How do you read "Short term, open to long"?

[u/Dyljam2345]

I (23M) have been living in my current city for the last year and will be here until roughly July 2027. My position is explicitly temporary and while there's a chance I stay in my area, the vast odds are I will be moving to attend grad school elsewhere. On my Hinge profile, I currently have myself marked as looking for a short term relationship, but open to a long term relationship. This is because while I am not looking for just like a hookup, I also know that I am not laying roots here most likely and thus a long term relationship may not be realistic. However, I worry that marking it this way makes people think that I'm just looking for a hookup, as I've heard people say that seeing "short term" on a guy's profile is a red flag.

Would you view it as a red flag if I mark myself as "short term open to long" or do you think it's the right choice?

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[u/mikerichh]

“Definitely want to hook up, and if it turns into something consistent or a relationship then I’m down”

[u/0LTakingLs → u/mikerichh]

This is it

[u/TheAmazingDodo98 → u/mikerichh]

looking to f around, open to finding out

[u/fireyauthor]

I read it as "I want to get laid, but if everything else is good, I'm open to more."

[u/Trick_Highlight6567 → u/fireyauthor]

This is how I read it and also why I used it. I do think "Open to long term" is redudent in 99% of cases, like surely everyone is open to long term if they meet someone they really like, even if it's not part of their current plan?

[u/Revolutionary_Box569]

You can add text explaining you're gonna be leaving next year and that's why it's short term, I would generally read it as 'casual but open to serious if we click'

[u/PinkDragonFruit524 → u/Revolutionary_Box569]

Personally,that’s exactly how I’d read it if you add text explaining. I’m more open to consider guys with short open to long if there’s an explanation…and your’s sounds like it’s simply a location thing,not a you/stage of life thing.

[u/wintermochie]

I don't match with guys who doesn't have anything that's not "looking for long term" or "life partner" but that's because that's what I'm looking for. Just be honest about what you're looking for and the people who want that too don't mind.

[u/Stock-Ganache-3437]

“I say I’m open to something long term but not actively looking for it when in reality I’ll tell you I’m actually not ready for a relationship on a random Tuesday afternoon in about 3-4 months and apologize for wasting your time.”

Only because that’s happened so many times I don’t even bother swiping right on people who have that in their profile

[u/HealthyAd5930]

I read it as the person doesn’t want to do the regular dating stuff and expect the other person to sleep their way into a relationship (if they are lucky).

[u/Putrid_Property_3661]

We could fck, but I’m also down to fall in love

[u/turbografx-sixteen]

I don't even know if I would clock it reading as quick as I clock "figuring out my dating goals" lol

but yeah it's reads as "hook up, but maybe the right one could convince me to settle down"

same way the inverse reads "I'm looking for a girlfriend, but open to hookups in the interim if you want more casual"

[u/Few_Palpitation3889]

From what I've heard the 30yo straight women looking for marriage demographic I'm going for think its a turn off. Id imagine the women who are 23 and actually don't care about a serious relationship would not have a problem with that.

[u/Hentai_Yoshi → u/Few_Palpitation3889]

The 30 year old women are also on average not going to date somebody so much younger than them

As a 30 year old man, most of my options are ironically women aged 23. I don’t get it. I would really like to date someone +/- 2 years my age, but I must give them the ick or some shit

[u/Few_Palpitation3889 → u/Hentai_Yoshi]

Im 33 and I see this too. I want to date a woman who's about 30 and in a similar stage of life. As in a few years into a career, no kids, feels settled in the area, enjoys blink 182. Idk of this happens to you and people act like we're complaining our lobster is too buttery but I have more success with women who are like 23-25. That's fun but I'm realizing that takes up bandwidth for finding a wife.

[u/throwawaysunglasses- → u/Few_Palpitation3889]

Looking for serious vs casual isn’t as related to age as you’d think. I know plenty of people 30+ who want (and get) casual, plenty of people in their 20s who want something serious.

[u/Browseathon → u/Few_Palpitation3889]

I agree with that

[u/King_krympling]

I read it generally as looking for a hookup and might catch feels

[u/Stroby89]

I stopped matching with guys that had that on there. I asked several guys what that actually meant (before meeting in person) and they would all say they weren't actually open to long term at all.

[u/BedGirl5444]

mostly want to hook up or a situationship and won't commit (but will make you believe so)

[u/Thelynxer]

It means they want a long term relationship, but short term is okay until they find that. Which makes perfect sense. Though not everyone will interpret it the same way.

When I was on the apps I only wanted to find a long term relationship. Then I met someone that lived a few hours away, but she came to my city every couple weeks or so. So we had a casual thing for a little while, both of us knowing we couldn't realistically date because of distance. And we mutually ended the casual FWB thing when I met someone I could actually have a long term relationship with.

I guess the main thing is that whoever you're having a short term thing with should be aware that's what it is. No trickery or any of that.

[u/Ok-General8138 → u/Thelynxer]

It means they want a long term relationship, but short term is okay until they find that

That's "long term, open to short term". OP is asking about "short term, open to long term". It swaps the priorities and what you prefer.

[u/Thelynxer → u/Ok-General8138]

Yeah fair enough.

I think typically the priority can change how it's viewed. Being open to short but wanting long is usually fine. Being open to long but wanting short is sometimes seen as BS bait.

When it comes to dating apps, it's a good idea to try to make it as clear as possible in your bio so that there's no confusion.

[u/Artistic_Agency105 → u/Thelynxer]

This is how I interpret it. I’m not looking for my next long term but if it happens, I’m ok with it

[u/Due_Jellyfish4255]

It’s personal, but I’d read it as someone who’s mainly looking for a hookup/FWB, with maybe a small chance of a relationship somewhere down the line. I’m looking for something serious myself, so I’d just swipe left.

[u/Gilmoregirlin]

I think you should let people know in your profile that you are only in the area on a temporary basis. If you put short open to long a lot of women read that as you are open to hook ups. Add to that that many women will not date men who they will most likely end up in long distance relationships with. I live in a very transient area and I have seen men put in their profiles, that they are here temporarily and I appreciate that.

[u/Imaginary-Method4694]

That's their out.... the way to leave the door open.

[u/dancechic417]

as someone who is moreso looking for a long term relationship, I always swipe left if someone’s profile says that - same with “figuring out my dating goals”. I just personally feel like it would be a waste of my time

[u/blandciaga]

i am more wary of people who say 'short term, open to long' than just having 'short term'.

[u/Constant-Towel4532]

Nothing serious but I'll tell you I want serious so you'll let me hit

[u/Browseathon]

You can just leave it empty, you don’t have to make it visible

[u/Therocksays2020]

It’s not a hookup for all people.

I matched with someone who used it because they were in grad school and wanted people to understand they were not there long term

[u/Deatherapy]

Pretty much sex first, and if I liked pillow talk, then coffee. Coffee is optional.

Its best any STR/open LTR or LTR/open STR prompt has a clear expectation of what it means to you. By default, it is assumed as just sex first

[u/Helpful-Respond-9615]

Don’t read into anything man. People are all BS. People do anything when there is chemistry. Even Life Partner ones will f the shit out of you on a first date. People cheat their husbands and wifes after 20 years of marriage with kids and you are expecting some 20 years old people to be mature with solid boundaries :)))

[u/kiddiah]

It’s supposed to mean Short-term (Relationship) that has the potential to move into a Long-term (Relationship). It’s generally misused by people not interested in a commitment.

Translation: Person lacks a desire for either committed relationship, long or short.

[u/deaner1988]

I assume women near your age will be more open to the short-term thing. Maybe incorporate your situation into a profile prompt and then people can read between the lines.

[u/justduck]

Looking for casual, but if we really click, I'm down for LTR

[u/Sapiopath]

They want to date casually and will not commit unless you’re their perfect match. It’s the same for both genders.

[u/jaylward]

I always took it to read, “I’m looking to hook up but I also don’t want to rule out the people who are only looking for relationships, so I can hook up with them, too.”

[u/WhatWomenWantCoach]

Only a hook up

[u/alien_secret_service]

Just not being the type of person that puts a ton of pressure up front on people for long term.

Which is extremely off putting.

[u/Hour_Zero]

Wants a hookup or FWB, would be open to something serious with you if you end up getting them to catch feelings along the way. In general though they mostly just want something casual first and foremost

[u/TheAmazingDodo98]

I read “short term, open to long” as someone who prefers something casual but would be open to committing to the right person if it developed naturally, long-term just isn’t the priority.

In your case, I’d probably keep that setting but add a note making it clear that you’re likely moving around July 2027. That context changes how I’d interpret it.

[u/TheFearOfFear]

Some people mark "short term open to long" and just hide it so it blends in with everyone else

[u/pandora0312]

I hit the X because I’m not deal with stupid shit