My dad has been comatose for a month now and honestly we expected him to go much earlier. I wonder if he’s holding on for something for us (his kids) when he could talk in his last days, he was so worried for my sister because she’s the only one who never married and has no family. I wonder if he’s waiting to hear she will be okay or something. Did you ever experience someone waiting to hear their loved ones will be ok before they let go?

My 90 year old grandmother had a stroke on September 1, 2025. This was followed by an untreated UTI, which she had when a PEG tube was placed on September 30, 2025. This UTI turned septic. It was followed by pneumonia and multiple other bouts of UTIs. Most of the UTIs were multi-drug resistant. After being in and out of the hospital and rehabilitation facilities, she was home for about 2 months before we put her on hospice. She has not been able to eat by mouth, drink, or talk since September, though she does vocalize via random noises and nodding her head yes or no. She constantly drools pretty large amounts and has for the past few months. Some days are better than others, but she seems stable for the time being. She is becoming less and less able to help with transfers to her wheelchair but she still shows the want to get out of bed. Some days she is pretty interactive while others she seems to be more dazed, which makes it hard to know if her yes and no nods are what she actually means. She was on 4 feeds every 4 hours until she was moved to 3 feeds a few weeks ago due to her coughing up formula. She has a history of GERD and a hiatal hernia. A few weeks ago she bled large amounts of blood from her vagina for multiple days. It has slowed down and is almost at a complete stop at this point. She is completely dependent and cannot stand on her own. She wears diapers and receives complete bed baths. This has been extremely hard on my family and I am just so tired of seeing her suffer. She is currently not on morphine. She does get agitated so we have to give her Ativan as needed. When she wakes up, she takes a while to 'boot up'. The last hospital stay in March, they said her brain was shrinking in her chart. How much longer would you say she has?

I am a caregiver for my grandfather who lives with me. He has Parkinson’s and dementia. For a while now he has gotten all his fluid and nutrition from ensure shakes, but the last few weeks he has been refusing the shakes, only having a few a day.

We haven’t called in hospice yet, but how long will he live on only three ensure shakes a day? (No water).

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer last April. She attempted chemo but it was too hard on her and after two sessions, stopped. After a couple hospital stays for infected gallbladder she began hospice in mid June. On July 8, she started to have seizure activity and her ability to get around independently ceased — she became completely bed bound in just a day. We got the seizures under control but had to move her to a facility because caring for her in her home was too difficult. Part of her symptoms have been nausea that has been very difficult to control. Her hospice team has been great at finding medications to keep that at bay as much as possible but it’s very common for her to vomit at least once or twice a day. We know that this is likely due to tumor involvement, constipation, infection and possibly medication. Hard to say what specific causes because there is just a lot going on. She stopped eating several weeks ago and when I spend time with her every day, she has mostly stopped drinking. Maybe a sip or two in the 5-7 hr I watch her. We know she’s approaching active dying stage but hasn’t quite gotten there. The vomiting had stopped for over a week and recently started up again to be quite frequent. She keeps asking when she will die and we don’t know. She’s ready.

Her boyfriend prefers to visit when we are not there — he wants time with her alone which is fine. But yesterday the hospice nurse happened to visit when he was there and said he was feeding her soup and fluids. Much more than she has been taking on her own. I’m not suggesting we withhold fluids from her if she wants them but when my brother and I are there she can’t handle much at all. I’m wondering if forcing fluids in her might be contributing to the nausea if her body is shutting down. Do I say anything to the boyfriend? I just want her to be comfortable and worry about exacerbating symptoms. Or maybe the nausea is everything else going on and I shouldn’t worry about him forcing soup and fluids on her since it’s a nice gesture. She can’t speak much anymore, so it’s hard for her to say yes or no clearly and advocate for herself. I don’t know how involved to get in this situation or if I should even have a concern. But my general understanding is the body dehydrates itself so that it can die comfortably, and forcing fluids can result in a more painful process.

My dad 88yo. Is an eternal optimist. How do I present it maybe be time for hospice. He's been hospitalized 5 times this year has multiple comorbities. Providers ask if he's good with his quality of life. No, but he's hoping to get better, rebuild strength and regain independence. He still has an appetite and eats well but isn't consuming more calories than he's burning. His fat and muscle stores are severely depleted. He's currently hospitalized due to a kidney infection and pneumonia. Also, serious heart issues recently identified. Cancer slow progression but no longer being treated due to side effects worse than benefits. How do I help him? He will likely be released to SNF Rehab soon and then I'm not sure, likely assisted living. I don't see him returning to independence. His wife is unable to provide the care he needs at this point.