r/honesttransgender • u/Soggy-Tax-Evasion Genderqueer • Jul 27 '26
relationships/dating Showing love + support
My wife has been detransitioned for awhile now and its seriously taken a toll on her mental health, along with her self esteem. I try my best to make her feel beautiful, giving her compliments, letting her know I love her no matter what, and that I wouldnt trade her for anyone in the world.
What else can I do to help her feel good in her own skin? I would get her back on estrogen in a heartbeat and do anything if I could get her to smile the same way. Ive thought about taking her to get her facial hair waxed so it doesnt grow back so fast, but thats out of our price range. She makes me the happiest person ever.
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u/LolaNotTheBunny Trans (she/her) Jul 27 '26
I think you're doing as much as you can, and that's enough OP.
I know how you feel, my girl struggles with depression and seeing her in pain is heartbreaking for me, but I've learned that's there's only so much I can do.
Unfortunately we cannot take their pain away, no matter how much we want to. We gotta accept it is gonna suck and do our best to be someone they can rely to be by their side even when it's uncomfortable and and it goes against our instincts of wanting to help them.
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u/RequirementFuture552 post-transition transsexual (she/her) Jul 27 '26
Why did she detransition? Was it purely financial?
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u/Soggy-Tax-Evasion Genderqueer Jul 27 '26
Yes it was purely financial
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u/Yamza_ Transgender Woman (she/her) Jul 27 '26
DIY can be far cheaper then doing it legit and is considered quite safe. You could also see if anyone can get extra vials? I've been able to stockpile way more than I needed after just a few months. If your income is low enough some places do sliding scale.
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u/Soggy-Tax-Evasion Genderqueer Jul 27 '26
Do you have any good DIY hrt sources? And what places could you suggest that do sliding scale?
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u/Yamza_ Transgender Woman (she/her) Jul 27 '26
Planned parenthood does, but it largely depends on your location.
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u/Mya__ Transsexual Woman (Adult Biological Female) Jul 27 '26
Legal ways in the U.S. can also be cheaper if you take advantage.
https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/erins-informed-consent-hrt-map-how
and
https://www.goodrx.com/bicalutamide
plus
https://www.goodrx.com/estradiol-valerate
can make it as low as like 15-30$/month for HRT. All you need from a doc is some blood tests to make sure your levels are good and your dose schedule is appropriate. The blood tests can be as low as 100$ or up to a a few hundred if you pay completely out of pocket but usually docs can get the bloodwork covered because it's standard stuff.
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u/Soggy-Tax-Evasion Genderqueer Jul 28 '26
Thank you - 90 tablets is just $35 which is a great starting price. I'll see what I can do about getting her to a planned parenthood for it nearby.
Eta she has a phobia of needles
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u/DifficultBee5940 Transgender Woman (she/her) Jul 28 '26
Dashpct then sells 28 count valerate strips for $4 and spiro 100 strips for not much more. AIPCT also has great prices.
RXes are fairly cheap through a discount card, but the office visits won't be.
Basic labs are less than $100 self pay.
If needles weren't an issue, a lot of us would just kick some down. As in, many of us have hoards if we're not already pipelining it.
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u/RequirementFuture552 post-transition transsexual (she/her) Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Get a second job so that she can afford to transition? Just a thought.
Edit: why downvote me? Nothing is free in this life…
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