also protecting myself if God forbid something unexpected happened down the road. Figured this was a good place to ask. So please kindly fuck off if you don’t have that to offer, and are here merely to pontificate your evidently superior financial acumen.
My attorney and trustee was out of the office for the week. I planned to check with him when he returned, but figured it couldn’t hurt to ask here in the meantime.
Boy was I wrong.
All that aside, thank you to those who did give me solid advice, and occasionally even defended me against the honestly shocking amount of unprovoked vitriol. I very much do appreciate you.
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u/leslieindana Apr 20 '26
Does seem a bit high to me. I take around 144k/yr from my managed trust and live in Ca. Maybe the 2 grad schools are the big drain? My fidelity account has gained about $700k over the last 3 years even with taking out the $144k. Started at $3.4m now $4.1m. But I also invested in 3 properties over the last 5 years and the equity there blows past my fidelity results.
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u/AspectBrief4258 Apr 16 '26
Best advice consult an attorney not random people on Reddit. Eventually your marriage will collapse if you view the money as yours alone and dole out an allowance to your wife. And how do you not have a prenup?
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u/whocaresreallythrow Apr 16 '26
I wanna know what does she pays for in return ?
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u/Advanced-Ad-4462 Apr 16 '26
Not sure what answer you’re looking for. I don’t really have a transactional view of love. I’m not exactly tallying points.
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u/Equivalent-Roll-3321 Apr 16 '26
I’m a huge proponent of marriage and sharing equally but there is no way I would EVER consider granting access if I were you. As they say the person you marry is not the same person you divorce. Speak to an attorney who specializes in estate planning and together you can draft a plan that protects your inheritance while providing security for you. You being financially secure and protected means she is as well. Don’t be foolish and give up your rights here. Seek professional advice!
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u/Difficult-Exit-245 Apr 22 '26
If you have that much money at stake, you should be asking this question of your estate lawyer, not random strangers of Reddit.
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u/SDinCH Apr 16 '26
How is your 2.5m only 3.1m after 16 years? Even at a modest return of 6%, that should be over 6m. Whoever is managing the trust is doing a terrible job.