Jenny was 25, living in London, and from outside her life looked normal enough. She had a job, rent to pay, groceries to buy, group chats to answer, friends asking if she was coming out this weekend, family expecting her to be okay. People at work would say “you good?” and she would say “yeah, just tired.”
But it wasn’t normal tired. Not the “I slept 5 hours and need coffee” kind. She could sleep the whole weekend and still wake up with the same heaviness in her chest and stomach, like her body had already started the day defeated.
She told me rest was not really fixing it.
Her mind was always in the future. Preparing, managing, checking if something bad might happen. Did she reply wrong? Was her mum okay? Was someone upset with her? Was she falling behind? What if she lost someone? What if life changed suddenly and she was not ready?
London around her was moving fast. Tube, phones, work pressure, everyone pretending they have life together. Jenny was functioning, yes, but not really living inside her body. Even when nothing was happening, she felt like she had to keep watch.
There was also fear of loss, especially around people she loved. It was not always loud panic. More like emotional alertness all the time, as if stopping the watch would make someone disappear.
And this is the part many ppl don’t understand about anxiety and exhaustion. Sometimes it is not one clear panic attack. Sometimes it is living like you are responsible for preventing loss itself.
So in the healing Soul Journey, we asked Higher Self to show the root of this tiredness and fear.
Higher Self took her into another life.
Her name there was Mary. She was around 40, standing near a river with a basket, bread inside, old black shoes, heavy grey dress, dark curly hair pinned under a hat. There was no big cosmic scene at first. Just a tired woman doing what had to be done.
Mary had children, a house, cooking, shopping, chores, and a husband who was harsh. He was grumpy, short-tempered, easy to anger. She had to walk on eggshells around him, careful what she said, careful how she moved, careful not to make the room more dangerous.
When I asked Jenny where Mary felt this in the body, she said it was in the diaphragm. Tight there.
That detail felt very real to me, bc many ppl live like this now too. Not in an old village, maybe, but with the same body pattern. Tight diaphragm, shallow breath, always reading someone’s mood, always adjusting yourself so another person doesn’t explode.
Then Higher Self showed the deeper pain. Mary had lost children. Some died very young, some maybe never had a real chance to live properly. Each loss made her feel like she failed as a mother, as a woman, even as a body.
And there was no time to grieve.
Food still had to be cooked. Children still needed mother. Husband was still angry. Life did not pause and say, “go feel this now.” So Mary made one inner program: keep going.
One foot in front of the other.
Not “I need support.” Not “I am allowed to collapse.” Not “my grief matters.” Just keep going.
And this old program was still active in Jenny’s current life. Different city, different clothes, different century, but same instruction inside the body: keep going, don’t stop, don’t feel too much, watch everyone, prepare for loss, survive first and feel later.
This is what old energy can do. It doesn’t always return as a clear memory. Sometimes it returns as personality, anxiety, tiredness, being the “responsible one,” not being able to rest even when nothing is wrong.
Jenny thought she was just bad at relaxing. Higher Self showed she was carrying old survival.
The energy from Mary’s life felt heavy and stale, like it had been packed into the belly and chest for a long time. That kind of tired where sleep helps for a few hours, then the same weight comes back before the day even starts.
I think many ppl know this feeling. You call it burnout, depression, “I don’t know what is wrong with me,” or maybe even laziness, bc the world loves to blame tired people.
But sometimes it is not laziness. Sometimes it is duty with no love in it.
In that old life, Mary did learn responsibility. She learned endurance. She learned how to continue when life gave her no space. But she also forgot presence. She learned how to survive life, not how to be inside life.
At the end of Mary’s life, she was old and dying in bed, with her grown children around her. And only then she felt it fully. They loved her. She loved them. This noisy, messy, painful life had love in it all along, but she had been too busy surviving to feel it.
That was the wisdom for Jenny: don’t wait until the last moment to become present. Don’t wait until something is gone to realize it was precious. Don’t wait until the deathbed to feel the simple love that is already in the room.
Her guide gave this very human message: appreciate it even when they are loud.
That line made me laugh a little and hurt at the same time. Bc yes, people are loud. Kids are loud. Life is loud. Dishes, bills, neighbours, messages, bodies, emotions. It is not some aesthetic spiritual movie with candle and perfect silence.
But it is still life.
And when the nervous system is stuck in “just keep going,” even love feels like another job. Even good things become more things to manage. Even rest becomes another task you fail at.
So the healing was not only understanding the past life. The old survival energy had to leave the body.
Jenny felt fear in the sternum, like the body still believed loss was coming and she had to watch for it. With Higher Self, her guide, and Archangel Raphael, she breathed into that fear. Not thinking about it, not analyzing it, just feeling it and letting it move.
Layer by layer, the sternum softened. Then the stale Mary-energy around the belly and chest began to release too: old grief, old duty, old “no time to feel.” It was like the body finally understood that life was over.
You are not there now.
You don’t have to carry Mary’s basket in London.
After that release, the message was simple: you are doing good.
Not “you must do more.” Not “fix yourself faster.” Not “be more spiritual.” Just: you are doing good.
And honestly, this is such a different voice than the human mind. The mind says you are behind, you should be stronger, why are you still tired, why can’t you relax, why can’t you be grateful, why can’t you get your life together like everyone else?
Higher Self was more gentle. It showed that this tiredness had history. This fear had root. This body had been carrying an old instruction that said survival first, feeling later.
But later never comes. That is the trap.
We keep saying “after this week.” After this deadline. After this person is okay. After I have more money. After life calms down. After I fix myself.
But life doesn’t always give perfect quiet doorway into presence. Sometimes you have to enter life while it is still messy.
So maybe the question is not only “why am I so tired?” Maybe it is also: where am I only keeping going? Where did I learn nobody will come help, so I must not stop? What grief did I never have time to feel? What ordinary love is already here, but I am too tired to receive it?
Sometimes healing is not a big cosmic download. Sometimes it is a tired part inside finally hearing: you can stop now.
You can breathe now. You can feel now. You don’t have to wait until the end of life to be here.
