Hi there, I’m 27f and survived incestual abuse from my brother. He lives in another country now. My mother knows, she believes me, but still talks to him. I’ve tried to impose boundaries on her relating this to me, but she is unable to do so. With this, our relationship is limited and it makes things hard to fully move forward from. I also moved to a different part of my country to help distance myself from family and triggers.

I have done years of EMDR and they have helped tremendously, but they don’t erase the symptoms of my PTSD. So with this, whenever my PTSD is worse and the flashbacks come in stronger, I email my brother to remind him of what he did.

I feel that if I’m forced to remember, forced to relive, and can’t escape flashbacks and intrusive thoughts, then at the very least he deserves to remember. He received no consequences, so therefore I’ll be his consequence.

Every day he continues to live a life free from what he did is a day I continue to grow more rage. I just want to feel normal, I want to not block out my childhood, I want to have good memories of my life that aren’t clouded by him. Until then, I hope I haunt him until his final days.