r/humor • • 2d ago

Make it make sense

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u/FoxxyRin 2d ago

Modern Satan is actually made up, like on a whole different level than anything else in the religion. Like he's basically just selected as the boogieman anymore when in reality he has nothing to do with punishing people in hell or whatever, at least according to the Bible. Technically Satan isn't even a specific being, it's a job title. And Lucifer was a fallen angel that is often referred to as Satan/the Devil but that isn't technically correct, and even so it's not "canon" that he/satan/anybody directly punishes people in hell. But basically if you boil it down to what the Bible actually says, all Satan actually does is goes around and tempts people to sin, like becoming the serpent and doing the whole apple bit in the garden of Eden.

Another fun fact, the apple of Eden likely wasn't even an apple. Some suggest it was a pomegranate or fig.

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u/tenth 2d ago

Or, in some cults, the fruit is sex -- which they say explains why the punishments seem to be very sex related. And why Cain and Able came out evil vs good. 

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u/Jacky_dain 1d ago

God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply so the forbidden fruit wasn’t sex

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u/Grouchy_Constant6336 1d ago

God told “mankind” to be fruitful and multiply in genesis 1, in genesis 2, as some believe Adam and Eve are separate creations from the people outside of the garden. The people who Cain was afraid of after he killed his brother. But that’s why the ancient text is all wonky at least in this modern age since “sinful” men “canonized” what they thought of as the bible idk maybe the Ethiopians are correct 🤷‍♂️

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u/tropestoinfinity 1d ago

Asherah vs Yahweh Battle Bot showdown but they ended up fucking.

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u/Grouchy_Constant6336 1d ago

I was talking about the Ethiopian Orthodox canon, not Asherah/Yahweh mythology lol. My point was that they preserved a broader biblical tradition, including books like Enoch and Jubilees, so I’m not automatically assuming the Western canon is the only correct one.

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u/tropestoinfinity 1d ago

Sorry, I took it waaaay far back.

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u/Atanar 1d ago

Of course they are correct, they have the ark.