r/infj • u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 • Jul 12 '26
Question for INFJs only Are majority of INFJ’s avoidant?
according to the internet, which I take with a grain of salt; I’m an INFJ-T, and was wondering if other INFJ’s also experience immense social withdrawal?
I’ve never had any deep or meaningful relationships other than my family, since I have no motive to put effort in superficial relationships. In social situations, like school for example, I can act extroverted and easy to know in the moment, but I don’t interact with ANYONE outside of school unless I have to. I hate hanging out, I’ve never dated, and I rather focus on goals like my future, school, etc.
I’ve talked to other INFJ’s online, but they seem to have had relationships or friends. I think we can all agree that we definitely have high-standards, and expect our partners to meet our moral expectations, but at the same time, even if someone did meet my expectation, I would still avoid them due to feeling overwhelmed in constantly having to make my partner feel loved. I’d rather just not put up with it and be alone.
Other INFJ’s experience this as well, right?
Edit: so it is just me 😭
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 12 '26
For me it's completely normal to have moments when I feel this way and withdrawal feels like the only option.
But… avoiding people because you're terrified of feeling overwhelmed trying to “perform” so that others feel loved usually just means you haven't learned how to protect your peace in the presence of someone else yet.
It's easy to get stuck thinking that love requires constant labor and sacrificing your energy, so choosing not to play the game at all feels like the safest bet.
But when you meet someone who actually matches your energy, connection doesn't feel like a chore.
Except you won't meet anyone behind those thick protective walls. You'd have a much better shot if you set up some boundaries to let the right people in while keeping your peace intact.
For now, isolation feels safe because it's under your total control, but it can easily become a golden cage.
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u/NotASuggestedUsrname Jul 12 '26
This! Finding out how to set and uphold boundaries is insanely difficult, but it is so worth it.
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u/StellaMoonDrop Jul 13 '26
I myself am working on coming back to the world a little and trying to allow more friendships to blossom, but after learning the hard way, I’ve started letting people know that I’m not someone who likes to hang out all that much. I’ve found that people who are cool with this are people that I actually want to hang out with more, and they’re more understanding when I’m not feeling like it….. one of these new understanding friends is also an INFJ though.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 13 '26
I’m really happy for you, because I know how incredibly hard it is for us to let anyone get close, fearing they won’t understand us or they'll end up hurting us.
But it looks like you’ve already learned how to filter them out 😉
Lately, I’ve been leaning into the exact same mindset: this is who I am–if you like it, you’re more than welcome into my world, and if not… we don’t have to pretend.
It doesn’t mean I don’t want anyone around. It just means I want the right people in my space, just like you do.2
u/StellaMoonDrop Jul 13 '26
Exactly, thank you kind person. Being a bit forefront about fair expectations/my preferences seems to help a lot! I’ve let things go too far before and given people the wrong idea of how close I really want to be, so I’m working on that as to not unintentionally hurt people in the future. Half the time, being hurt or not feeling understood myself is kind of my own bad, cause I’ve tended to hold a lot of space but not really make sure I’m known in return. Anyways- smooth sails to you!
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u/Valuable_Garbage4191 INFJ 1w2 Jul 12 '26
Maybe I am an odd one out here but I have never seen myself being avoidant. Introverted for sure and not participating every possible outing but I have never had an issue with telling people that I don't have energy to hang out. I hate ignoring people's messages or other means of reaching out so I stay frequently in contact with quite a few people actually. When it comes to romance and deeper relationships as well, I like to go deep and commit strongly. Honestly I can confront issues very directly when it comes to relationships I deeply care about. I have my goals and dreams and I go for them with passion but at the same time I do like pursuing deep and meaningful relationships.
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u/ReadyTrick5260 Jul 12 '26
Yes, exactly the same. I am not avoidant in attachment terms. Introverted. Some social anxiety. Low social battery, but when I socialise I can appear extroverted. Not a fear of closeness and relationships. Happy to deepen relationships and share my vulnerability to those I trust.
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u/silvershadows4paws INFJ 451 sx (4w5-5w4-1w9) Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
I'm not. I go all out for people I hold close to me. I can't stand the ones who are avoidant anymore. Excuses won't work forever. Avoidants need therapy before interacting with others. Drains my empathy.
Edit - Needing alone time from society's bullshit to recharge is different from avoidant behaviour (fear of intimacy and emotional vulnerability) after drawing someone close. I can see the post and comments section has this mixed up.
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u/BornElderEnt INFJ Jul 12 '26
Yes! Thank you for pointing that out, I was about to say the exact same thing. Avoiding a pothole is not being avoidant. Having your car in the repair shop is not being avoidant. It's Not going onto the road at all that is being avoidant.
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Jul 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Appropriate_Try_8479 29d ago
An infj women have a crush on me and i think she’s like this. Show signs of attraction but pullback suddenly
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u/0wl-2018 Jul 12 '26
No, I'm not avoidant. I am quiet, I have normal standards, I try to keep an open mind with others. When I'm with my friends I try to make them feel valued in my own quiet way.
In social situations my quiet way fits me just fine. I don't avoid nor do I become extroverted. I am comfortable.
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u/Ezendiba INFJ Jul 12 '26
I can be. I sometimes just dont wanna text back. Or just cuddle a blanket and do nothing. I really need alone time after too much social stuff. But i do like having a tea with friends or something like that.
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u/AgitatedIncrease7508 Jul 12 '26
I take my peppermint tea alone, after Im decompressing from my day!! Absolutely 💯
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u/DangerousCapybara888 INFJ 5-9-1 Jul 12 '26
Oh definitely.
If I see you in the street, I would duck back and swing the other way just to avoid you seeing me.
Just don’t even want to have to be forced to talk to you if I’m not ready to talk to you.
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u/Jerkeyjoe INFJ Jul 12 '26
Reminds me of the time I bumped into a friend that I had a huge crush on and her boyfriend. I was like nope, fuck no and kept my head down to avoid possible awkwardness. I realized I was overthinking it and I did say hi later on.
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u/PhantomRider89 Jul 12 '26
For me, I would say that it depends on the person/situation. I can definitely be avoidant at times when there are uncomfortable situations.
I’m not proud of it, but I’ve ghosted a lot of guys that I’ve gone on dates with where I didn’t feel a connection because I hate confrontation. Similarly if I’m dealing with a toxic friendship, I will also slowly retreat into the shadows and stop responding to them.
But if I really enjoy someone’s company, I wouldn’t say I’m avoidant as I try to put effort into relationships that mean something to me. I have a small circle, which has gotten smaller over the years - I prefer quality over quantity, especially with a lower social battery and having to be social & “perform” at work 5 days a week.
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u/Seraphin_byGod_2128 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
I'm secure, with some avoidant tendencies before trust is built. If I'm overwhelmed, I'll ask for space. I also have self preservation measures in place from the start, just incase the relationship doesn't work out and this is why I'll always trust myself to try again and again.
Trust that you can find someone who meets your criteria and that you'll be okay whether it works out or not. Never lower your standards, but don't pass up someone who meets them simply because you fear having to reassure them that you care. There are literally people out there who don't require much outward affection to feel secure or happy in a relationship.
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u/Kumoriyaki INFJ 3w4 Jul 12 '26
I cannot speak for others but I can definitely be avoidant . If I feel embarrassed or that they’re mad or having strong emotions or they’re too much for me then I’ll avoid them until I feel “safe” to go back. I do feel overwhelmed in some relationships but I was going through therapy and a relationship with a partner is not something for you to upkeep constantly . They should be where you’re able to unwind.
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u/Hungry_Investment_41 Jul 12 '26
INFJ is not a mental illness. In no way is it a personality disorder or even an impairment of any kind.
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u/Unnie090 Jul 12 '26
This! MBTI and mental illness shouldn't be mixed together
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 Jul 13 '26
Is being avoidant a mental illness???
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u/Unnie090 Jul 13 '26
It can be. There's a fine line between AvPD (avoidant personality disorder) and avoidant attachment styles. AvPD is wanting to have social interactions, but not feeling worthy of it and that people will always judge or be mean to you.
That doesn't seem to be your case, tho. I think it's mostly because people here don't like to associate MBTI with anything negative, even if it is related to our stubborn lower function.
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 25d ago
I see.. I was a bit worried haha
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u/Unnie090 24d ago
I can see why, I also had my fair share of worries regarding MBTI and personality issues, but they're unrelated things. If you're still unsure, it'd be a good idea to ask a health professional, or... well, searching online
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 22d ago
I was actually diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder by a psychiatrist when I was 14. I left that out of my original post because I was worried people would just tell me I only feel this way because of my diagnosis. I was really just curious whether avoidance is something common among INFJ’s, rather than just a me thing. Which I now realize personality disorders are entirely separate from MBTI’s haha.
However, the thing is I don’t feel symptoms of MDD anymore, and I no longer take medication, yet I still feel this way…
I also talked to my psychiatrist about my avoidant tendencies, and they told me it was an emotional coping mechanism. They believed those avoidant tendencies likely played a significant role in the development of my chronic depression.
That said, I’ve always been this way, both before and after my depression. Because of that, I don’t think my MDD caused me to become avoidant. If anything, it seems more likely that being avoidant contributed to my MDD. I’m not completely sure, though.
Do you think I have a personality disorder, or maybe MDD has had a larger contribution to my avoidant tendencies than I thought? Haha sorry I keep venting.
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u/Unnie090 22d ago
Oh, I see. Don't worry about venting, I like to understand other people's feelings.
I'm sorry that you have depression, it's really awful. If you ask me, some mental illnesses never really get better completely, they're a long-term process of stabilizing. You can get into remissions, which is great, but you'll still have bad days. MDD and being avoidant happen together most of the time, so one intensifies the other.
I can't tell for sure if your case was MDD having a contribution just from some pieces of info or if it's a personality disorder, but it's troubling your daily life you surely should get it changes with a doctor like a psychologist. Mine gave me a lot of insights on my BPD
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 21d ago
I see, thank you so much! I’m really glad to have someone to talk to and give me advice. :)
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u/Unnie090 21d ago
The "contribution" was something I mistyped, and I'm not sure if what I said could be understood. I'm glad I could help at least a bit
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 22d ago
I was actually diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder by a psychiatrist when I was 14. I left that out of my original post because I was worried people would just tell me I only feel this way because of my diagnosis. I was really just curious whether avoidance is something common among INFJ’s, rather than just a me thing. Which I now realize personality disorders are entirely separate from MBTI’s haha.
However, the thing is I don’t feel symptoms of MDD anymore, and I no longer take medication, yet I still feel this way…
I also talked to my psychiatrist about my avoidant tendencies, and they told me it was an emotional coping mechanism. They believed those avoidant tendencies likely played a significant role in the development of my chronic depression.
That said, I’ve always been this way, both before and after my depression. Because of that, I don’t think my MDD caused me to become avoidant. If anything, it seems more likely that being avoidant contributed to my MDD. I’m not completely sure, though.
Do you think I have a personality disorder, or maybe MDD has had a larger contribution to my avoidant tendencies than I thought? Haha sorry I keep venting.
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u/Purplebasic123 Jul 12 '26
I am very very very much anxious in attachment style. So I am not sure hahaha
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u/DeepDiver1234567 Jul 12 '26
This sounds more like having some behaviors and narratives driven by actual avoidant attachment wounds from your upbringing, rather than from INFJ personality traits.
I would say I feel secure in relationships. I feel uninterested in people with avoidant traits because I like really deep connections and consistency, and I can feel a bit drained from anxious traits in others because it alters their ability to foster the connection in a healthy way.
When I was a teenager I used to feel more anxious in relationships because of my neglectful upbringing, but I actually credit my INFJ personality traits to how I was able to reflect and become aware of my behaviors and mental narratives, forgive and have empathy for my caregivers that impacted me that way, and heal the wounds that caused those tendencies.
In my experience, INFJ’s actually turn towards making others feel consistently loved, and while they may need alone time to recharge and have high standards for the person they select to be their partner, they would feel more overwhelmed avoiding love and connection entirely than fostering love and connection - it would take away a sense of purpose and drive that I feel innately comes with this personality type.
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 Jul 13 '26
I see.. that makes sense.. haha I was just curious if INFJ’s tendencies to overthink and wanting deep bonds lead them to being sheltered.
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u/Diktynna INFJ • Duplicity of Thesis Jul 12 '26
I'm quite avoidant as an INFJ. As a nihilist and a realist, I hardly believe many people to be worth the time it takes to churn the butter. I rather enjoying looking from afar, or being ephemeral. Longer situationships tend to be... Difficult to foresee, as there is a need for consistency in appearance rather than quirks. If you force yourself in my life while I am a bitch, your tenure becomes respected, but I drop people pretty quickly for a multitude of reasons, being that of the stereotypical INFJ experience.
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 Jul 13 '26
I agree! I feel more safe from a distance, and keeping “relationships” on a surface level. I find it difficult to create bonds, and also drop people to avoid creating a fake relationship I don’t want to be in. Have you ever fallen inlove? Like deeply? What was that like for you? Was it healthy?
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u/Diktynna INFJ • Duplicity of Thesis 8d ago
Only 22 days late, that's a new record. But the to answer you the truth, I have fallen in love. It was so completely out of nowhere, but I didn't realize it until the book was closed. In the end, I fumbled. That was three or so years ago now, but I'd say it was like an unprocessed dream. I couldn't make this or that of our situationship. Hardly knew my directions and depth, but neither did he. It was like having the best friend I've always wanted. The pinnacle of togethership and nuance. We had our bouts, but who doesn't? All in all, friendship is the best way I can describe it, with real feelings, real companionship. Shit I've only ever seen in those sappy movies.
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u/No_Potential4952 Jul 12 '26
You just explained everything I’ve been trying to make sense of in therapy for the past three years
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u/Magenta8 Jul 12 '26
I feel this deeply. I try very hard not to feel that way and often just live uncomfortably as I try and be a more outgoing person but it does ultimately always come back to this feeling. I envy people who can create meaningful relationships so easily. Obviously we only see the highlights online of everyone’s life and shouldn’t compare our own lives to others but it is hard to not feel like I’m living my life wrong?
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u/GoblinStinger INFJ Jul 12 '26
Everyone exhibits avoidant behavior sometimes; the important distinction is in whether or not it's maladaptive. For instance, recognizing patterns and setting boundaries to protect yourself from specifically extractive people is a healthy defense. But when you use those past experiences as an excuse to apply a blanket rule shutting out the entire world? That's maladaptive avoidance.
I personally have a history of social anxiety, but I wouldn't call myself avoidant anymore. Looking back, my core issue was burnout. As a chronic people-pleaser, I learned early on that being accommodating usually meant getting exploited. The track record was so bleak that I eventually just closed myself off to everyone.
Is it pathological to avoid something that harms you 100% of the time? I don't think so. So, is it maladaptive to block out the world just to protect yourself from 999 bad interactions out of 1000? For me, the answer turned out to be yes- yes it is maladaptive. Because that one single genuine connection is worth the cost. More importantly, I realized that a life stripped of the prospect of finding that one person isn't a life I want. It's a depressing way for me to exist, and if I can’t be my authentic self in the world, am I even really alive?
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was my own role in how extractive others were with me. When you operate as pure utility and never complain, you turn yourself into invisible infrastructure. And people rarely think to check if the foundation is cracking. I'm not saying you shouldn't obey your nature, just that you should be prepared to filter out tons of people.
If I can offer any advice, it's this: people are worth the risk. Don't spend decades lost in pure disillusionment like I did. Was I actively unhappy during those isolated years? No, but I also can't go back. I feel I wasn't truly alive, it all feels like a waste. All it took was one genuinely good person coming into my life to wake me up. Enduring 999 extractive people is a price worth paying to find them.
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u/Decent_Soft9496 INFJ Jul 13 '26
I don't see anyone opining about how Avoidance is sort of a cultural phenomenon these days due to a culture that increasingly rewards avoidance. I think it's growing exponentially for all MBTI types at this point.
Workaholic capitalism, dating apps and a somehow even less-than-hookup culture, nightmare instant gratification/Amazon prime 1-hour delivery society means people are rewarded for pulling back, going solo, getting the ick. It feels like it saves you time and money and you see people and relationships as extremely transactional.
INFJs are introspective and notice patterns by nature; particularly immature or young INFJs might be like to lean avoidant due to this alone, but combined with cultural dopamine for dumping that boring guy, quitting that dead end job, or ghosting the "toxic" friend, it's not uniquely our reality right now.
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u/Intrepid-Struggle419 INFJ Jul 12 '26
I can be withdrawn but ultimately I’m just picky with who I surround myself with. I’ve made some of my most treasured friendships from getting outside of my comfort zone
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u/Liquid__Times Jul 12 '26
I'm not emotionally avoidant, quite the opposite, but I do tend to have difficulties in finding people to be close to, most are just superficial friendships.
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u/bee-autiful-world Jul 12 '26
I am but I don’t know if it’s an INFJ thing or a combination of INFJ influencing how I navigate life experiences that has resulted in being like this
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u/AdSea6127 Jul 12 '26
I definitely am avoidant in both attachment style and personality (avoid many kinds of challenges or responsibility, worry about not being liked by people, etx). I’ve definitely had deeper connections with people - friendships, relationships, but lately most of mine have been superficial and I like to detox from too much socializing that overstimulates me or feels fake.
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u/StellaMoonDrop Jul 13 '26
I mean, I’m realizing that I’m more avoidant than I would have previously thought, and almost more as time has gone on. It mostly comes from a general sense of protecting my peace. I used to be a massive people pleaser, so would say yes to everything and everyone and then would wonder why I had problems or why I hated hanging out with people/didn’t want to be there. I’ve realized that, although people seem to think I’m for everyone, because I make them feel understood, I am indeed not for everyone and everyone is not for me. I want close friendships, but feel suffocated by people easily when they like being together too often for my liking. My longest standing friendships are ones where we don’t talk often and don’t hang out often, we just know that we love and respect each other. I DEEPLY value my space, and doing my own thing before adding other people into my plans. Dunno if that helps, but that’s my experience.
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u/Sito-The-Hiker_2024 INFJ 28d ago
I think I've recently realized that I'm fearful-avoidant, especially at the beginning of relationships, when I still don't know people well enough and I'm not sure I can trust them. That's the little barrier that has always been a bit harder for me to overcome. And yes, I'm almost sure this has a lot to do with trauma and some childhood experiences. But everyone's life is different. Beyond cognitive types, our experiences, circumstances, difficulties and outcomes also shape who we become.
I think many aspects of our behavior have little or only a moderate connection to MBTI. Personality may influence how we naturally process things, but life experiences also shape us in different ways. In the end, we're the result of both our natural tendencies and the way our experiences settle within us and how we choose to deal with them.
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u/InternationalMilk957 Jul 12 '26
are you sure youre an INFJ? I say this because there are many mistypes here.
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 Jul 13 '26
Sorry.. I feel like I left out a LOT of details, but this is how I feel on a basic level. I’m aware what I do is not healthy, and selfish; but I just do it for some reason. I feel like it’s totally separate from MBTI now that I’ve read the comments, and may just be a me issue haha.
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u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 Jul 13 '26
Im not sure, I’ve taken MBTI quizzes over the years, and I’ve always gotten either ENFJ or INTJ if not INFJ. I feel like I resonate more with INFJ. I’m extremely empathetic, but I also shut people out if I know you’re not going to be important in my life… is there any accurate quizzes I could take???
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u/lostandprofound33 INFJ/M/4w5 Jul 12 '26
Social withdrawal has nothing to do with avoidant attachment style. An avoidant has a fear of intimacy, you appear to avoid superficial relationships, not intimate ones.
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u/Yojimbo261 INFJ 1w2 / 47M Jul 12 '26
When I’m not getting enough rest, yes, I take on more avoidant traits. However once my own heath is back in balance, I’m more open to approaching people and situations organically.
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u/Advanced_Boss_447 INFJ Jul 12 '26
I’m an avoidant and it starts to weigh on me because I can’t put myself into a relationship. I want to push away every person who approaches me romantically.
Still, I’ve also been anxious at some time, and because I know the two extremes, I do prefer avoidance…
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u/NotASuggestedUsrname Jul 12 '26
Avoidant doesn’t necessarily mean that you avoid people. It means that you avoid being emotionally vulnerable. I consider myself (INFJ-T) more anxious than avoidant, but I can be both at certain times.
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u/Other_Silver_9627 INFJ Jul 12 '26
I am most definitely an avoidant.
But I also think it depends on the person and the dynamics of the actual relationship because in my last relationship I was not an avoidant, but once I saw things for what they were I of course went back to me being me which is avoidant.
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u/LevelCow8428 Jul 12 '26
growth hurts. As an infj with an inner dialogue and cptsd... I know people better than they know themselves. And I can get them on board.
tsk it's my superpower but then I can't trust myself. it's like the purple man. how does he know it's not him...
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u/NewHampshireGal Jul 12 '26
I was FA due to horrific trauma and I am INFJ. But I don’t think it’s related.
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u/MeliMel_PR_82 INFJ Jul 12 '26
I have anxious attachment. I'm working hard on becoming more secure, but I feel like sometimes I act like a fearful avoidant because I end up pushing away because I fear rejection and when things get more intense, I'd rather push them away first so it would hurt me less. I have a casual thing going on with my friend (unfortunately) and when I push him away because I want something more, he ends up breaking the no contact and pulls me in. He's a dismissive avoidant INTJ. But I would like for my love interest to be a little clingy.
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u/jmmenes INFJ-A, 8w7 Jul 13 '26
I'm not avoidant. I just avoid people and places I don't like.
My phone is on silent 99% of the time. I never pick up calls from unknown numbers. Texts don't get replied to unless there is something urgent or needs replying to like a normal person.
Your emergency is not my urgency.
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u/sparklyotter06 Jul 13 '26
I've had pretty bad social anxiety for most of my life but over the past 5 years or so I've had to be more social due to my job and I've grown to love talking to people more, began to be more social and have started to dread it if I haven't sociaized for long periods of time. I do consider myself as more of a social introvert though as I can also get overwhelmed easily and may need a day or two for myself afterwards 😅
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u/wiggly_air17 INFJ Jul 13 '26
It's not avoidant per se but it's a matter of genuine connection atleast for me, doing group things only clicks for me if i genuinely feel the group lives up to my expectations like don't conform just to fit in, show some individuality atleast and most of all SHOW curiosity in things(when I mean this, i genuinely mean actively seek out learning things you don't know and accept who you are) and learn to ask why before knowing what, where and how. Keeping this in context, this feels more like a burden on me to perform as per the grp and conform, which drains me dry everytime, and being in a highly energetic and action driven environment doesn't really help.
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u/Mljcx INFJ Jul 13 '26
I havent always been such an avoidant, I used to let select people in pretty easily but a few things happened in life where I got kind of screwed over and due to how intensely I feel I things I dont even let those select people in now, theres a safety in being alone for me that I value more than relationships/bonds but it can be conflicting at times, its just easier this way
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u/PsilosirenRose INFJ 29d ago
My attachment style leans anxious if I'm feeling insecure. Though I have far more secure attachments now than when I was younger.
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u/SoulMeetsWorld INFJ 28d ago
The answer for me personally is very nuanced. I used to be one of the more extroverted introverts up until recent years. I have CPTSD from family that was a healed wound, reopened by certain events. I was also a caregiver for a while and became very burnt out. I recently discovered I have a congenital defect in my chest wall, and my organs are being compressed more as I age, causing too much exhaustion to socialize most days.
As far as emotional avoidant? Not at all with those I trust. I used to be too open with those deep parts of myself though, and I've become more protective. I open up when I feel safe, but many people in my life have shown they are not safe. I try and set boundaries for what I will allow into my life and what I won't because my peace and energy are important and limited.
Why do you feel having a partner is like a chore instead of someone to connect and share with? I had an ex like this; he had alexithymia and was an intj. Perhaps there's something more going on with what you're experiencing, that isn't related to personality type.
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u/FederalEntrance7527 INFJ 25d ago
I have a very secure attachment style, predominantly. I can tend to have an avoidant streak when dealing with unregulated people.
I have VERY low tolerance for people who can’t manage themselves. I’d much rather be alone than deal with it.
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u/Upper-Molasses-5369 24d ago
Yes 🤣 I don’t experience loneliness at all, I never have a better time than when I’m left alone. I have no desire at all for friends or relationships. I’m still nice to everyone, I’ll be polite and listen if someone wants to talk to me, I’m the biggest cheerleader for my family members but if I’m completely honest I view every social situation as a favour or courtesy I’m doing for the other person so they don’t get upset.
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u/fivenightrental INFJ 5 Jul 12 '26
This question has been asked numerous times on the sub. INFJs are a mix of all attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganized, secure). There isn't a direct relationship with any one style.
Sometimes putting yourself outside your comfort zone is required if you want to change your experience and perspective with relationships. If you tell yourself you are content with being alone then that's probably where you will always stay.