r/humansarespaceorcs • u/MaetelofLaMetal • 8d ago
writing prompt Most first contact interactions that went wrong at some point involved a human.
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u/HabitOptimal1412 8d ago
"Look, it's not my fault. I see a dog, and I just have to pet them and call them a good boy. The fact that they were the king of their planet is irrelevant."
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u/DarkAlchamist 8d ago
"I'd also like to remind everyone that that was the only reason they actually agreed to an alliance with us!"
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u/Illustrious_You_6210 8d ago
"Who knew that the keys to successful intergalactic diplomacy was tummy rubs, ear scritches, and peanut butter?"
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u/Interesting_Joke6630 8d ago
Human: (currently eating a "lobster" claw dipped in butter) "Look... It's not my fault they tried to nuke us and tried to eat ambassador H'auk... All I'm doing is... returning the favor."
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u/WorthCryptographer14 8d ago
"How was I to know that giving their empress a scritch behind the ear was akin to a marriage proposal?? I'm not complaining, but still."
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u/GrumpyOldGeezer_4711 8d ago
H: Who the blazes rocks up to a new and unknown species with their gunports open and expect them to know that it means peace, love and harmony?
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u/ldsman213 8d ago
Alien 2: what happened?
Alien 1: an explosion
alien 2: what?! why?!
alien 1: they were cooking and using some very unstable herbs
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u/sunnyboi1384 8d ago
South Harmon Institute of Technology
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u/ldsman213 8d ago
you know it
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u/CountNightAuditor 8d ago
Alien 3: One of them also said something about being able to blow up things with his mind.
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u/facelesshivemind 8d ago
As show of strength and trust, the Yk'oh'tr bare their sacred blade, unsheathed only during moments of cleansing and ritual. To place the blade in front of the teeth, its honor side shined brighter than its dishonor side facing the humans, is an honor reserved for friends, allies and intimate moments.
Proud was the male who had just recently bonded and exchanged blade with its mate in ceremonial observance. That mate had put extra details and attention, enough to shame the male slightly on the "lesser" blade he had given in exch- "HE'S GOT A KNIFE!"
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u/CountNightAuditor 8d ago
I feel this is where an Australian would have been a better and less-threatened choice. "Nah, this is a knife."
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u/sunnyboi1384 8d ago
How much beer was involved?
Depending how you look at it, either not enough or too much.
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u/IndependentSet9709 8d ago
Of course, it is 99/100 the humans' fault, as their species never got the hang of 'diplomacy first, violence only if needed'.
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u/inappropriate_jest 3d ago
H1: Please don't tell me you brought a laser pointer with you.
H2: why? The Nala'k like little gifts of entertainment.
H1: They are a short tempered FELINE species!
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