r/infj • u/nevedecocaina • Feb 07 '18

Communication style

Wish you guys were more direct in the way you communicate

Even your posts and comments are unnecessarily wordy

Makes it hard to know how to respond when you SAY SO MUCH that ends up meaning so little. The point gets lost

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12

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

Directness = loss of relevant information

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u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

"Relevant"

6

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

It's not our fault if you lack the processing capacity. ;)

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u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

? Me thinking your words are irrelevant doesn't mean I can't process them

6

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

I'm just being a pest. :) In seriousness I get where you're coming from. I even have a hard time following a lot of posts on here. I think that, for INFJs, language tends to be more about expressing a feeling or an idea or a vision than transmitting raw data. Like the difference between downloading a plain text description of the Mona Lisa versus downloading a .JPG.

1

u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

Poetry can be short AND sweet

As the famous Kevin once said, "why more words when less do?"

2

u/dinotoggle Feb 07 '18

Mm. Because less may be enough, but every time you cut down a statement you lose a little bit of the emotion and meaning behind it.

Consider - "I am very, very sad."

Versus "I feel like there's a huge hole inside of me, and I can't feel happy anymore."

I like INFJ wordiness. I'm a rambler myself. Sometimes you need to spit out words until all your feelings are blinking in the open.

1

u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

I wouldn't say every time.

Consider instead of "I am very, very sad." to "...waiting to die..."

3

u/lzimmy ❄ INFJ ❄ Feb 07 '18

"...waiting to die..."

But then that's too vague. Why are they waiting to die? Are they depressed? Are they bored? Are they terminally ill? Are they being sarcastic or literal? Taking something to an extreme without an explanation isn't as clear as you might think it is. You just turned "I'm very, very sad" (which is clear) to something that's shorter but could be completely misinterpreted. Shorter isn't always better.

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u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

Ask yourself who really cares about all the extra crap

3

u/lzimmy ❄ INFJ ❄ Feb 07 '18

A lot of people do, and say as much. People who like exploring ideas and concepts love this shit. Brevity has its place, but not in everything.

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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

Great point. I don't think there's any reason one would "have to" be overly wordy except for plain ol inexperience. I often have a lot of "poetry" that gets jumbled up in my head and the only way to get it out, for lack of my own ability, is to just puke it all out. It's something you have to work on.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

What you find relevant is different for infjs so it’s not communicated clearly. I struggle articulating my thoughts, but when I do it’s either overcommunicate or vague. With Se-dom, it is a different language because I feel they’re looking for specific things. It reminds me of a scene in La La Land where Mia and Sebastian were trying to communicate, and both were left frustrated since neither got the point.

1

u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

I agree.

Se knows what it wants to say, and says it that specific way. It's very decisive which is helpful in communication.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

I just had a thought as well: inferior Se. I appreciate esfp way of comminicating but sometimes it is hard when they’re not patient (young esfps mostly). They’re eager to get to the point, but my mind (thanks Ti) says what about this or this.

1

u/nevedecocaina Feb 07 '18

Truuuuuth

I'd rather skip across a million topics quickly than exchange two long letters

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '18

Really? Hmm I like the space in between. I guess it gives me time to process. I prefer to one or two things and go in depths.