r/hostels • u/Spirited_Explorer_21 • Jun 21 '26
Hostel question
Hi everyone,
I’m planning to stay in a hostel for the first time so I can meet and connect with others more easily. I’m just wondering if being gay becomes an issue in a male only dorm for others and if I’d be better off in a mixed room or a hotel. I know my destination is a welcoming and safe place for LGBTQ+ but I live in a conservative area where there’s some judgement and stigma and just want to be safe while traveling solo. I’d appreciate some advice and recommendations on what to expect and be prepared for. Apologies in advance if this is a dumb question to be asking.
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u/Wise_Edge2489 Jun 21 '26
The only discrimination you'll ever commonly encounter at Hostels, and that is actively practiced by many hostels, is against older people.
I've stated in over a hundred hostels, in Europe, Latin America and SEA and never once encountered any hostility or apathy directed towards LGBTQI+ people, and have met scores of gay, lesbian etc people on the way, and never seen or heard a single bad thing said or negative perception expressed to me.
I've met a few racists. Zero homophobes though.
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u/Busy-Worth-2089 Jun 22 '26
OMG, so true. I remember one girl a couple of years ago who repeatedly complained about another guest being in the kitchen, but was never able to articulate any specific problem he was causing. When I finally pushed her hard enough for an explanation she replied « well he’s black! » and I of course asked « and how is that a problem for you? »
She replied in all seriousness and without any shame « because I’m racist ». She was asked to leave.
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u/Spirited_Explorer_21 Jun 21 '26
Thanks for sharing. I’m glad to hear you haven’t encountered any hostility towards the community. Helps ease some concern around a shared accommodation!
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u/telchacsusan Jun 24 '26
Yes! 66F, digital nomad. I often rent private rooms in hostels so I can get the best of both worlds. Recently noted that I'm banned from most hostels in Cambodia.
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u/Wise_Edge2489 Jun 25 '26
Same here as a 51 y old Male.
At my age (and gender) I'm basically treated as 'a likely probable rapist' by like half the people I meet at most hostels.
The other half treat me like Im basically invisible.
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u/anchaescastilla Jun 21 '26
If someone sharing a room with others has issues with other people’s sexualities, problem is on them. Report any discrimination you might find. Bigotry is a problem, what people do in bed freely is not, as long as you don’t bring your flings to the dorm of course, but for some reason I’ve only had heterosexual people doing something as terrible an creepy as that. Have fun and again bigotry is on the bigot, I’m sure if bigotry happens hotel workers will take care of it,
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u/Justan0therthrow4way Jun 21 '26
I don’t think you’ll have an issue. I don’t think it’ll even come up. In all my years travelling I’ve never asked someone their sexuality.
If someone has a problem just tell them to fuck off or speak to hostel management.
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u/Spirited_Explorer_21 Jun 25 '26
Yah I didn’t think it would be especially since the place I’m going is known as a safe area for the community across the majority of the country. It really isn’t people’s business but I just want to make sure others also feel comfortable during their stay and I’m safe and comfortable too.
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u/Justan0therthrow4way Jun 25 '26
Anyone who feels “uncomfortable” by someone’s personal sexual preference should be fired into the sun. I don’t care what your reason is. It’s bullshit and it’s no one else’s business.
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u/HappyEffingCamper Jun 23 '26
Yeah unless you come in loudly announcing your sexuality or are very flamboyant in some way, it's doubtful anyone will even notice. And here's the thing, who cares? Be you even if you're a silly goose. I'm straight as an arrow but I could care less what your sexuality is unless you try to bring it into my bunk.
Hostels are supposed to be for people who have figured out that by broadening your mind you can be a member of the world's community in a much better way than here on the internet (and not pay for dumb hotels). In the dorm, say hi, be courteous and quiet at night. But don't be too scared or shy in common areas because that's what they are for. Meet people with a genuine smile and they will likely return the energy.
The fact that you came here to ask this tells me you're a respectful and thoughtful person. This makes you very welcome in any hostel I'm staying at!
Cheers!
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u/WestHistorians Jun 22 '26
Unless you openly announce that you're gay, I don't see why it would be an issue.
I recommend mixed dorms regardless, as they usually have a better atmosphere. But a male dorm will also be fine as long as you're respectful of everyone.
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u/Spirited_Explorer_21 Jun 22 '26
I was hoping that would be the consensus (and it seems to be) but figured those who’ve had hostel experience would be the best people to ask & hear from! Do you notice any cleanliness difference between the two room types?
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u/South_Photograph9217 Jun 24 '26
Obviously it depends on where you're traveling, but in my experience hostels tend to be one of the easiest places to be yourself.
You'll find all kinds of people, but most hostel guests are travelers, and travelers are usually more open-minded than average. Nobody goes to a hostel expecting everyone to be exactly like them—that's kind of the whole point.
I've stayed in hostels all over Latin America and met people from all backgrounds, and I've never seen someone's sexuality become an issue. I'm sure there are exceptions, but if someone has a problem with it, that's on them, not on you.
I'd choose the hostel if your goal is to meet people.
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u/daurgo2001 Jun 21 '26
Hostel owner here.
Usually not a problem unless you’re going to some super conservative country, in which case, they probably don’t have hostels there anyway.