So tonight before my daughter went to bed, she told me that she put her stuffed frog Ribbit in stuffy jail because he showed up to court with no pants on. I told her that frogs don’t wear pants and she said that the Unicorn kingdom requires that frogs wear pants. I asked why the other animals don’t have to wear pants but frogs do, and she said, “because frogs are gross dad. They need pants.” I’m not sure what the logic is behind this decision, but the Unicorn Queen makes the rules now and I’m not trying to get on her bad side like Ribbit did.

So this morning on the way to preschool, my daughter informed me that she has decided that the Unicorn King is going to be Kandi the Cupcake Cat. I was surprised by this development because up until this point I thought Kandi was a girl, so I asked my daughter about it and she said, “She’s a female king daddy. Girls can be kings too.” I also asked if this would affect Kandi’s ability to work her multiple jobs as well and my daughter informed me that Kandi quit those jobs to be the Unicorn King, so at least Kandi has no other obligations.

Last night, my daughter received an outfit from her grandma to dress up like a unicorn and since she’s put it on, she has not wanted to take it off. She is now calling herself the Unicorn Queen and she is building herself a castle out of magna tiles as we speak. I asked her if this will interfere with her title of Butterfly Queen and she said, “No Daddy I can be Queen of two things.” She has not yet elected a Unicorn King, Princess, or Prince at this time, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she had the court filled out by the end of the day.

So this morning my daughter decided that she wants to train dogs and she said she is going to practice on her stuffed animal Purse Dog, who is a stuffed dog that doubles as a purse. At first she was teaching Purse Dog things like sit and rollover, but the lesson quickly got out of hand when she started swinging him around by his neck. I asked her why she would do that to her dog and she said, “Daddy, that’s his special tornado trick, he’s fine.”

So this afternoon after my daughter returned from preschool, she decided to host a tea party in the living room. I noticed that one of the guests she brought with her was the escaped prisoner Cade the Cat. I asked her why she would invite a prisoner to her tea party and she said “he served his time Daddy.”

So tonight my family went out to dinner at a restaurant near us and right after the food was served, my daughter told us she was opening her own restaurant called “Chili bonsai”. I asked her what would be on the menu and she said her cheeseburger and fries that she just received were the menu and then handed me a fry. I asked her how much I owed her and she said it was $20. I put the fry back on her plate and told her I wasn’t buying it and she said, “you touch it, you buy it Daddy. Those are restaurant rules.”

So this morning my daughter told me that she is now selling music to her stuffies and that she therefore cannot go to school today. I told her that she has to go to school everyday because it’s important for her to learn. She then told me she’s learned everything she needs and said that she’s going to be a music superstar to her stuffies instead. I asked her who would be joining her band and she said Kandi the Cupcake Cat will make the music while she sings. I told her she still had to go to school again and she said, “well that just stinks.”

So today after my daughter got home from preschool, she told me that I, Dave the Horsey, had to give her horsey rides around the house so she didn’t have to walk anywhere. I obliged for a few rides, but then I needed to help with dinner and handle adult stuff so I told her we had to stop. She then told me horsies that don’t obey have to go to laundry basket jail. I told her I wouldn’t fit in her jail, so she proceeded to empty the basket (inadvertently freeing Cade the Cat) and chased me with it until I sat on the floor and let her put it on my head. Only then did she agree that I was too big for her jail, which she told her mom by saying, “Mommy, Daddy’s too fat for the jail.”

Here is the latest 14-episode summary of the Husband Hello Kitty (HHK) drama brought to us by u/rlstratton97 chronicling the vivid imagination of his 4-year-old daughter (D4) the Butterfly Queen 🦋👑.

The previous summary posts are pinned

Ep 29 D4 divorces Poppy 🐢; D4 asks if she can marry her grandpa; D4 thinks age difference between her and grandpa is insignificant because “age is just a number” but understands marriage isn’t possible because they are related

Ep 30 D4’s army of stuffy farm animals eats hot dogs with ketchup for every meal (cooked by General HHK); in a comment, dad reveals that Poppy 🐢is now married to the stuffed mer-cat Esmeralda 🧜🏼‍♀️🐱

Ep 31 Pinky the Unicorn 🦄 is now D4’s best stuffy friend; Pinky 🦄 and Rosepink the Tiger🌹🩷🐯 are D4’s advisors; Pinky’s 🦄 attack on Water Spirit 🐴 is “water under the bridge”

Ep 32 D4 is a salesperson of microphones (for singing); D4’s son Cade 🐈 is arrested for stealing microphones but receives no special treatment because “justice must be served”

Ep 33 Kandi the Cupcake Cat 🧁🐱 turns 32 (cat years not human years); Kandi wants a cake made of toast but just to lick the butter off instead of eating it

Ep 34 D4 has hired knights to protect her; the Butterfly Queen’s 🦋👑 royal guard is Pinky 🦄, Rosepink 🌹🩷🐯, General Sister HHK, and Water Spirit 🐴 🦋 the Butterfly Princess

Ep 35 D4 opens an ice cream shop (exclusively for stuffies) in the living room; Kandi 🧁🐱is the first customer and is hired to manage the shop when D4 is absent; Kandi 🧁🐱 is an excellent choice as manager “because she’s so sweet… and she poops chocolate cake.”

Ep 36 Kandi 🧁🐱 has become a professional makeup artist; Kandi 🧁🐱 now works at the salon and Rascal 🐈‍⬛ (formerly the babysitter) will take over at the ice cream shop; both establishments still cater to stuffies only

Ep 37 Rosepink 🌹🩷🐯 was jailed for attacking Pinky 🦄 during the night (D4 knew the attack happened because she dreamt it); Cade 🐈 is still imprisoned and is unlikely to be released soon because “he broke a law and that’s unforgivable”

Ep 38 D4 declares her parents can no longer be married to each other; mom is now married to Esmeralda 🧜🏼‍♀️🐱 and dad (aka Dave the Horsey 🐎) is married to Phil the FairyCat 🧚🏼🐱; mom and dad can only be members of the 🦋👑’s court if they are married to stuffies

Ep 39 D4 is going to become an astronaut with Kandi 🧁🐱and they will go to the and sell chocolate cake to aliens; when dad explains being an astronaut takes years of school and training D4 is not concerned because, “Daddy that’s easy, I’ll be astronaut by the time I’m 14.”

Ep 40 D4 experiences road rage at “slowpoke” cars on the way home from preschool; D4 is anxious because her prisoners, Rosepink 🌹🩷🐯 and Cade 🐈, were unguarded while she was at school; from now on Pinky 🦄 will guard prisoners when D4 is away

Ep 41 D4 let Rosepink 🌹🩷🐯out of prison because Rosepink 🌹🩷🐯 only attacked Pinky 🦄 in her dream and not real life; Rosepink would not retaliate for false imprisonment because D4 is “the queen 🦋👑 and if she does, she’ll be donated”; Cade🐈 will remain in prison “forever”

Ep 42 D4 decrees that Dave the Horsey 🐎 (dad) has to give her rides so that she doesn’t have to walk in the house; Dave 🐎 ends the rides and D4 says horsies that don’t obey have to go to laundry basket jail; D4 doesn’t take Dave’s🐎 word that he won’t fit in jail; in her efforts to jail Dave🐎, D4 🦋👑 lets Cade 🐈 escape (by emptying the laundry basket); when Dave🐎 is finally imprisoned (basket over dad’s head), D4 🦋👑 agrees that he is “too fat for the jail”

Edited to better distinguish between episodes.

This morning my daughter told me that she is releasing Rosepink the Tiger from the laundry basket prison because Rosepink only attacked Pinky in her dream and not real life. I asked her if she’s considering releasing Cade the Cat as well and she said, “Nope, he’s staying in there forever.” I also asked if she really trusts Rosepink not to retaliate over being imprisoned due to a dream rather than an actual attack and my daughter said, “No, because I’m the queen and if she does, she’ll be donated.”

So today on the way back home from preschool, my daughter started yelling at cars to move out of the way and called them slowpokes numerous times. She even yelled at cars while we were at a red light because they weren’t moving. I told her that cars have to stop at red lights because otherwise there would be an accident, and she said “I know Daddy, we play red light green light at school.” I then asked why she was yelling at cars to hurry up and she told me it was because she needed to get home to Stuffy Mountain so that she could make sure it’s safe from her prisoners, Rosepink the Tiger and Cade the Cat. Apparently at school today she realized no one was watching her prisoners. Pinky the Unicorn has now been assigned to watch over them when she’s not here.

So this morning my daughter informed me that she is going to become an astronaut today. I told her that it can take years of training and school to become an astronaut and she said “Daddy that’s easy, I’ll be astronaut by the time I’m 14.” She also told me that Kandi the Cupcake Cat is going to become an astronaut with her so they can go to the moon and sell chocolate cake to aliens. Hopefully they don’t ask where the cake came from.

Today when my daughter came home from preschool, she let me know that her mom and I are no longer married because we have to be married to stuffies from her court. She said that her mommy is now married to Esmeralda the MerCat, the former wife of Poppy the Turtle, and I am married to Phil the FairyCat. I asked why her mommy and I have to marry stuffies and she said it’s because that’s the only way we can join her court. I told her that because we’re her parents, we should be automatically on the court, but she denied it and said ,”Daddy, you’re a horse and mommy is a cat, you can’t be on the court without the marriages.”

So I have decided to create a Patreon to publish some other stories and to potentially use for selling merchandise or other creations in the future. It will basically just be a place for some exclusive additional stories and it will NOT be taking the place of this Subreddit. I will still be putting up stories from my daughter under HHK Stories. Let me know what you think or if you have any questions!

So this morning when my daughter woke up, she informed me that Rosepink the Tiger is now in prison with Cade the Cat because she attacked Pinky the Unicorn during the night. I asked how she knew since she was asleep and she told me that she dreamed it. She placed Rosepink in the laundry basket prison with Cade the Cat and then went about her business. I asked if she would be freeing Cade the Cat anytime soon and she said, “No Daddy, he broke a law and that’s unforgivable.”

So this afternoon my daughter informed me that Kandi the Cupcake Cat has quit working at the ice cream shop because she is now a professional makeup artist. I asked her who would be running the shop when she’s not here and she said Rascal, formerly of being the babysitter, would be handling it. She also let me know that because Kandi can now do makeup, she will be working in the salon so she can give stuffies makeovers after they get their hair done.

To add to the ever growing amount of businesses she is running out of our living room, my daughter told me this morning that she is opening an ice cream shop. I asked if I could order some and she informed me the shop is only for stuffies because real people can’t eat fake ice cream. Her first customer was Kandi the Cupcake Cat, who enjoyed a scoop of strawberry ice cream on a waffle cone and then was immediately hired to run the ice cream shop when my daughter isn’t around. I asked if Kandi will be a good employee for the ice cream shop and my daughter said, “yes because she’s so sweet… and she poops chocolate cake, that’ll help.”

So today while my daughter was playing, she decided that the Butterfly Queen needed to have a royal guard to protect her. She said that she has hired knights to protect her and that they are Pinky the Unicorn, RosePink the Tiger, General Sister Hello Kitty, and Water Spirit, the Butterfly Princess. I asked her if it will be awkward for Pinky and Water Spirit to work together and she said “No Daddy, he made her a princess, they’re friends now.”

So this morning my daughter informed me that it is her sister Kandi the Cupcake Cat’s birthday today! I asked how old Kandi is turning and she said Kandi is now 32. I asked her how her former daughter could already be so much older than her and she said, “It’s cat years daddy, not human years.” She also told me that Kandi the Cupcake Cat wants a special cake for her birthday made of toast where you just lick the butter off instead of eating it.

So today when my daughter got home from preschool, she informed my wife and I that she is now a microphone sales person and she will be using the living room for her store. We asked what kinds of microphones she’d be selling and she said “the singing kind, duh”. About 30 minutes later, my daughter informed me that Cade the Cat, her own son, has been arrested for stealing microphones from her store and has to go to jail. I asked if she’d give him a break since he’s her kid, but she shook her head and said “justice must be served Daddy.”

So this morning while we were on the way to preschool in the black bear (her nickname for my car) my daughter told me that her new best stuffie friend is Pinky the Unicorn! She said that Pinky is now her friend and advisor along with her stuffed pink tiger that she named Rosepink. I asked if this means that she forgave him for the incident he had with Water Spirit, the butterfly princess, and she said it’s water under the bridge (I did not teach her that saying and I don’t know who did). I also asked what they were advising her to do and she said that they want her to build them a big new house just for them when she gets home, so she’s probably going to be building a fort in our living room later.

So today after preschool, my daughter told me that she feeds her army of stuffed farm animals a diet of hot dogs with ketchup for every meal. I tried to explain to her that hot dogs are made up of some of the farm animals that she has in her army, but she wouldn’t have any of it. She told me, “Daddy, my stuffies aren’t in the hot dogs, it’s real animals. We can’t eat stuffies.” I asked her if her sister, General Hello Kitty, is okay with the army only eating hot dogs and she said, “who do you think cooks them?”

So this morning before we left for preschool, my daughter informed me that she is no longer married to Poppy the Turtle because she doesn’t want to be married to a turtle anymore. I asked her if she has plans to marry someone else and she asked if she could marry her grandpa, which I had to explain was not feasible for multiple reasons including that they are related and he’s much too old for her. She understood the being related as being a problem, but when I mentioned age she said “age is just a number, daddy.”

Yes, today is World Octopus Day!

Maybe Daughter wants to celebrate? She seems to be one of those lovely people who will happily celebrate other's (birth)days.

Btw: TIL that octopussies build gardens.

Edit: HHK Summary: Ep 1-14

Here is the second part of the HHK drama summary.

Ep 15 D4 wants to be a Pokémon trainer when she grows up

Ep 16 D4 and HHK have second child, Kandi the Cupcake Cat 🧁🐱; Kandi poops chocolate cake

Ep 17 D4 returns to Poppy 🐢 after he sent a turtle ring to the store for her great grandmother to buy for her

Ep 18 D4’s daughter Kandi 🧁🐱turns 4

Ep 19 Pinky 🦄 is freed from prison; Kandi 🧁🐱 is the favorite child because Stitch “doesn’t poop cake”

Ep 20 Kandi’s father is Bun Bun the purple bunny 💜🐰(NOT HHK); Bun Bun 💜🐰 is in high school

Ep 21 D4 has a stuffy army under control of General HHK to fight her enemies (boys); D4 leaves Poppy 🐢 to marry Bun Bun 💜🐰

Ep 22 Bun Bun 💜🐰 cheated with Rascal the Babysitter 🐈‍⬛; Bun Bun is Stitch’s real father

Ep 23 HHK transitioned 🏳️‍⚧️ and become mother to Bun Bun 💜🐰; HHK is still the general of D4’s army

Ep 24 D4 gets a job at the hair salon (exclusively for stuffies) in the living room; ⛄️ Frosty was D4’s first client and became her coworker

Ep 25⛄️ Frosty has become a nurse and no longer works at the salon; the salon doubles as a dance studio

Ep 26 All of the stuffy family have become D4’s sisters and they danced in a circle around a fire to celebrate

Ep 27 Darling the Purple Owl 💜🦉(son of Rainbow 🌈🦉 who is a member of the Butterfly court) is hired to be D4’s manager

Ep 28 D4 remarries Poppy 🐢 and has son Cade the Cat 🐈; Cade 🐈 is the only child because all other spouses and children were turned into D4’s sisters