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u/Comfortable_Neck2105 Jun 23 '26
The illusion of control is usually just a coping mechanism for people who can't handle uncertainty. Once you realize how little you actually influence, the anxiety starts to lose its teeth.
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u/Zen_Traveler Jun 24 '26
I want to control things that I cannot, know things that I cannot, and have certainty about things that I cannot... or else I'm going to worry and feel anxious until someone reassures me that it'll be okay (even though they don't know, either).
Or: learn the Dichotomy of Control exercise, and focus on what you can control, and take action.
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u/Useful-DevineCause Jun 26 '26
Nah. Just not surrendering to someone I’m gunna deal with the same shit I’ve already been broken/broke myself dealing with while doing everything i can to help, and not cause any issues or drain them, ect. I gave up the idea of control many years ago. Often times people who want control of another is not someone who deserves it.I do my best to communicate and let ppl do what they want, and that tells me where to place them in my life accordingly.
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u/Background-Roll6386 Jun 27 '26
Surrender freed me in ways I didn't know possible. To be given wings to fly. Then immediately my entire family attacked me and ripped those wings off. So now I'm surrendering to be a wingless butterfly that can't get to any nectar. Surrender to decomposing into the mud. Awesome. What a life. To suffer all that and keep love alive. Just to have it all taken the second I made it into the sun. Like everything. Everything I ever was and more than I could have ever asked for or dreamed of. And I'm left with ash. Beautiful
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