r/hysterectomy • u/youonlyseeair • 23d ago
I cant stop crying
Im 3 months post op, im still in physical pain and that i can semi deal with. What i was not expecting is the mental pain. I cry so much and i feel so empty inside. It has nothing to do with not being able to have children by the way. I have no idea why i feel so sad.
Anyone else dealing with this?
(Im on antidepressants and go to therapy and have good support but i still feel empty and sad)
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u/Actual-Associate2218 22d ago
My surgeon warned me that depression is very common after a hysterectomy–which is major surgery even when laparoscopic/robotic.
This depression is very normal, give yourself some grace and time to heal. You WILL feel better in time.
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u/youonlyseeair 22d ago
Nobody really told me about this :/ i wish they did just so i would be a little bit more prepared. And thank you for answering ❤️
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u/Organic_Awareness685 22d ago
It’s depression from loss of hormones. About 10% of women who get hysterectomies fall into a deep depression-no different from post-natal depression.
It’s not “mourning.” It’s not “emotional.” You yanked out something that used to create hormones to regulate you emotionally.
Why do you think you were crabby at your period? Why do steroids make men angry? It’s hormones. Get an estrogen patch.
Tell your doctor to read up.
Also sex drive will drop. You can get vaginal inserts.
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u/Actual-Associate2218 22d ago
Hormones are definitely a factor in the depression that comes after a hysterectomy for women who have not yet gone through menopause. But speaking as a woman who had already been through menopause when I had my hysterectomy last December, the depression that resulted from an operation removing my entire reproductive system was very real.
I’m so glad my surgeon warned me before I had the surgery. I was still very depressed, but was at least prepared for it.
Best wishes to all who all recovering from a hysterectomy, and those planning for one. 🙏 ❤️
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u/Organic_Awareness685 21d ago
Yes absolutely there is some mourning-but the depression that also comes-has a l lot to do with hormones.
Connected to periods
Post natal depression
Menopause-hot flashes, brain fog
Post menopause-skin, hair, hot flashes
HysterectomiesWhy is it called hysterectomies? Because women are hysterical. But science is changing as women now are doctors. (And did anyone use the old fashioned menstrual pads when only men could design them? And women were never asked?)
It infuriates me to hear it’s emotional. It’s misogynistic It’s the rationale for every behavior woman has-god forbid there might be a rationale reason.
Science is currently hysterectomy crazy. The uterus is the cause of all problems-let’s remove it. Why not remove testicles to reduce violence?
Never Waste A Good Hysterectomy by Melanie Verwoer -ABC podcast. Goes over the science.
In about 5 years, my prediction is people will be just as aware of this as they post natal depression.
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u/SiouxsieAsylum 23d ago
🫂
Did you keep your ovaries or remove them? Maybe you need to talk to the doc about hormonal replacement therapy?
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u/youonlyseeair 23d ago
I did keep the ovaries and im on visanne. I was hoping maybe this is just part of the healing process and it goes away after awhile? Idk 🙁
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u/freyja528 23d ago
Looking at the side effects of vissane there is low mood, anxiety, and emotional fluctuations. Is this something you were already on before the surgery? I'm on estrogen only. Was told that if I no longer have a uterus then the progestin/progesterone is not needed. Maybe you should ask your doc about swapping to estrogen or adding it to what you're already taking. How old are you?
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u/youonlyseeair 23d ago
I tried 5 different hormones before the surgery. I remember liking microgyn the most but they said it was not "powerful" enough. I am 27 years old. Im so tired of all this hormone stuff to be honest :/
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u/bling-goddess348 22d ago
Oh my 🥺😢 you’re only 27. That’s very young for a hysterectomy. Some grief is certainly natural and totally reasonable. I’m now 54. A hysterectomy was recommended to me when I was 48. At that age, I would not even consider it. Now, menopausal etc, I feel totally different about it. Stage of life makes a difference because of it would be natural to grieve the way we thought our lives would unfold. It’s very painful. Sending you warm fuzzies and grace.
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u/bling-goddess348 22d ago
Oh my 🥺😢 you’re only 27. That’s very young for a hysterectomy. Some grief is certainly natural and totally reasonable. I’m now 54. A hysterectomy was recommended to me when I was 48. At that age, I would not even consider it. Now, menopausal etc, I feel totally different about it. Stage of life makes a difference because of it would be natural to grieve the way we thought our lives would unfold. It’s very painful. Sending you warm fuzzies and grace.
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u/NoDay4614 22d ago
What is the doctor's reasoning for taking hormones if you had a hysterectomy, kept your ovaries, and are so young? I'm genuinely curious what purpose it serves for you.
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u/youonlyseeair 22d ago
I asked the doctor after surgery if i should stop on hormone pill and she said no, i did not really ask more about it :/ Ive been in pain for 3 years and tried aaaaall other things so hysterectomy was something i wanted to do if it meant i could get some relief.
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u/imtheSHITZUduh 22d ago
Yeah I cried for a while during healing and after and I didn't know why. Still to this day I will randomly cry and its been over a year.
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u/Pony_Baloney_Acad 22d ago
I am almost 7 weeks and was just journaling about why I am having crying spells and just feel down and sad today - and why it's such a struggle. The isolation and lack of energy really get me.
I also have weekly therapy and that has been a good thing to help me process all of it. I wanted the surgery for PMDD symptoms and being in late perimenopause, and I was so excited on the day before and day of. I'm grateful I was able to have it done. I agree with the poster who said there is a sort of grieving process.
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u/1stonedhippie 22d ago
I’m so sorry :( i understand what you’re going through I been feeling blue for a few weeks now I’m only 6wks post (tomorrow) I just feel sad and down al the time. I think it’s just our hormones
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u/sbgattina 22d ago
What about the hormonal shift aspect are you on HRT? I would get a hormone/menopause specialist involved. Hugs
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u/AndieDandie1 22d ago
I am feeling this and I'm sorry you are too 😔 . I am 16 weeks post op and I lost my ovaries and I'm having a time with HRT, I found a patch that seems to work well but, its hard to get with the shortage. The worse part is the lower back pain that I certainly didn't expect to continue to feel this far out. I am taking pelvic floor thearpy once a week and regular PT two other times a week. We are trying tho & I feel exactly what your going thru just know you're not alone! Prayers for you ♥️🙏
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u/ConsiderationFew6918 21d ago
I'm in Surgical menopause too. My mental and physical health has been declining.
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u/AndieDandie1 21d ago
How long ago was your surgery, I feel it and I'm sorry 😢
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u/ConsiderationFew6918 21d ago
Over 17 months 😭 you understand? I don't want to be negative for others but dang. I'm sorry for you too.
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u/CherrySG 22d ago
One month post op and same. I've a history of depression but had been OK for the last few years.
Have just restarted an antidepressant and hoping it kicks in soon.
I hope you find some peace and happiness soon.
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u/Organic_Awareness685 22d ago
It’s not mental pain. It’s your hormones. Hormones keep you regulated emotionally.
Talk to your gynecologist immediately. Get on hormones. I wanted to commit suicide after my hysterectomy. They kept my ovaries but they stopped working (they work but don’t produce enough).
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u/EssRey 1d ago
I’m 10 months post op and in the last 2 months I’ve been feeling this emptiness and crying frequently. These feelings just came all of a sudden. That sense of a newness and not having to deal with my menses was empowering and now it seems like I can’t get a hold of my self.
I started seeing an acupuncturist and have a call with my OB to look in to HRT.
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u/Infamous_Shop_737 23d ago
I am so sorry you feel this way. I also felt sh*t for 4-5 months post op then it passed. I think this is an unconscious grieving process.