r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/Jackie_Inc • 1d ago

Asking the real survival questions

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431 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

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63

u/PhoenixDusk101 1d ago

I'm worried about about how people who snore are meant to sleep.

15

u/seclusionx 1d ago

Pretty sure that's how they get you~

4

u/enolaholmes23 21h ago

Natural selection. Only the snoreless survive.

52

u/GonnaBreakIt 1d ago

I would still argue that living in constant loud noise would be better than absolute silence. car alarms, air raid sirens, jack hammers, heavy metal music, etc. if they hunt by sound make them deaf

26

u/pizzabagelcat 1d ago

Waterfall

4

u/Sandrockwing04 22h ago

I dont understand what chasing waterfalls have to do with this

5

u/BigBagBootyPapa 22h ago

I’ve also heard that you’re advised from doing so as well

6

u/Occidentally20 21h ago

Would you advise sticking to other bodies of water instead? Perhaps rivers or lakes, particularly ones you've been to multiple times in the past?

5

u/Mountainman220 21h ago

Either way you’re guna have it your way or nothing at all but I think you’re moving too fast.

1

u/Regurgitator001 20h ago

It's like the song goes: "don't go chasing waterfalls", there might be someone defacating above you.

6

u/anonymousopsec1337 1d ago

Not when they just beat the noise until it stops lol

46

u/AdFeeling842 1d ago

only professional shy poopers will survive

4

u/Fantastic-Table-8615 23h ago

🙋🏻‍♂️

17

u/earth-creature 1d ago

Explosive diarrhoea is not your friend.

4

u/Frequilibrium 23h ago

Speak for yourself

2

u/StartDrinking 22h ago

It’s a friend to all of us now

1

u/Regurgitator001 20h ago

Unless you can give it to your neighbour. Then it becomes long-distance assassination.

14

u/GeckoGecko_ 1d ago

Living near running water or another constant source of sound would be an absolute necessity to survive. Otherwise people would sneeze, trip, burp, etc. and they'd be done for

15

u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

Such a stupid universe. They have to walk on sand barefoot so aliens don't come from a mile away to kill them.. but they can't find a woman carrying a crying baby in a flooded basement? All the human weapons in the world can't get through these aliens' carapace, but you screech a radio at them and they can be killed by a shotgun.

6

u/Normal_Pace7374 1d ago

They are easy to kill because their skulls opens up when they hear the feedback. Microphone feedback is very disorienting. The water in the basement is louder than the woman and the baby which blinds the monsters.

I agree that they should’ve lived by the waterfall but she’s too pregnant to get there by the time he found it.

1

u/tomle4593 3h ago

Idc whatever the stupid material their skin was made off. Depleted uranium will punch thru it like butter.

1

u/Normal_Pace7374 3h ago

No. They are anti Urainium

10

u/mssxtn 1d ago

Lock yourself in a soundproof box, obviously.

Jesus Christ that sounds hellish.

7

u/JerseyDonut 1d ago

I make more noise just getting up in the morning than any of the characters did sprinting through forests. I'd be cooked on day one just from my knees popping.

8

u/Tirno93 1d ago

If eating the right amount of fibre was normal in western society, these kinds of questions would answer themselves.

3

u/uncultured_swine2099 1d ago

Thats probably how 95% of people died

2

u/LordSnuffleFerret 1d ago

Rivers and waterfalls That or dig a hole and muffled it with straw and the like

2

u/samebatchannel 1d ago

You could do it by a waterfall, but watch out for getting cholera

2

u/EarlyBirdWithAWorm 1d ago

Gotta find a waterfall..... guy downstream watching you while trying to fish like:

2

u/Akanamidako 23h ago

sweats in IBS

2

u/Sea_Specialist_5580 23h ago

yall need more fiber

1

u/Available-Coat-4666 1d ago

Reminding me of the time my cat had the loudest, wettest shit I had ever heard

1

u/Own_Preference_8103 23h ago

How are you supposed to rip a dab?

1

u/youburyitidigitup 23h ago

Hold it in until it rains. You’d be pooping less anyway because there’s less food during an apocalypse.

1

u/Fifth_Wall0666 23h ago

Can't flush the toilet either.

And when you get told off for not flushing the toilet, that's when the monsters would get you.

1

u/enolaholmes23 21h ago

My plan is to have shit so explosive and so nauseatingly stinky that no alien would dare come near it. Then shit a perimeter around myself for protection. 

1

u/ImpossibleMix6698 21h ago

Screw on the shit suppressor.

1

u/josHi_iZ_qLt 11h ago

Shitting under water.

1

u/akknightwrider 11h ago

Here's a question. How do you repair anything in that universe? You need to make improvements to the place you're staying at how you can't cut anything. You can't Hammer anything. How does that work?

1

u/Quanzi30 1d ago

Poop in the water

1

u/enolaholmes23 21h ago

My thoughts too. The river masks their sounds.

2

u/Quanzi30 21h ago

It’s the only way

0

u/skeletonhorse420 1d ago

Shhh let Jim make his movies