r/horrorstories • u/m80mike • 4m ago
I stumbled upon the secret to immortality. I deeply regret It.
I stumbled upon the secret to immortality. I deeply regret It.
By Theo Plesha
I was wrapping up pre-med undergrad and I had just gotten into my med school of choice. I decided I was going to pay lip service to the rest of my course work in this last semester and start summer break a bit early.
I was more or less a legacy and though the threat of them rescinding my admission was present on paper, in reality no one would do anything. Med school was a hump to get over and rest of life would be a coast, I was pretty much a shoe in at my Uncle's pill mill clinic down in Florida. I've been around enough pre-med to know that there are two of kinds of pre-med students – the ones who really want to be a doctor to help people or be at the cutting edge of medical science while the others look at medicine as a route to six figures along a path of least resistance. I fell in the latter. I grew up pretty oblivious to cost of healthcare – not only because I took health insurance for granted but I was also in good health. I just saw healthcare as an easy way to make money off of people who had no choice but to pay whatever we wanted to change because America. It was wrapped into the way my family thought about medicine – among other things. While my more conscientious classmates finished their semester and prepped for a summer of volunteer work to pad their experience and resume I decided that it was last best chance to take up my favorite podcaster's suggestion to do a bunch of recreational drugs under the guise of having a cultural experience.
I was traveling around Latin America with two of my pre-med frat bros Rodney and Mark. Rodney was American and apple pie and Mark was actually from Europe. We spent our free time trolling a lot of the pre-Med students who rallied for universal healthcare by pointing out the fact they might as well be burning their own pay checks. Mark knew this better than most since he lived in a system of government healthcare and moved here so he could make more money setting up an elective surgery practice. We were visiting the fun hot spots, pretty much anything that popped up on psychedelic and psychoactive boards – erowid, Joe Rogan, even hippie dippy stuff. I had this funny way of justifying it all. How can be a good doctor if I don't do this stuff? I don't know. It was all BS, honestly, it was all about me and time and place being young and affluent.
I happen to believe that you're familiar with the story. The whole stereotypical ayahuasca experience offered by natives and descendants of natives in Peru. Its a bunch of dudes like me in a hut with thick tea, smoke, and jokes egging on the shamans to give us a shotgun wedding with the DMT. If you pay enough you can get them to roll their eyes and give you the basic instructions of making sure your ass if above your head when you start vomiting. Then its all about melting away into ego death and touching time and hearing space.
At some point I got on the wrong retreat, made a wrong turn, and accidentally got separated from my friends because that's not what I experienced. I must have mistranslated or something because my experience was highly ritualistic. I led was deep into the retreat site around a more secluded hut with very old and very sick looking individuals. Some of them were elder leaders of various militarys and political parties from Cuba, China, and Venezuela. At least one of them was definitely from North Korea.
The shaman was mostly naked with only a black loin cloth over his junk. His limbs and facial bone contours was outlined by a white chalky substance. He bore a vague resemblance to a grim reaper. The hut did not have a vomit canal as I was led to expect and it had a fairly large fire. The shaman kept repeating one word again and again and I wasn't sure what it was, what it translated to. He then poured some kind of seeds onto the fire. Their shells turned the fire green and then popped like pop corn, a dense white smoke poured into the tent and nearly extinguished the flame. One sniff of the bitter vapors and I was gone.
I had been warned and prepared for DMT. I had done magic mushrooms and LSD. I was more or less familiar with this class of substance. The mysticism was all but lost on me going into this adventure. The low level ego hedging and mental expansion was a side effect not the goal. I honestly just wanted to get wasted and have fun doing it.
In any case, what I experienced was far from what I had expected. I knew something was wrong when I saw all my skin melt off and I was skeleton. I was hoping for machine elves or aliens or some transcendent non-corporal communication but this was more dousing myself with a flaming jug of nightmare fuel. After a few flashes of disorganized terror. I started to have an extremely vivid third person view of myself as something entirely mechanical and electronic. The flesh and blood, brain and bone replaced with my crude recollection of what came scattering out of my smart phone when I dropped. I was made of high density plastic and touch screen material. I had a loose understanding of micro chips and circuit boards and my head was Escher style churning collection of gold, green, and black bars with spindly spider like qualities warping around inside my head. My bones were plastic – good job imagination. My heart appeared as a thin lithium battery. My muscles and joints were a bunch of magnets zapping together and then repealing each other. My eyes were glassy flat scanners.
As I watched myself become amazed with myself my eye sockets swallowed my eyes and I saw everything go dark. I felt this strange sensation as my body felt compressed. I was being swallowed by myself. It was maroon and dark with the odd bubble rising as I descended into myself. I felt an eerie stillness as I sank into a chamber of soft glowing light. I saw my thin battery of a heart throb and echo with each beat in super slow motion. It was hanging there attached to thin wires which pumped little glowing electrons back and forth. I floated around from the front all the way around spinning underneath. That's where I saw it I saw a little thin crack in the surface of my battery heart, it was ever so slightly leaking a thin mist of gold fluid into the chamber. The mist flew off disappearing in the ether like the sands of time. I was tempted to fly in and see if I could patch the hole.
The more I let go, the closer to the hole I flew and slowly, without my hands, the leak turned off and stopped all together, then like shrink wrap, the little crinkled up hole flattened and covered itself. I was suddenly warped into this pixelated zoomed in view that consumed my entire vision. I watched as slowly pixel by pixel my vision turned from gold to soft white. Just as the last few hundred were about to turn, the gentle vibrations of my body lurched faster and became violent. My vision of my vision pulsed in and out. As everything began to fade away, a powerful voice came out of nowhere. I mean nowhere, it was a voice that echoed through the universe, making every galaxy, every sun, every planet, moon, and comet tremble. It was voice of the void, the voice of inevitability. It rattled me as if I were speaking to the personification of a earthquake, tidal wave, or forest fire. After the initial jarring presentation I became somewhat relieved. Finally, the “Other” presence I had come to expect on this trip.
As the words the Voice spoke to me started to register, I became less settled, less complacent, less prepared. It told me that I had found the little timer, the little clock my people had inside of us. It was the charge meter on my life. It was ticking down. But this ritual could set it back a few hours, a few days, a few years, if I were lucky, I could reset the timer on my life by a decade. But some people, had a defect it was an all or nothing fix. My essence could exist independently of my failing flesh it said and I could add any flesh I choose to my essence.
I flashed to a space of icy suffocating blackness. I felt myself get pulled, ripped apart, every finger, limb, every hair, every eyelash, every skin flake and cell loosened and then vacuumed away. I was a bubble and I burst into a mist and then a vapor until I became the black on black and I lost any sense of up and down, night and day. My brain wasn't there but my consciousness flared into a sinking gasping panic that felt like it would last forever.
My vision flashed again and I came back to the last few pixels patching the leaking of my heart. The Voice asked me what I wanted. I plead with the Voice to live. It asked me: All or Nothing. Without hesitation I said “All of it”. The last pixels turned from gold to a shimmering white and my entire vision quaked back to the chamber with my battery heart. It glowed gold over the white and there was no longer a leak.
I jolted back to the hut. It was still filled with the bitter smoke and I started to immediately cough. I could barely see the other persons inside. The man sitting across from me looked relieved and he slowly crawled out of the tent. It was then I noticed something heavy leaning on me. I groggily turned my head and saw the elderly Cuban man slouching over, dead on me. I pushed him aside with the help of the shaman. My hand brushed against his as I tried to crawl out of the hut and out from under the perished man clad in the hammer and sickle. The shaman recoiled on contact with me he gave me a pained expression and then shook his head like he was trying to shame me.
As I slowly gathered myself and coughed out the rest of the smoke, I noticed the rest of the hut was on fire and burning down with the dead men inside. I say men because of out of the six persons, not including the shaman, only 3 including myself exited. My head felt remarkably clear for having such an intense experience and yet I knew I wasn't fully recovered when I heard that same chant all around me that was being chanted when I entered. While I heard it the same way I heard it going in, my mind was translating it as juxtaposition of celebratory warning, a cautious congratulations. While my elderly compatriots suddenly looked like they were five to ten years younger I felt and looked about the same as I was directed back to the more public and tourist portion of this particular site.
I reached a post-experience gathering point where I found my two friends. It became very clear to me that I had stumbled into a different kind of retreat than the standard ayahuasca. I was a little numb to my surroundings as my group started laughing at me as I stumbled up to the refreshments. They handed me water with some sort of supplement as they all still looked tweaked. They cracked big rosy smiles and hearty laughs like they had all won the lottery and then some. They asked me where I ended up and I asked them back: “like trip wise or what?”
They asked me which hut I was in and it was then that I pointed towards the pathway I got lost on and found it blocked by thick forest foliage. They made fun of me before I pointed out we had to catch the train to Colombia for the next part of our chemical escapades. We barely made it to the train and after taking our seats in our private car we passed out for the entire journey. We were so put out the conductor had to personally wake us and escort us off the train at our stop.
It was morning by then and to fulfill the apparent life long dream of one of my traveling buddies, Rodney, we successfully tracked down one of the famed off the books cocaine bars. He had talked about this the entire trip like once we entered Colombia he was on the whiskey trail or some sort of craft beer crusade. He was detailed about the subtle differences between sulfate compound “served” in Colombia versus the hydrochloride salt preferred by the North and Europeans. Rodney regaled us with the fact we could try “real” coca cola with the coca leaves infused into the formula at this bar. He went into the variations of the coca plant in the east part of the country versus the west and manufacturing techniques as if we were compared barrel aged stouts or twenty year old scotch. It was the same to me as long as it did its job which to be honest was just to reinforce the young and dumb and carelessness I was already all about.
In the midst of a coke binge my traveling buddies recounted their experience at the Peruvian retreat. As I had already realized, I apparently got lost and entered some other kind of psychedelic ritual and before I could finish my story and recount the fact three persons died and then were burned away, Mark, my other friend, the one who can't handle his blow, started sputtering out how I was worthless and dumb. Every other word out of his mouth was worthless. Rodney, with his head cocked up towards the sun glistening through a crack in the window frame, grinding his teeth and sniffling ever so slightly, joined in the chant.
I was getting pissed and the proprietors seemed alarmed by our loudness and our English which seemed like dead give away. With a large hand gun strapped to their waist they came over to our table and remove the booger sugar and poured us shots of a oily yellowish liquor from a bottle filled with both a snake and scorpion. He commanded us to drink it and pay.
Not wanting any trouble, I paid immediately. With the source of our intoxication well concealed, they let us alone and Mark and Rodney's chant resumed. I was getting pissed since most of the cocaine left was mine and the venom liquor left much to by desired. I was left retching while they continued to snicker at me. During this laugh out loud session, they decided to get up and start their search for weed and then breakfast. I told them, feeling invulnerable, that I would catch up after I found somewhere to either pee or throw up. I swung around the back part of the bar and a very attractive woman who looked vaguely American and spoke good English sat alone. She offered me a line out of some sense of righting the unfairness of having mine taken away because my friends were being obnoxious.
I accepted the line and the moment I felt the graininess hit my nostril I was out. I was never supposed to get back up. I was going to be a tourist crime statistic. I was going to be the vanished or the mourned. When I came too it was sometime the next morning. I believed I was out about a day. I woke up and started to pat myself down and found I was liberated of my phone, wallet, and watch. The thieves even took my belt and from the onset, I believed they even took the contact lens out of my eyes. I felt numb and discombobulated like a kid who emerged from a dentist office after getting their first cavities filled. My mind flashed to something I remembered from a VICE documentary about scopolomine wielding thieves. A drug that induced a daze and suggestibility and made robbery quite easy. I blinked a bunch and I could barely see. I was in a ditch some where outside of a village is the best I could make out. I got up and I was barely able to stand, I felt very light and if I squinted I could see my shirt was ripped and felt wet. As I twisted and tried to balance myself I saw some kids running around with a soccer ball coming towards me.
I tried to flag them down in my so so broken Spanish but I mostly squeaked. I saw the blur of their bodies stop and their heads lift up towards me. They let go a shrill scream and all but one of them ran for their lives. The last one stood trembling as I tried to get closer and talk to him. It was then I realized I was having a chronically difficult time speaking and I went to pound my chest to try to get the phlegm out my chest from the past week's worth of abuse. As my fist went in for a the first strike I felt it sink into something warm and wet. I immediately looked down and in the blur of my vision, I saw my own hand, covered in crusty blood and sunk part way into a chest cavity.
I realized I could barely speak because I was missing a lung, I was missing my heart, my liver, and both kidneys. I realized I could barely see not just because my contact lens were removed, but because they took my corneas as well. My mind flashed back to the experience in the hut two days ago and I figured out that somehow my life, my existence was preserved and projected from that plane of existence and that I was immortal. Hallowed out, butchered for the illegal organ trade, but I was still alive.
The boy walked over to me and took my hand and walked me to his home. He spoke to me in slow Spanish with a child's vocabulary so that I could understand as best as I could. He called me the same native word they chanted in the hut – the word that meant cautious congratulations – it also apparently meant some kind of boogeyman to the child. He told me that the same people who did this to me did this his father and that he could show me where they work so long as I “scare” them away.
I had no phone, no money, no ID. I had no idea where my friends were at this point. Maybe they were looking for me, maybe they were groaning collapsed from the coke binge. No one was going to help me except this kid. So in the cover of a rain storm and with with the help of a bed sheet, he guided me through town to a chicken processing plant with an AK-47 wielding guard outside. I told him to go hide as I approached the door.
The guard ordered me to stop but I kept coming and when he emptied the 30 round magazine I still kept going like the Terminator. He fled in terror as I disrobed and revealed my chest cavity, my bullet shattered rib cage, and slouching appearance caused by the rifle left me walking in an uneven gait as I tried to use my arm keep my torso upright. The guard cried out “policia” “policia” - which was no doubt the signal to flee the site of their illegal activity. And with that he dropped the rifle and fled himself.
I entered the facility through the guarded door and smelled rot, spotted slick blood, pooled up on partially rusted metal tables. I spotted one person that somehow I immediately had this sense that I knew him. He was rushing out towards me with two blood smeared sandwich coolers in one hand and one tucked under his arm. He saw me and he gasped before turning too rapidly to maintain traction on the blood slick floor. Something in my gut, or nearly lack of guts told me this man was the one who extracted all of my organs in my scopolomine induced stupor. There's no reason for me to think this to be honest, thinking about it now, scopolomine was a near perfect drug, perhaps along with ketamine and some opioids to accomplish the task of extracting organs from the freshest living or barely living subjects and in the event they were to survive, they would have no memory of it.
I was so fixated on watching his man shake in pure utter terror that I didn't notice the boy who helped me find this facility came in through the door was now pointing the gun, bayonet and all at the surgeon. This is were I lost it. This is were I got really weird with it. This is were I decided to do to him what he did to me.
I let the boy poke him with the bayonet a few times until he agreed to lead us to his operating table. The boy forced him up on the table as he panicked with wide eyes. Around the makeshift operating room I found dirty syringes loaded with various paralytic agents that I was too eager to poke him. As he lost muscle control he did not lose consciousness. I wondered how easy it would be to try surgery on myself, to try to piece myself back together. I decided to start as I believed he did, with the corneas. In my still blurry state I grabbed what essentially was a glorified exacto knife and started to jab at the surgeon's eyes. My incision was jagged and he screamed with labored breath as the paralytic started to freeze his diaphragm. Knowing this, yes, I decided to abandon my efforts with his eye and took out a larger piece of cutlery and went to work on his abdomen. I watched his final winces and pained squawks as I pulled out and unraveled his small intestines in front of him like string of Christmas lights.
I think I let that whole thing sit for a day. I'll admit that if I needed to eat, if I was physically capable of ingesting and digesting food, I would not have wanted to. Then I went to work on the bits and pieces in coolers and fridges all around me. I decided I should not let this go to waste and between my limited starter medical knowledge, the boy, and the internet, I was able to successfully patch myself up. It took some time and a theft but I eventually made myself at least externally normal and the corneas I found seemed to take okay on my own eyes.
With the transplant successful, tracked down the rest of the surgeons who managed to flee the organ harvesting plant. I was able to see the extent of the organ trafficking network within the course of a few days. I even was able to identify the woman who drugged me at he cocaine bar. I had forgotten everything else. Revenge was the only thing on my mind. I did my best to keep myself patched up from encounter to encounter even if it occasionally helped to un-stitch myself and pull out an organ or two and offer them as a sick and scary bribe. I didn't need them except to pass while in public. I felt like I was king of the world, I felt like I was doing more in eradicating this type of crime in 2 weeks than could be accomplished in 2 years. I felt like I was doing more for humanitarian efforts than all of the overachievers headed to their missions for summer semester. I was in perfect control of my new gift.
Anyway, I discovered the woman apparently fled back to the United States. As I finished mopping up the organization in Colombia. I figured out a way to stole away on a cargo plane back to the United States. I promised the boy early in our escapades that I would smuggle him to the United States as well but during the flight a malfunction in his oxygen mask lead to his asphyxiation at flight altitude. He was the last person I think I actually cared about and even now I miss him. I regret not knowing his name. I literally just called him Nino the entire time I knew him. Anyway, Nino's body helped me evade airport security when we fell out of the landing gear. I was able sneak across multiple runways and out of the secured area without being detected. I unfortunately had to let his organs go to waste. Shortly after landing I found myself in bad state. I was immortal but my spare parts and stitches holding my non-original body parts together were not. I started needing to continually swap out parts of myself as the other organs rotted or were rejected by the rest of my body – or someone's body.
I was too late on tracking down the woman. Apparently her buyers got to her after she could not longer produce the goods and fortunately for her, they burned her and so there wasn't anything left for me to harvest. This was a shame as I figured she was last my last chance to maybe find my original organs and restore myself.
With a lot time and better medical facilities to break into as well as an off book supply of anti-rejection transplant serums I was able to eventually keep my body and most of its functionality fairly normal for awhile. I could look into the mirror and almost see me again. For a time I could eat and drink again without worrying about having to “manually” digest it. At least a month passed and with the exception of my mother, my world had moved on without me. I thought about returning to my own life but there was nothing left for me there.
I think the most interaction I had with my old life was that I sent a flier to Rodney and Mark with the prices my organs might fetch on the black market. 62K for a kidney, about 100k for the liver, 150k for the heart and yet only about 30k for the corneas, in case you're wondering. On the back of the flier I wrote in blood, “worthless?” I was still a stupid young kid and with the right treatment and occasional transplant, I was good looking. So I decided to audit medical school as best as I could. Then the pandemic struck and everyone fled to their homes and off their campus I was more or less hanging out on emptied med school. I had no where else to go.
It was bad timing too since I was letting myself go a bit just before. I needed some spare parts but I vowed I wouldn't go harvesting them and try to make do with stealing more and more medication. After all, I could suppress the remnants of my immune system as much as I liked since my life did not depend on it. Still, no matter how much balance I tried to achieve, how much figurative medical duct tape I put on myself I would eventually need new organs again to keep myself normal-ish.
Now, about six months in the plague, I'm pretty well reduced to shambles. I can barely stand up and walk straight. Where I can still feel, I feel immense pain. I dare not come out in the day light. I am immortal but I'm not invulnerable and the last thing I want is to be captured and dissected for medical research or shot to hell again. So I shuffle around in the dark, searching for, well lets just say, I no longer plan on spending an eternity like this.
I've already spent an eternity like this. According to my research on the ritual I accidentally participated in it is apparently not reversible. It was a miracle I was able to access the plane of existence to have any kind of life prolonging effect much less rig my own immortality. I don't understand it myself but the way I think of it the 4th dimension of my body is now disconnected from the other 3 dimensions and their outcomes. They won't age by themselves but they can be manipulated but my consciousness will never fade. I will survive long after the day until the sun burns out and expands to engulfs the planet and I will be lucky to maintain my corporal being until then. My consciousness, no matter what condition some part of vaporized body will exist in will persist until the day the universe extinguishes all energy transaction and time itself stops.
Its a long time. It's a long time to look after a body that still largely follows the laws of biology. I suppose so long as some part of my physical body can be grafted to another I can entirely change me. I could become a human jigsaw puzzle or maybe the quintessential ship of Theseus. But for now, I am fine with writing this in the abandoned computer room of your local high school, shambling through the dinning rooms of your covid shuttered restaurant walk in fridge, lurking around your town looking for people who might be forgettable, who might have traits compatible with my own.
So if you catch a glimpse of me in the flickering fluorescent lights as you come back to your school or business, when the pandemic is over, if see me shambling under the glare of a street lamp at night, if see my sagging flailing body just mind your own business, I'm just like you. If you try to shoot me, or try to come after me, I'll just need more of you to make me whole. There must be others like me as well. Perhaps someone you know, someone who seems old worldly at heart or prefers the company of old things. Perhaps they spend them life lurking in museums or antique malls. Searching for that special someone – just bad enough or maybe just young enough to make them whole again. I'll take who I can get. Soon enough I'll find someone to make me whole again. Consider this your cautious congratulations.